I rant, therefore I am.

Job Update

2012-01-26T19:22:00.000-08:00

I was going to post right after the New Year, but I got busy being unemployed. Don't know how it happened, But I was too busy doing pretty much nothing to post. So here is my update for January.

While looking for jobs online I finally gave up on bookkeeping positions and applied at the new Allstate Call Center. I interviewed on January 9, and January 11 was tentatively offered a job. I had to consent to a background check, and schedule a drug screening. Last Friday, January 20, I was officially offered the job, once I logged on and confirmed the information from my application. Unfortunately, there was a problem with the link. 8 emails and 8 different links later, I finally was able to log in and confirm my information. Next email I received had a link to the W-4, Direct Deposit, and all other new hire info. That's it folks, I am employed!

Down side. i will be working second shift. 2-11 pm Sunday - Friday with Wednesday and Saturday off. No real weekend. And it will be tough with Kat. I will turn into "that lady who drives Kat to school." Upside. I will have Saturdays off so I can watch Kat bowl. And Wednesdays I can run errands and take a nap.

Fast forward to last night. I am surfing the Department of Labor's site for jobs, and the temp agency posted a job for a full charge bookkeeper. And the position is temp to perm. Contacted the temp agency about it, and my resume will be sent over. The CPA firm wants a self motivated worker with lots of accounting knowledge. That's me! Hoping to hear for sure about it before I start at Allstate next Friday. I don't want to disappoint the people who hired me at Allstate, but would love the opportunity to work 8-5, Monday - Friday, and make more money. No, it is not all about the money, but c'mon! I should at least be paid what I am worth. JH Kelly did, and I kind of liked it. So prayers would be appreciated this week that whatever job God wants me to have will be shown to me next week.

In other news, last weekend was the City youth bowling tournament. Kat took 9th over all for the weekend. Such a proud mama! This weekend is the High School Invitational. High schools from all over the state will convene on Pocatello for a preview of regional and state. I will video some of the tourney. It is very interesting to watch. on Saturday I will post again Saturday with results and an explanation of how high school bowling is played.

So, that is it for now. Remember, pray early, pray often.

I Just Gotta Rant!!!

2012-01-07T11:37:00.000-08:00

So therehave been so many annoying things that have happened in my town this week thatit is time for an Andrea rant.

So this weekhas been the week for auto collisions. On Wednesday there was a school bus vs.Dodge neon accident. First off, no kids on the bus at the time of the accident.But, how do you miss a ginormous yellow school bus when leaving a stop sign? Areyou really in that much of a hurry that you think you can beat a school busthrough the intersection? Also on Wednesday was a semi vs. train accident inShelley, a town about 45 minutes from here. I really don’t know much about thisone, but, if a train is coming, STOP!!!! The final incident on Wednesday was anintoxicated driver who took out 3 parked cars. Again, call a cab! One goodthing, Sammee vowed to me again that she will NEVER drink and drive.

Yesterday, apedestrian in a wheelchair was hit by a car crossing the street by theUniversity. Then, right in front of the high school downtown, a truck wasturning left and hit a car going straight through the intersection. A fenderbender was bad enough, but the driver of the car jumped out with a baseballbat, smashed the passenger’s window of the truck and then chased the driver ofthe truck with the bat. This happened just after school got out. So the driverwas cited for failure to yield and the wacko was arrested for assault. Myquestion is….when in the hell did we become so angry and so quick to fight,sue, etc? What has happened to our society?

Today, as Iwas driving to pick up Kat from school, again, by the University, I stopped fora pedestrian at a crosswalk. She was almost hit not by one but by two carszipping by in the left lane after I had stopped. One even changed lanes when hegot to the stopped cars. Are we really in that much of a hurry that we can’tslow down for 12 seconds while someone crosses the street? And one person wasyakking away on her phone! For God’s sake people, hang up and drive! Then, onthe way home, again by the University, we almost witnessed an accident becauseof someone stopping for a pedestrian. Again!

As asociety, we have become selfish, hurried people with no regard for others. Wepark in handicap parking spaces because they are open, and, we will only be acouple of minutes. We jump into the only open parking space at Wal-Mart aheadof the young mother with 3 small children so she has to walk from the North 40with her brood. We gripe when the elderly couple in front of us at the checkoutis moving slowly. We honk at the car in front of us if they don’t jump thesecond the light turns green. Very few people say please and thank you anymore.We don’t tip our waiters, waitresses, pizza delivery drivers or hairdressers.

And, itdoesn’t stop in the outside world. We bring it into our work places, homes, andeven our places of worship. We back stab co-workers to get ahead, and gossipabout them to make ourselves look better. We treat our family like dirt. And,if the pastor/bishop/rabbi, etc., says something to tick us off, we hold our titheout of spite. Or if we have a conflict with someone at the church, whetherleadership or another member, we leave in a huff and talk to everyone but theperson who wronged us about how hurt we are. Or we gossip about the family whois struggling with something so we feel better about our shortcomings.

This societyis going to Hell in a handbasket! We need to do something NOW to fix this! Ifor one will stop at crosswalks, be more patient in lines and red lights, thinkbefore I talk about someone behind their backs, and mind my manners. I will bedoing my part. What will you do?

2011, The Year That I'd Like To Forget

2011-12-22T20:34:00.000-08:00

I know, it's not New Year's yet, but I know what next week will be like, so here it goes.

My year was pretty uneventful until summer hit. First, the company I work for finished a major part of the construction project. So, the Project Manager I had been working under for almost a year went back to Washington, and a new person took his place. So I had just gotten used to one management style, and the new Project Manager was the total opposite. Then we moved trailers. Then, slowly, the customer started putting restrictions on who could drive where, who could park where, etc. Things got a lot more tense between my company and the customer.

Then another Project Manager came onsite. Yep, you guessed it. Totally different management style. But, everyone had to juggle both styles at once. Two projects running simultaneously.

In September, I took my baby girl to Portland and left her there to go to college. As you know from past posts, she loves the city, loves college, and finally got a job! And, she is home right now, so all is right with the world. i think it will be easier to send her back in 2 weeks.

In October, I had to go to court about my Child Support order. I ended up losing the case, but it all worked out for good. Sammee and Tori have slowly started a relationship with their dad, stepmother, and brothers. Tori even went to Denver for Thanksgiving. My income went down, but we dealt with it.

In November, our project started completion, so all overtime was stopped. Income went down again. But we dealt with it. I wasn't sure if I could tighten my belt anymore, but I added some holes to the old belt and tightened away.

This month, as you all know, I was temporarily laid off. I have freak out moments, but they are really not that often. Like I keep saying, God will take care of it. He's done it before, and He will do it again.

Next week I get to earn some money. I will clean empty apartments in a student housing complex. Not glamorous work, but it will help pay the bills. What can I say, I like to work.

So that is my year. A little boring, some adventures, lots of trials, smiles, laughter, and tears. So here's to 2012. May it bring prosperity, joy, and success to all of my friends!

I Am Running Out Of Titles!

2011-12-18T18:42:00.000-08:00

So tomorrow starts week 2. I will know within a day or 2 how this whole direct deposit of unemployment insurance works. According to the Department of Labor's website, the funds will be DDed within 3 business days of my weekly claim update. I can do the update anytime after midnight on Sunday. This is totally new territory, and I hope to not utilize it for long.

T'was the week before Christmas and all through the fam, we are happy and chatty and ready for some family time this weekend. For us, however, family time not only consists of going up to Mom and Dad's for dinner and presents, but the Christmas Eve services at church. We don't just attend, we participate. And this year is no exception. Our Worship Pastor, Karl, is trying to get drama back into worship services, and guess who gets to lead it. So that whole "time to step down as treasurer" thing was so I would have time to revamp the Drama Ministry. That is really where my heart is anyway.

So, Saturday night, Sammee, Tori and I will do a skit called "Three Trees." Very powerful skit. Doing it as a Reader's Theatre, so less blocking. And, yes, my girls got wrangled into this, but they love it. I will have someone video it and will post on You Tube next weekend.

I have a couple of job opportunities and will be papering Pocatello with resumes tomorrow. I hope I can find something besides jeans and hoodies in my wardrobe to wear out to drop off resumes. I will dig until I find some khakis and a nice button down blouse.

I will keep y'all posted on these jobs. Who knows, I may end up with 4 10 hour a week jobs. I have a friend who did that for years and loved it!

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a prosperous 2012 to all!

Week One

2011-12-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

So week one of unemployment has proved to be the week that I am never home. Trips to Health and Welfare, Unemployment, taking Kat to school, picking her up, running Tori to work, etc., church, bowling, yada, yada, yada. Next week will probably be quieter.

My unemployment was approved, but I am disqualified from Food Stamps until January. Thank God for the FBC Food Pantry. I will actually utilize their generosity and food box of love.

I have applied for a couple of jobs. I am looking for something to get me by until the jobsite reopens in mid February or so. I am not going to just sit around and wait for February. It's not in my nature. I love working and providing for my family regardless of what the wage is. I am a social person, and I make the best of whatever job I happen to have at the time.

In the summer of 2010 I was unemployed for 4 months. During that time, the temp agency kept me in small jobs almost continuously. And I did a number of things. I served at a graduation dinner at the University. I did concessions at the football stadium. I worked for an auction house part time for a few weeks updating the website. I sat outside an all day seminar doing registration, checking to make sure drinks were available, keeping the schedule flowing, etc. I even ran around the area changing out advertisements on top of gas pumps. I have never had someone I have worked for have an issue with attitude or anything. I think I am just so happy to be working that I have fun at whatever I am doing.

So here I am, positive and happy. And, it's time to go get Tori to take her to work. She won't drive until she gets her wallet from Kirk. She left it in his car in Boise.

More updates later.

Merry Christmas Break!

2011-12-11T18:06:00.001-08:00

I got my Christmas present yesterday. TORI IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!! I did have to drive to Boise and pick her up. For those of you not from Idaho, Boise is about a 3 1/2 to 4 hour drive from Pocatello. I tried to leave so we would arrive in Boise at the same time, but I ended up waiting for an hour. I had a book, so it was okay. Met up with Tori and Kirk, loaded the car, grabbed mom more coffee (too much coffee yesterday), got in the car, went one exit over, met Kirk, got Tori's presents for her family, and hit the road. Ended up getting home around 9:30. Stopped at Fred Meyer to get Tori a phone charger (her's is in Portland), took her to her car, went home and rested my weary tushy. I am still sore, mostly down my left leg, but my left lower back has chronic problems, so it will ping and twinge for a couple of days. I'll be fine.

So I have definitely ruled out long haul truck driver as a possible career change. Because that would be a perfect fit for me (sarcasm, sarcasm). Tomorrow will be a pretty full day for me for not having to work. Health and Welfare to apply for food stamps, Dept of Labor to check on my unemployment claim, gotta shut off the cable, stop off at the school district to sign Kat up for free lunch, take Tori to work, go watch Kat a bowling practice, pick up Tori from work. Gosh, I think I will put in a full day's work tomorrow. Oops, I forgot about taking Kat to school. That would be the first errand. I should probably allow an hour or so for job hunting.

I do have some skills that are marketable in the here and now. So if you're in the Pocatello area and need some help with bookkeeping, payroll, or computer or network help, give me a holler. I have reasonable rates, and I am good at what I do.

Until next time.

It Will Get Better

2011-12-09T20:09:00.001-08:00

So I am now unemployed. Temporarily. The thing is, I am not devastated, I am not stunned. I am okay. I am okay because of a few factors.

First, I work with an amazing group of people. I use the present tense because I will go back there and work with them again. All day I got hugs. As someone would leave for the last time, a hug. As I was getting ready to leave, more hugs. Big, strong, macho construction guys hugging me like an old friend. Not that I'm old.

Second, they take care of me. I have had offers of making sure I have a full tank of gas. One coworker gave me a microwave and a box full of food and kitchen stuff. Also laundry soap and TP. Why? Because. This is the same person who paid for my radiator. Why? Because. One coworker gave me Christmas gifts for me and all 3 girls. I'm sure more will come my way. Why? Because construction workers take care of each other.

Third, I have made an impression on these people. Both here in Pocatello, and at the home office in Longview, WA. The head of payroll said that if they start back up without me, she will have words with the President of the company. Who also likes me, by the way.

So, I have no job for now. I am not sure how the bills will be paid. I hope that my unemployment claim will be approved and I will start receiving it soon. But, I know that God has my back. He won't let me and the girls starve, freeze, or be stranded. I have faith.

On an up note, I get to drive to Boise tomorrow to pick up Tori. She is driving home with her boyfriend, Kirk, for Christmas break. But, Kirk is stopping to visit his mom in Boise for a few days. So Tori needs a ride to Poky. Since I am not worried about gas for Jeepers right now, I will drive the 4 hours to get her and come back home. I'm excited! And I actually don't think that I will have much time to talk on the way home, but the car will be full of chatter.

So, in a nutshell, I am unemployed at Christmas time, Tori is coming home tomorrow, and life is good. And, God is good. The rest are just details.

Peace.

Boring, or Exciting?

2011-12-07T19:31:00.001-08:00

So this is my last week at work. For now. I will probably go back around February? Maybe? Here's hoping. In the mean time, if I can earn about $200 per week on top of my unemployment, I should be able to cover the bills. And maybe gas and food. But, of course, a full time job would be much better.

Now to share the blessings that have come my way recently. First, as you all know, my Jeep got fixed. Here's the kicker. A co-worker purchased the new radiator and cooling fan. Then, the spouse of a friend did the labor for free. My only expense was $36 for antifreeze (which mom paid). The Jeepers is back! Just in time for snow.

Blessing #2: Yesterday when I got home from work, I had a package. Well, it's Christmas. Didn't recognize where it was from, but shook gently, and heard jingle bells. Inside were 4 very cute snowman ornaments, a tin of fudge (all mine), a tin of peanut brittle (probably also mine), a book, a card, and a special surprise. I won't tell details, but man, it was timely, needed, and very much appreciated. If you want to know more go to www.christmasjars.com. You can get more information there. Awesome thing, and who knows what I may do next year about this time.

And, the big news of the week.....Tori comes home this weekend!!!!!!!! Geez, I have missed that little bundle of energy! And, she is coming home with A's in her classes and a job! At least one, with possibly another one in the works. I am so proud of her for being brave in being alone in a strange place, being persistent in her job hunt, and being an inspiration to everyone who knows her. She also bravely flew on a plane for the first time ever and survived! She had flown twice before, but both times with Sammee. So excited to see her, squeeze the stuffing out of her, and go to Co Ho for coffee and stories!

Lastly, I am blessed to have 3 amazing daughters who lean on me and let me lean on them when necessary. I am blessed with awesome parents who have my back at all times. I am blessed with wonderful friends and co-workers. And my church family is the biggest blessing a person could ask for.

So, even with the financial trials I have experienced over the past 2 months, my life is totally blessed, and guess who gets all the credit? Yep, you guessed it, God.

So, hug your family and be grateful for your job. I will be back soon.

Karen, I hope this was exciting enough. DMA, here is your post.

Me, In A Nutshell

2011-12-03T19:04:00.001-08:00

So, I get this question a lot, so I thought I would do a quick post about why I am still single after almost 16 years.

For some reason, people just can't understand how I can be content to be alone and not even date. But I am. It started out to be "out of obligation," but became comfortable, and now it's just who I am.

When I got divorced, I suddenly had 3 little girls who I had to raise on my own. No help, no breaks. Well, Mom and Dad, but you know what I mean. I made a vow to those little girls that anytime I was not at work, I would be home with them. Not that they had a clue. They were 5, 3, and a newborn. Hence, why I chose to put the girls first.

My friend and Pastor, Bill, told me that I would get married again. I laughed in his face. In love. Don't want to get on the Pastor's bad side. I asked him if he had ever taken inventory of the single men my age in this town. They all had more baggage than I did. Criminal records, mama's boys, deadbeats who couldn't hold a job, addicts of some sort. I totally didn't have the energy or patience to have another "child" around. So I waited. I actually made friends with some of the single dads at church, but that was it. We had too close of a connection with our issues raising our kids, and were just good friends. And, since they would come to me for advice about women, it seemed a little inappropriate to even think about dating any of them.

Fast forward. The girls were getting older, and spending more time with their friends. I remember the first Friday night I was alone in the house. Sammee was at a play with friends, Tori and Kat were both spending the night at a friend's house. I sat on the couch all alone and cried. I felt so lonely. But that didn't last long. The quiet in the house turned from a heavy reminder of their absence to a sanctuary. Not that I don't love my kids. Far from it. But, the rare occasions that I had no children in the house turned into precious mommy time. I relaxed, watched movies that I knew the girls would hate, and basically revelled in the quiet. But nothing beats the sounds of a house full of girls. Whether they are dancing and singing together or fighting, those are the best sounds in the world.

Fast forward again. Sammee and Tori are grown. Kat is almost grown. I have all the time in the world. So why don't I give it a go and try dating? 2 words. Too old. Okay, 2 more words. Set in my ways. Oops, that was 4 words. 4 more words. I can't remember how. I'm fine being single. I wasn't at first. My Aunt was single my whole life. She seemed angry and bitter. When I first got divorced, I was scared that I would be just like her. Old, angry, and bitter. Didn't happen. Probably because I made a conscience choice, and made it with thought, not just "oh, well, I guess I'm stuck with these kids." Not that my aunt did that.

So that's my story. One more thing. In the Bible, it is stated that certain people shouldn't marry so they can do God's work. The Apostle Paul never married. He wrote almost the entire New Testament. Maybe God kept me single to raise these amazing girls, and to keep me free to do the ministries I have done at First Baptist. And, just so you all know, the Drama Ministry will be kicking up again after a llllloooooonnnnggggg hiatus (like 6 years or something), and guess who's leading it? Yep.

Enough Life Lessons, Already!

2011-11-30T19:12:00.001-08:00

So, today was a not so good day. I knew this was coming, but didn't think it would be until the end of the year. The company I work for is closing the job site until February. As of 4:00 pm on Friday, December 9, I will be unemployed. Now, I have never been laid off, never been fired. I had one job that when the contract with the temp agency expired it wasn't renewed, but that felt different.

I am a bundle of emotions. I am sad, because I made so many friends at this job and I love all of them. I am scared, because my unemployment insurance will be about half of my regular salary. I am actually a little happy, because I can spend more time at home doing the mommy do's that have gone to the wayside because I was always so busy at work and with the kids.

Don't worry, the agency has already sent my resume to a local CPA firm for a full charge bookkeeper position. Full time, permanent. Pay cut (massive), but higher than unemployment. Note to self, NEVER, EVER say never. 5 years ago I quit my job at a CPA firm to go back to school and get my IT degree. I vowed NEVER to work for an accounting firm again. See where that got me? I have to smile through the pain at that one.

I know I will be fine. Kat will be fine. Tori will be fine. Sammee will be fine. I will get past the emotions, and maybe even allow myself a good cry. I might need one. Then I will get up, brush off the construction dust, and find a new desk to put my custom made, Tori original pencil holder, and my Russian Nesting Pigs (email me if you want details on that).

I think Stewart Smalley (Al Franken character from SNL) said it best. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me!"

A Quick Note

2011-11-26T21:20:00.001-08:00

So my long holiday weekend is almost over. Here are the things that I have learned.

1. If you let a child go do what their heart tells them to, it's okay. Tori's visit with her dad and step mother went very well. They had fun, went shopping, and even saw the Broadway National Tour of Lion King. She had bonding time, and got to know another part of her relatives that she hasn't seen since she was 3. I think she is a more complete person from this experience.

2. The mom must always forgive and let sleeping dogs lie. At first I had a hard time with the whole "Tori is going to Denver" thing. I worry too much. Not about standard stuff. I worried that it would be awkward, that there would be hard feelings. Totally not true. Then I was okay with the whole trip. I think I would have been more worried if Tori would have stayed in Portland for Thanksgiving. I hate for her to be lonely and away from family.

3. What am I really thankful for? At the core, I am thankful when my girls are happy and having fun. My girls are the essence of my being. I spent 15 years alone, trying to raise them the best that I could. I think I did an okay job.

4. True friends are there regardless of what the ups and downs are in life. I have had a couple of friends who have listened to my weird ramblings and smacked up along side the back of the head (Gibbs style), and reminded me of exactly what I have. Love that!

So that's about it. Who knew that the first year that one of the girls couldn't be home for a holiday would cause me to learn so much about myself. I am strong, I am happy, my kids love me, and my family (see definition in last post) is ALWAYS there for me!

A very Happy Holiday season to you and yours! Whoever reads this post! Friends, family, acquaintances, former friends, and people I don't even know! Everyone deserves a Merry Christmas!

Family Defined

2011-11-24T18:14:00.001-08:00

So what is really the most important aspect of the holidays? Anyone, Bueller? Family. I have seen a lot of status updates today on Facebook, and most of them talk about spending time with family. So what defines family?

Family (n): any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents,children, uncles, aunts, and cousins.

From Dictionary.com

There were actually lots of definitions, but that one is my favorite. The rest talked about a household of related adults and children. Meh. So, not a bad definition. When we have a family dinner, it's usually up at my parents' house, so Mom, Dad, me and the 3 girls. Unless extra family is in town.

So where am I going with this? I'm not sure yet. But this is my starting point. Tori is in Denver with her dad for Thanksgiving. Tonight she got to hang out with her Aunt Kisha. And Aunt Harriet, Uncle Aaron, Gramma Evelyn, and a whole slew of relatives that I can't remember. and they remembered me! I experienced the same thing last year when Sammee and Tori went to Denver to visit their Aunt Jacole and Aunt Lonni. Big family dinner, and all of those people remembered me too! Punkin, Collette, Breeze, Winter. I haven't seen these people for 16 years, and I am still family.

Tonight Sammee is having a bunch of friends over for dinner. She is calling it a family dinner. These people are the ones Sammee spends all of her time with. Shasta, Joey, Lakota, and lots of other friends who I know but can't remember their names. Most of her friends have already spent time with their families and want to get together tonight. Are these people really her family? They know a lot about her, she confides in them, cries with them, laughs with them. And they all call me mom. I have more "children" than I can count.

So now to my point. Regardless of Webster's definition, family can easily be defined as a group of people who live in your heart, and share your life with you. No matter the miles that separate you or the amount of time that passes between visits, whether related by blood, marriage, or deep friendship, family is what you make it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Giving Thanks

2011-11-23T19:35:00.001-08:00

So I survived a very short, but very full week at work. Payday is on Thursday, but this week, guess what? Thursday is a holiday! So, I had to have all time in to payroll by last Friday, audit of hours on Monday, and sort paychecks today. Plus, we had 13 lay offs today. The job is starting to wind down, so almost every week we have to lay off some workers. I hate that part. I don't actually have to give the guys their final checks, but I know these guys. They are all fun people, and the atmosphere changes when people leave.

So now my little list of what I am thankful for.

I am thankful to still have a job. I don't know for how long, but right now I live in the here and now.

I am thankful for a dependable car. Not my car, Tori's car. But, I don't need a new radiator. My cooling fan motor is dead. That's all. So thankful for minor repairs.

I am thankful that Tori is developing a relationship with her father. She is in Denver for Thanksgiving, and from the Facebook posts, she is having fun.

I am also thankful that Tori will be home in 2 weeks for Christmas. I have missed having her around and hearing her say, "Hey, mommy guess what?" in her high pitched squeaky fast voice.

I am thankful for my family. Mom, Dad, Jenn, Sammee, Tori, and Kat. Family is everything to me. I put my personal life on hold for my girls, and could not be more happy with my decision.

I am thankful for my friends. Most are acquaintances, but there are a few like Brittney and Bobi who almost know more about me than my mom.

I am also thankful for my Facebook friends. Friends from high school, college, even some celebrities. And of course family. People knock Facebook and Social Networks, but it keeps me connected to people who were a big part of my life.

I am thankful for my church family. They have helped me raise my kids, they keep me grounded, and are willing to "Gibbs" me (if you watch NCIS you will understand) in love when necessary.

And finally, I am thankful to God. Without him I am nothing, my children are nothing, life is nothing. He gets me through each day. I have had so many times when I was unemployed and I didn't know if I could pay the bills or feed the girls and the money showed up. If God was not the main part of my life, I don't know what may have happened to us.

I think that's enough for now. Continued prayers are appreciated as always. What are you thankful for?

Emotions!

2011-11-21T17:46:00.001-08:00

So for some reason I have been emotional today. I started tearing up while driving on the jobsite. I was just driving. That's all. Well, I guess that's not all. I had just driven a co-worker to a meeting, and he told me he has a radiator for me, cheap. Now, here is the deal. He will buy it for me, and refuse repayment. These guys do this to me all the time. And, I think that another co-worker is paying for the repairs. Again, refusing repayment. Last year, a bunch of the guys got me new tires, and another paid for the installation. One of the general foremen gave me $100 to buy the girls stuff for Christmas, just because. Construction workers are some of the most generous, caring people I have ever met. And, they take care of everyone they work with.

It is also a holiday week. I always get a little emotional this time of year, but mainly because my family is so important to me. And, this is the first year all 3 girls will not be home for a major holiday. Tori couldn't make it home from Portland, especially since she will be home for Christmas in 2 weeks. So, she is off tomorrow for an adventure in Denver with her father. We will miss her, but I am so glad she has somewhere to go.

Kat is in the middle of finals for her first trimester. After tomorrow, she will no longer be a Pocatello Indian. On Monday she will be a Century Diamondback. I really hope this change is good for her. She seems to be taking school more seriously nowadays. That's a good thing.

Sammee is sick. Her throat is closed up, and she has no voice at all. She went to the doctor today (surprise), and they don't know what is wrong, but it is not strep or mono. Mom took her a care grocery bag of pudding, Jell-O, mashed potatoes, soup, and a bunch of other stuff that just slides down the gullet. I sure hope she is better by Thursday.

So these are my emotions, and welcome to them. I will be okay, grateful, and humbled by the love around me. Always.

Oh, the Trials and Tribulations!

2011-11-18T19:25:00.000-08:00

So here is my story from yesterday. I was taking Kat and her friend, Jasmine, to Jasmine's house. I had a staff appreciation dinner, and Jasmine's mom said Kat could spend the night so I could feel free to hang out with my friends from work. We stopped at a convenience store near the house to get the girls some sodas. I ran in, and when I came out, steam and antifreeze were spewing from the hood and grill of the Jeep. My radiator blew. Put enough water in to drive it home, then transferred to Tori's Tempo. Not really sure if I need a new radiator or not, but rolling with that scenario. So my poor Jeeper Creeper sits in the driveway, sad because he cannot drive around Poky. And Boyde, the Tempo, is happy because he is once again roaming Pocatello. Regardless of what the repairs will be, I have to save up before I can do anything. Oh, well, the life of a single mom.

In other news, my week on FaceBook has been unusual. At least for me. On Tuesday, posted a random status update. I received comments from a college friend and a high school friend. On and on it went, and suddenly the two of them are now FB friends. Last night posted about the Jeep. My best friend here in town and a friend from San Francisco (I have actually never met him. He is the partner of one of my best friends from college) started chatting while commenting on my post, and are now FB friends. And, the college friend (the one from Tuesday) joined in, and is now friends with both. So, if you are my FB friend, and want to find a new unknown friend, comment on one of my status updates. Chances are, you will befriend one of my other friends.

I just love how funny and unpredictable the world is. And, I love that people can connect through the internet who have never even met. I love my life, I love my friends, and I love their friends!

Tourney, Day 2

2011-11-13T19:23:00.000-08:00

So, Kat had day 2 of the Junior/Adult tournament. Both Mom and Dad came again. my dad just cracks me up. He and Kat verbally jab at each other constantly, but it is totally in love, and they giggle a lot while poking. Dad liked saying things like, "Nine? Nine? Why can't you knock down 10 pins at once?" And the response? "Shut up, grampa!" Giggle, giggle. They even made up a high five thingy. High five, low five, fist bump, fireworks. Silly family.

So on to the important stuff. Last night Kat didn't know anyone on her lane. This afternoon she got to bowl with her friend Tyler and his grandpa Gene. Gene is a friend of my parents, and Kat has been bowling with Tyler since she started bowling. made for a fun afternoon. And now for the scores. Kat: 138, 152, 146. Larry: 198, 255, and 256.

Kat has this new thing that has happened 3 times in the past 2 days. On the last frame of the last game she would pick up the spare, then throw a strike. She did this on the last game of league play, the last game last night, and the second game today. On the last frame of the last game today she struck out. Yes folks, that means 3 strikes in the 10th frame. And, my father said, "That's how we do it!" Kat's biggest fan.

So this is how I spend my weekends, folks. I love this part of my life. Watching my child so something that she loves and has a passion for is the end all, beat all of parenthood. All of my girls' passions thrill me, but Kat's is so different from Sammee and Tori's that it is more special.

So bring on the spares, strikes, and gutter balls! Saturdays are awesome!

I Love Bowling Tournaments!

2011-11-12T19:08:00.001-08:00

Just got home from Kat's first squad of the Junior/Adult Bowling Tournament. It was citywide, so we got to see a bunch of people that we only see at city tournaments. Of course, Kat's coach was there, but he bowled at the other end of the lanes. Kat had quite a fan club there. Me, her friends Cora, Ebony, and Jasmine, and Mom and Dad even came. She ended up on Lanes 1 and 2, which kind of tilt at Tough Guy Lanes.

Her partner, my co-worker Larry, was very nice and met the folks. They both bowled very well. Kat bowled 141, 138, and 151. Larry bowled 161, 203, and 202, I think. Kat's average is currently 132. So, not too shabby. They both had fun, and had the best scores on their lane.

Also, there was a little girl named Mazee who was in her first year bowling without bumpers. She beat her dad in at least one game, and did the cutest little dance when she picked up a spare. I love watching little kids bowl!

One more thing. My friend Holly's son, Jayden, who is in 6th grade, bowled a 189 game which included 5 strikes in a row. Can you say excited kid? And, his average is 128.

So, tomorrow we will be back for another squad at 1:00 pm. I will update the scores later tomorrow. I don't know if there are any actual awards like trophies or medals or anything, but it is quite fun to do.

Laters!

Life Lessons

2011-11-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

So, I have an unexpected day off from work. No, I didn't get laid off. Veteran's Day is a paid holiday for one of the unions, so the Project Managers closed the jobsite for the day. Unfortunately, it is not a paid holiday for me. But, I shall revel in the quiet, and the chance to rest, and do a few things that I don't get to normally do during the week. Working 7-5:30 5 days a week makes it hard to take care of business at places that are open from 8-5. I think I'm going to lunch with my friend Bobi, stopping by church for a bit, and basically puttering. It's a good thing that I don't have to work today. Tomorrow I will probably just live at the bowling alley. Kat has regular league bowling at 11, then a Junior/Adult tournament at 5. One of my co-workers is bowling with her. They are both excited for this.

So, for right now, I am not able to work overtime. I have worked overtime since I started this job in August 2010. It is a huge financial hit, but instead of freaking out, I am strategizing, thinking, budgeting, and pretty much okay with it. This is only temporary, and as soon as the customer gives the okay, life will go back to normal. Whatever that is. Christmas may be sparse this year, but for my family it's not about the presents, it's about family. Especially this year with Tori being in Portland. By the way, she will be home in a month!!! WOOT!!!!

In other news, since Kat's IEP (Individual Education Plan) was cancelled last November for her dyslexia, she has struggled a lot with her classes. Unfortunately, most of her teachers think she is cured. You know, because her dyslexia is like the flu. Maybe a little more like diabetes. Anyway, we have been fretting a bit, because the State of Idaho requires her to pass standardized tests to graduate. Thank you, No Child Left Behind (I won't expand on my thoughts on this, that is a rant for another time). Right now, she can't pass without accommodations due to her dyslexia. I was told that she can take a path to get an "Alternate Diploma." Basically a patronizing pat on the head to say, "you tried your best, and this is not a real diploma, but it's close." I found out last night that Idaho has no Alternate Diploma. The School district is required to offer a student that will not pass the ISATS an alternate path to prove that they have mastered the skills necessary to graduate. If they pass the alternate path, they get a diploma. A REAL diploma. *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!* I am still going to try to get her help to pass the ISATS, but it's nice to know that she can still graduate.

So that's my update for now. continue to pray for my finances, for Tori to find a job, for Kat to do well in school, and for Sammee to graduate in May. Thank you all for reading my blog and for supporting me. And a special thank you to all the people who have served and are still serving our country. Your sacrifice is what keeps us free!

The Not So Weekly Update

2011-11-06T17:56:00.000-08:00

So once again I am a blog slacker. Last weekend ended up being full of phone calls and updates from Tori regarding her grandparents' visit to Portland. Then my standard week happened. 10 hour work days, homework with Kat at night, and bowling on Saturday. Which leads us back to Sunday. Oh yeah, that's today. Today was laundry. That's about it.

So here is the latest Wortham news. Kat is doing a Junior/Adult tournament next weekend here in Poky. She really wanted me to bowl with her, but that would have been very bad. One of my co-workers, Larry, bowls on at least 3 leagues here in town, and jumped at the chance to bowl with Kat. This should be a lot of fun. They bowl at 5 pm on Saturday and 1 pm on Sunday.

Tori is definitely going to Denver for Thanksgiving. I am very excited for her on this journey. First, she has only flown twice, and both times with Sammee. I should write a note for the person who sits next to her, telling them that she is a nervous person, but is very sweet and might just need her hand held. Just kidding, she will be fine. And, she will get to see her Aunt CoCo while she is there, and maybe even her Granny Byrd. It was very generous of her dad and his wife to extend this invitation. I can hardly wait to hear the adventures.

Speaking of Tori, she will be coming home one month from Tuesday! YAY! Pocatello sure has been quieter and less random without her. No one else has random dance parties in the frozen food section of Fred Meyer. I may have to force her to hold a dance party or maybe even organize a flash mob while she's home. and, she will be home for a whole month!

And, my jobsite is probably closing down completely the week between Christmas and New Year's. Less money in my pocket, but more time with my girls and parents. WOOT!

So that is my sorta weekly update. I will post more after Kat's tourney next weekend. The way she bowls and her passion for the sport, who knows, maybe she will go pro and be the child who takes care of her mom in her old age. Hah!

Another Week in the Books

2011-10-22T16:13:00.000-07:00

So we have had a rather uneventful week. Still juggling finances, but getting better slowly but surely. Within a few weeks all should be better.

Kat's average in bowling is currently 131, which is 30 pins better than last season. She will transfer to Century High School just in time to be on Century's bowling team. She just adores Century's bowling coach. And, he's a good coach. I hope her move to Century is good for her.

Tori is doing very well at school and loves her classes. She has started a video blog, and I just love all of her updates. She has also started selling her crocheted items to earn extra money, and has people interested in learning to crochet, so she may start teaching for a fee. Maybe she isn't supposed to have a traditional job, but earn money doing what she loves. Still such a proud mama. Mom and dad are leaving on Monday for Portland for an antique show. They will check in on Tori while the are there and take her some stuff she needs.

Sammee closed ISU's Fall play last weekend. Right now she is helping with a Haunted Asylum put on by a local theatre. It's funny, she doesn't like scary stuff, but loves scaring others. And when the ISU Theatre department puts on a Haunted house for Halloween, it is some of the scariest stuff I have seen. And these kids love getting ugly and gory and being creepy. And drama geeks set a theme and make it as spooky as possible. And, all the money goes to scholarships. If you are local and want to go, hunt me down and I will give you directions to OTAS in Old Town.

Work is still going well. Nothing new on that front. Working 50 hours a week. Keeping busy. Still love the people I work with.

So that is the weekly update. I think these are starting to sound the same. Trying to decide if I should wait to post again only if something interesting happens. But, if I do that, there will be some sort of drama. I don't want drama.

Weekly update

2011-10-16T07:44:00.000-07:00

So this week has been relatively uneventful. Getting back on track financially, Kat's slogging through school, and Tori is still jobless but doing well.

Tori and I had a nice, long telephone chat last night. She caught me up on the happenings in her life, how classes are going, etc. She has actually started selling her hats (YAY) and other crafty things. She is getting involved in student government, and even found a community choir that she can join in January.

She told me one thing that I am still processing. Her dad and stepmother have contacted her and even sent her a care package. They are Facebook friends, and communicate regularly. I am happy that my ex has finally realized what he has been missing all these years, but I hope Tori keeps her guard up also. There have been some mean things said about me in the past, and I just hope that they are trying to form a relationship with her honestly. I know, I should be happy, but I have no choice but to be skeptical and a bit wary. But, Tori has a good head on her shoulders, and I trust her to make the right decisions.

Today she is trying out a new church, which is right by her apartment. Hope she finds a church family soon.

Well, I'm gearing up for another busy week at work. Mom will be home from Nampa tomorrow, so transportation for Kat won't be an issue for a while. And, Mom and Dad will go to Portland at the end of the month. Gotta get some stuff together to send to Tori with them.

So that's my story for this week.

Quick Update

2011-10-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

So there have been a couple of new things that happened since the trial on Wednesday. One thing I forgot to mention is that it was stated in the petition that if I fought the lawsuit I would have to pay all attorney fees and court costs. That worried me, but I figured if I had to pay it, it would be at $5.00 per month. Not gonna go into debt or get behind on bills just because of my ex's stupid attorney. Got all of the legal paperwork in the mail on Thursday, and, at the bottom, just above the judge's signature, was this sentence. "Each party will be responsible for their own fees and expenses related to this case." Which means, simply, that he has to pay his attorney, all court costs, and his airfare to come down here. I paid a total of $58 to file the answer. Any time I missed at work I made up by going in early and staying late. I may have lost my case, but I feel like a winner (not Charlie Sheen winning) in this matter.

And, I have reworked my budget, and I really don't need that money. This week will be rough because Tori needed money for her new apartment and now I am completely strapped until Friday. But, next week's budget is in the books, and Kat and I are getting set to tighten our belts a little and make it work. And the raise won't hurt. It will cover about half of what was lost in child support.

So I am doing better, with no hard feelings or bitterness. No more angst about money. Feeling a lot less stressed about life. Now to concentrate on getting Kat through high school. Oy!

It's Over!

2011-10-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

I will start out by apologizing in advance. This post may ramble, jump around, and be generally babbling. But, i am just going to spew my feelings tonight.

My lawsuit is done. And, I lost. My Child Support case has been cancelled. But, it's over. I can get back to normal (whatever counts as normal in my household). Here's what happened.

First of all, my whole defense was that the State required a DNA test to contest paternity, so why hasn't he done that? I even had a letter from Child Support Enforcement stating that.

So we get into court and his attorney questioned me, then questioned him (yes, he was there). The attorney got a few things wrong though. He claimed that at one time I claimed that Kat was his child. I did rebut that. Then a couple more things, and the judge made his ruling strictly based on what we said. The one good thing is that the attorney wanted me to repay all child support paid since the petition was filed, which was May. The judge denied that motion. I am not liable for any child support he has paid for Kat over the last 12+ years. Whew. I am just glad that it is over. I no longer have to deal with him in any capacity.

My only worry right now is that my income just decreased by over $400 per month. I have 2 kids in college, and one in braces, which the child support was paying for. Luckily for me, I have a good job, and, got a raise today. Which had very little to do with court. I guess it had been in the works for a couple of weeks.

So I survived a trial, seeing my ex for the first time in 15 years, and a financial downfall. And I will be okay. Sammee will be okay. Tori will be okay. And even Kat will be okay.

I haven't even really cried today. I haven't really cried for a long time. Not because I'm tough, but because I won't let myself. Maybe this weekend I will rent one of my favorite crying movies and just let go. Yeah, an evening with Terms of Endearment or Steel Magnolias might be the best prescription for me. In the meantime, I shall be Super Mom, Super Time Nazi, and Super Andrea.

If you have any questions, either Facebook me or toss me an email. wortandr@gmail.com. I'm sure I left something out.

Until next time.

Court

2011-10-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

So we go to trial on Wednesday, October 5. Not sure what to expect. I have only been to court once before, and that was my divorce hearing 15 years ago. No lawyers involved. And, my ex didn't even show up. So here's what I know.

I found lots of evidence to help my case. But, my ex's attorney is trying to sway it his way. Gotta work on that. I will have one more piece of evidence and hopefully it will help. Fingers crossed and prayers appreciated.

I guess Mom will be back in time for the trial. That will help my nerves a lot. Plus, I think my friend Karl will be there also. Simply moral support from both of them. Very much needed. I will post the outcome on Wednesday evening. I just hope the trial isn't too long. I hate being away from work.

Now on to Tori. She had a great first week of school. She seems to love her classes, and is meeting people. On Monday, she has 2 job interviews. Both on campus. One work study job and one job-job. Hopefully she can work both of them if offered the jobs. And, she found a different apartment closer to school. Hope she gets it and can get moved.

Okay, that's my story so far. The end of the law suit story on Wednesday.

Court update

2011-09-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

So here's what I know. Had a pre-trial hearing today. Bad news: my ex's attorney used all of my evidence to his advantage. The good news: we are going to trial next Wednesday, October 5. Bad news: Mon and Dad will still be travelling from Texas and won't be there. Good news: I have lots of friends who are going to support me.

At this point, I don't know if my ex will even show up for the trial next week. Also, I'm not an attorney, and have no idea how to proceed. I'm sure I will be fine once I get over my angst. I just need to breathe and pray. And remain calm. I guess that I need to prepare some statements.

On another note, Tori had an awesome first day of college! She loved her first class, and got to draw! Lots! She had a job interview this afternoon that didn't go too well. That just means that it was the wrong job. On Wednesday, she has a job interview at a daycare to work with toddlers. Anyone who knows her knows that she loves toddlers! She was the leader of the crawler/toddler room at church, and always had funny stories about what the kids would do.

So, pray for me for next Wednesday, and pray for Tori for this Wednesday. Wednesday prayer day!

The Week That Was

2011-09-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

I had a long week. Got home Sunday night around 6:30. Then worked 50 hours this week. It was a rough week. Tori was my backup transportation for Kat whenever Mom is out of town. Well, Mom is in Texas right now, so I had to find alternate transportation for Kat. That has become a challenge. Luckily, I have a wonderful friend, Bobi, who has stepped up and offered her a ride whenever Mom is gone. But, this week was rough anyway.

Tori is adjusting to Portland just fine. She has toured Oregon City numerous times and found many cute shops. She has found a yarn shop (go figure), and goes to knitting group on Thursday evenings. She also found a hat shop, and is looking at crocheting hats to possibly sell. She has a job interview on Monday at a bar & grill to wait tables. Good luck to her. A job is just what she needs. She also starts classes on Monday. That will make it easier for her to make friends and get connected to people. My friend, Noel, has appointed herself "Auntie Noel" and is taking care of the girl. She brought her some furniture today, and will bring more next weekend. Tori also has a high school friend, Kyle Hamm, who attends the University of Portland, to lean on. She seems very happy and excited about this new adventure in her life. I miss her, but between Facebook and cell phone, it's like she is just down the street.

On Monday, I have a pre-trial hearing for the child support law suit. I think I am ready for this. Hopefully the judge will see my point. But, who knows. So feel free to pray at 10:30 MDT on Monday morning.

I will post an update on Monday. That is all for now.

Tori's Excellent Adventure

2011-09-18T19:59:00.000-07:00

Just got home from Portland. Took Tori to college. Left my baby alone in a really big city. To fend for herself. I have been formulating this blog on the 11 hour drive home today. Now, the words escape me.

Let's start with a short recap of the weekend. We left Pocatello at around 4 pm on Thursday. Tears and sniffling as she said goodbye to Kirk, her boyfriend. Started out, and drove. And drove. And drove. Stopped in Boise to have dinner with Tori's former youth leader, Jessa. Then we drove. And drove. And drove. Finally petered out around midnight in Baker City. Found out on Friday that Baker City was exactly halfway. Headed out Friday morning, after finding Tori the worst mocha of her life. And drove. And drove. And drove.Took a wrong turn in The Dalles for our lunch stop, and ended up in Washington for a minute. But, Tori got nice pics of the bridge we crossed. Got into Portland around 2 pm. Headed straight to Marylhurst for a look-see. Got a tour from a nice lady named Laura. She said at one point, "Going to Marylhurst is like getting a big hug." Tori loved that statement. Beautiful campus. Checked on her financial aid, registration, text books, and got her student ID. She has new student orientation next Thursday. Oh, yeah, checked out the bookstore too. She got a good mocha, and I got a hoodie for me, one for Sammee, and a water bottle for Kat. Luckily, I can log onto the website and order more merchandise. Plus, I have a close friend who can get more stuff too.
:-)

Next stop was her apartment. Very small, but actually Tori sized. The largest room is the kitchen. She signed the lease and we unloaded the Jeep. Her landlord is a nice, single dad. He seems to work out of his home, and seemed like he would protect her. Then a quick tour of Oregon City, which is like Pocatello in the middle of the Portland metro area. Quaint shops, cute restaurants, old houses. Finally went to the hotel to collapse for the night.

Saturday we started the day by going to Washington (this time on purpose) to visit my friend Noel. She has a loveseat for Tori, gave her some dishes and stuff, sheets, and has a full bedroom set. She will be visiting Tori later this week to deliver and help her set stuff up. Tori even left with a jar of homemade salsa, raspberry jam, and blackberry jam. Then we ran around town. We found a Goodwill Superstore (no, really) in downtown Portland, but got distracted by a Flea Market a few blocks down. We browsed! for a few, but had to meet a "co-worker" Ann for lunch at the Clackamas Mall, and were late. The following is the exchange of all parties involved:

Kat: C'mon, Tori!
Tori: I'm coming
Old Scottish vendor with heavy brogue: Take your time, lassie! That'll piss 'em off! You're your own person!

We laughed about that all the way to the car. Tori loves the variety of people in downtown.

So, after getting lost numerous times, got the the mall, and had a lovely lunch with Ann from the payroll department of JH Kelly. Did I ever mention that I love that woman? And to meet her in person was awesome!

After lunch we did some thrift store shopping, went to Costco to print pictures for Tori, and wandered aimlessly. Sometimes getting lost is the only way to really experience a city. Then back to the apartment, unpacked, and collapsed. She won't have much furniture for about a week, but then she may have too much stuff for that little, cute space.

Kat and I hit the road at around 5 am today. We kept our stops short but frequent (my back really hates me right now), and got home around 6:30 tonight. Meanwhile, Tori went to church, got mistaken for a 12 year old, and toured the town. She went to a coffee shop and met a barista who attends Marylhurst. She found a yarn shop (I know, it could be bad) and the ladies who own it live across the street from Marylhurst. She is joining a Thursday night knitting group there. And she even hung out with a friend from high school, who goes to University of Portland, today.

So, long story short (I know, too late), Tori is fending for herself, and, surprisingly (not really), making friends. And connections. Just talked to her on the phone, and she sounded good. She is grown up. And, with her personality, she won't know what to do with all of the friends she makes. Added bonus. The boyfriend, Kirk, will be moving to Eugene, OR this week to attend the University of Oregon. Eugene is only 2 hours away. That helps.

So, Mom's okay. Kat's okay. Not sure about Sammee. Haven't talked to her much this weekend. I think Tori will be okay. God has placed her in the perfect area of Portland to live, at the perfect school, and with some perfect people surrounding her. She has even found a coffee shop that is "almost" as good as Co Ho. Life is good. And life goes on. Looking forward to hearing about Tori's Excellent Adventure.

APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-09-11T21:11:00.000-07:00

She has an apartment! *Breathing a heavy sigh of relief!* It is unfurnished, but we will make sure that she can at least have a bed before we leave Portland. Last step in the whole moving process: a job. I will take her job hunting while we are there, even though it will be a short time. It's all falling into place. In the immortal words of my dear friend, Bill McCready, "God is good. The rest are just details." Plus, I have had friends coming out of the woodwork offering to be Aunties and Uncles, getting her a home cooked meal, a ride in an emergency, or just a hug when she misses her mommy.

In other news, I have suddenly become emotional over this move. It hit me today at church. The only reason I can come up with is that it's the 10th anniversary of 9/11, and in general an emotional day. I just started thinking that it was her last Sunday at church here. And then it happened. I teared up. Over and over. I would stop and then start up again. Not a good thing. I know it sounds weird, but I feel like I have to be the strong one. I know, I'm the mom, and it's okay to cry. But, if I cry, everyone will cry. I'm crying just thinking about it. If I keep strong, then Tori will have an easier transition. If I break down, she will. I know that this is what is best for her and her future career, but my baby is moving so far away.

So enough of the boo-hoo mommy stuff. She is grown and she will come home to visit. She can fend for herself and, guess what? I did it. Moved 1000 miles away from my family. Went to college in Missouri. Then moved to Denver. Yes, I ended up back in Pocatello, but I will go elsewhere to pursue my career in a few years. After Kat graduates. But, that will be a different crying post.

I will keep you posted on our travels this week. Pray for safe travels, and a smooth transition for all of us.

SEPTEMBER!

2011-09-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

So I thought my life couldn't get any busier. Summer was a whirlwind of birthdays, Mom and Dad popping in and out of town, Sammee popping in and out of town, girls moving, Driver's Ed, Sammee turning 21. So much stuff in 3 short months. Now, here's September. Sammee started her senior year of college. Kat started her sophomore year of high school. My job got extended until February-ish. And, now, in 9 short days, I will take Tori to Portland to start college. Back in May when she got accepted to Marylhurst, September seemed like it was so far away. Now, it's here. She quit her job at the Popcorn Shop, which she has had since she was 14. She is packing her stuff and apartment hunting in Portland.She had her final exhibit at the local Art Walk last Friday. I have a lunch date with the head of payroll for JH Kelly while we are in Portland. THIS IS REAL, PEOPLE! My baby girl is moving away. My oldest girl will move to NYC in a year.

Now, I can look at this a number of ways. My children are leaving me all alone (well, except for Kat). My babies don't need me anymore (totally false). Or, Wow! Look what I did! I have created 2 adults who are going out in the world to do something and be somebody! It's not about if they become famous (but that would be nice), it's about how many lives they touch in the process. And, my girls (all 3 of them) touch lives each and every day.

Just tonight, I was having coffee with my friend Bobi, and this guy came in. He said hi to me, with this look on his face like "I think I know her." Later, he came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, but how do I know you?" I said, "I'm Sammee's mom." "Oh, my Gosh! I just love Sammee! She makes me smile all the time!" What does that do to a mom? Makes my heart swell with pride!

So, if you forget my name, and only remember me as "Sammee, Tori, or Kat's Mom," that's okay. That's pretty much who I am. And that means that I have done something right as a parent. If you remember my girls and associate me with them (in a good way, I hope), that's all right with me.

Weekly update time! (I think)

2011-08-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

So I think it's been about a week since I updated my life. So here we go.

Tori turned 19 on Monday. I am still amazed every day how grown up my girls are. I still remember taking them all to first grade and tearing up at what big girls they were then. Then I remember that in only 2 1/2 years, I will have 3 adult children! Am I really that old? Wow!

Along with Tori's birthday, we had a "Tori's going to college" party yesterday. Turn out was good, and everyone gave her well wishes and happy thoughts. Plus, our friends have lots of Portland connections. When they found out that Tori didn't have an apartment yet, relatives of friends started pouring out of the woodwork. Phone calls are being made, emails are being sent, and these relatives of friends will probably find her somewhere to live before we leave next month.

Kat is preparing for her sophomore year of high school. We will register her on Thursday and pay all of the fees associated with her "free public education." I did the math, and it will be close to $150 just for activity card, yearbook, and class fees. Right now I don't know if she will be taking any classes that will require the participation fee, starting at $95. I just hope this year is better for her than last year was. But, since she did so well in Driver's Ed (97% average grade), she is motivated to do well in school. Here's hoping. Also, signed her up for bowling yesterday. We start on September 10, and then she will miss the next week, because we will be in Portland crying.

Sammee will start her final year of college tomorrow. Really? She will graduate from college in 9 months? Really? Do all parents go through this? The "where did the time go" moments?

And, just so you all know, Tori's last day working at the Popcorn Shop is August 31. So, if you absolutely need amazing popcorn and want to see her, get over there before the end of the month.

I Found It!!

2011-08-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

I have been searching for the past 2 weeks for that one piece of evidence that will potentially make this lawsuit go away. I gave up for a bit out of frustration, but was bored tonight so I Binged it. Found a link to the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare's site to the exact information I needed! Gonna print it tomorrow, and find a way to send it to my ex's lawyer. Hopefully this will put an end to my troubles. We will see. I have the feeling that I will have to wait until next month when we have the pre-trial hearing to find out. And, just in case you were wondering, I'm not disclosing my evidence...yet.

So I will keep you updated on that progress, how I do with Tori moving to Portland, and if Kat's driving has made me crazy yet. No, not yet, but we still have 5 months to go.

Party for Tori next Saturday! We are kind of having a "going to college" shower for her. I am so excited for this. And I hate doing stuff on Saturday! So if you want to send her something let me know. Also we are putting together a book for her to take with her with pictures and little notes from friends and family. Let me know if anyone wants to contribute to that too.

Court Update

2011-08-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

So my hearing was today at 10:00 am. First of all, my ex's attorney was almost an hour late because he was at a hearing at Juvenile court. People watching becomes a whole new sport at the court house in front of the court rooms. The attorney finally shows up, after some nice conversations with my mom and Kathy Nelson, a good friend and Children's Ministry Director at my church. They were my moral support.

The hearing was pretty short. I didn't understand that it was only held to schedule a trial date. Yes, a trial. Now I have to gather evidence, witnesses, create a defense. What am I, on Law & Order? I only have one defense right now, and I have to find documented proof of this defense. But, I have 2 months to find it.

I was fretting about him coming to town for today's hearing? I'm thinking that he will definitely come to town for the trial. And I'm not looking forward to that. But, I am a strong woman, and I will win this thing!

So I must log off for now. I have to surf the World Wide Web for this one piece of evidence. Now you are updated.

I Hate Missing Work

2011-07-31T20:51:00.001-07:00

So tomorrow is my hearing to see if the Child Support will be canceled. I am nervous. Not because of the outcome. Either way I am okay with it. I just don't want to see my ex after 15+ years. I am fretting because I am convinced that he will fly in for the hearing. I am hoping that he will continue with his tradition and not show, but I won't know until I get to court. I also hate the fact that I have to miss work to take care of this nonsense. I know, I am a workaholic. Not really, I am just a loyal employee who tries my best to be at work at all times. If I was a workaholic, I would be at work all the time. I do enjoy my time off.

But I digress. Feel free to pray for me tomorrow at 10:00 am MDT that I will stay calm whatever the circumstance, and accept the judge's decision, whichever way it goes. I will be fine. Sometime after 10:00 tomorrow morning.

Disappointed in Pocatello

2011-07-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

Today in my local paper, the Idaho State Journal, a letter to the editor was published. The author ranted about the downfall of our fair city due to the population of gay people and their refusal to hide. I am paraphrasing here. She actually encouraged the citizens to boycott any business who allowed gay people in, and proposed banning all gay people from Poky. Normally, I do not voice my political views (unless it involves education, see previous rants), but this particular letter really frosted my cookies! And, one of my friends was approached at a local grocery store to sign a petition to "ban" any activity that promotes an alternative lifestyle.

The main reason I am disappointed is that one of my co-workers, a construction worker, commented to me last week, " Pocatello has such a large gay community, and it is so well tolerated here. Especially with how conservative this town is." I agreed with him. Now I look like an idiot to him after this hateful letter.

I studied Theatre in college. I have worked in Theatre. There are lots of gay people in Theatre. I have been around them most of my adult life. I am proud to say that some of my best friends are gay! My daughters have gay friends, and they are some of the best kids I know. And, they all call me "Mom."

Before you throw the Bible at me, I understand the morality of it. But, Jesus said, "Hate the sin, love the sinner." We are to care for everyone, regardless of lifestyle or sins. We are not to judge. We are not to hate. We are not to "run people out of town" to protect our children.

I am not trying to offend ANYONE with this, I just have to speak out to the insanity that the far right is trying to force everyone else to believe. I love my friends, regardless of their religion, race, or sexual orientation! I love my kids' friends, regardless of their religion, race, or sexual orientation.

The Great Commandment: "Love each other, the way your Father, in Heaven, Loves you."

This One Is a Bit Of A Rant

2011-07-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

I am going to preface this by saying that I don't intend to intentionally offend any of my friends, but I have to get this off my chest.

So today was a celebration of sorts in my town. Tomorrow is Pioneer Day. For those who don't know, Pioneer Day celebrates the day that the Mormons landed in the Salt Lake valley in Utah. Monday is a State holiday in Utah, and it's a pretty big deal here in Pocatello. Not surprising because our population is about 50% LDS. There is a parade and activities all over town today.

My problem is with the parade that took place 3 weeks ago. The Pioneer Day parade lasted about an hour (I didn't go, just timed it as it went past my house). Our Independence Day parade lasted all of 14 minutes (taped it, so had it timed). No one participated in the 4th parade, and everyone participated in the Pioneer Day parade. At least we have an Independence Day parade. There were a lot of years that there was nothing on July 4th because everyone was gearing up for Pioneer Day.

So why is it that we have such a small attendance for the birthday of our country's freedom, but such large attendance for a small group of people who moved from New York to Utah in the 1800's? Before anyone gets real ticked off, I am all for freedom of religion. But, is this one religious holiday, for only one religion, really more important than the holiday that gave these people their freedom to worship the way they want?

I am not the only person in Pocatello that feels this way. The local paper's website blew up with comments about how lame the July 4th parade was. Lots of comments were made that citizens need to step up and organize next years parade. I'm in if it actually happens. This town has too many people who are defending this country, or have come home with debilitating injuries and trauma from serving our country to treat Independence Day like just a day for fireworks.

I am offering a challenge to the citizens of Pocatello, ID. If you were disgusted with the content of this year's 4th of July parade, email me at wortandr@gmail.com (I know, that's kind of dangerous, but I'm serious). I have friends who want to make next year's parade last half the day if we can. We have to remember why we have the freedoms that we do, and not take them for granted. Like the freedom of speech, which I am using right now.

Again, this is not an LDS bashing post. Just a post stating my disappointment in Pocatello's pride in our country.

Update Time!

2011-07-22T19:55:00.000-07:00

So here we go.

Lawsuit: I go to Court in a little more than a week. Surprisingly, the only worry I have right now is whether the ex will actually fly down for the hearing. I am going on the basis that he will, so I won't be so shaken up if I walk into the courtroom and there he is. And, if he doesn't show, a pleasant surprise. I am certain that an update will happen on August 1.

Money: I have finally dug myself out of my financial hole. I even have money in savings! And I am still working 50+ hours a week.

Tori: Tori is getting excited about college. She is meeting other students online, looking for a place to live, and talking to her advisor about classes and such. She wants to go up next month to apply for work study jobs, which she has to do in person, and before school starts.

Sammee: Sammee loves her job at Starbucks. And mom likes the free coffee. She leaves on Sunday for Billings. She is going to teach at the Venture Theatre's Drama School for 2 weeks. Last year Theatre School was her favorite part of the summer. Her favorite age group are the "itty bitties." Kindergarten to 3rd grade. Hope she gets to teach them again.

Kat: Kat graduated from Driver's Ed with a 97% average. Now we have 6 months of her on a learner's permit. I think I am getting a grey hair every time she drives. But she is not bad, I'm just nervous. If she dents my Jeep, I'll kill her.

So summer is going well so far. My sister, Jennifer was in town last week from LA. And she brought my almost 2 year old niece, Ava. First off, Ava loves her cousins. We heard all week, "Hi Sammee, Hi Towi, Hi Kat!" She really liked to say hi at dinner time when she didn't want to eat. Oh, she's a character. One night at dinner Dad made peas. Jenn put some in Ava's bowl and she exclaimed, "Oh boy! Green balls!" So, from this point forward, peas will be known as Green Balls. And green beans are now Green bars. I forgot how fun, and tiring, kids are at that age. There is nothing like a hug and sloppy kiss from a 2 year old. And, she can almost say my name. It comes out more like Anna, but it's progress. And Mom is Amma (that's close to gramma) and Dad is Papa. That's what all 3 girls called him at that age.

So that's my story for now. I will post an update in 10 days. In the mean time, pray that God's will be done at this hearing. If I should get child support for the next 3 years, so be it. If my ex gets his way, so be it. But Like I said, God knows what should happen on August 1. Part of the prayer should be for me to be calm and think before I speak.

Thanks.

Ya'll Probably Want an Update

2011-06-25T18:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here's a recap of my last post. Money troubles, yada, yada. Lawsuit, had to answer by June 17, yada yada. Anxiety about Tori moving, yada yada. Sammee's looking for a job, yada yada. Kat in Driver's Ed, yada yada. Yep, time for an update.

So the money issue has gotten better. I have money in savings, and am less stressed. I have a plan so we can afford a laptop for Tori for college, and get her to Portland in September.

I filed a response with the court on June 15. Last Saturday i received notice of a hearing on Monday, August 1. So, here we go. Not sure what to expect at this hearing, but I won't give up without a fight. Since it will be a month before I know anything, I will post then.

I am getting better about Tori going to college in Portland. This is an ongoing thing, so I will keep the anxiety posts coming.

Sammee got a job! She is working at Starbucks. I know, we patronize local coffee shops, but it's a job, and Sammee has been a barista before. The "perk?" (pun intended) She gets a pound of whole bean or ground coffee each week. Momma's gonna be rollin' in Starbucks!

Kat is doing great in Driver's Ed! Yesterday she rocked parallel parking! That is good, because I flunked parallel parking in Driver's Ed. She currently has an 85% average! And, she loves it!

So, that's my update for now. Hopefully more soon.

Down to Only a Drizzle

2011-06-08T20:01:00.000-07:00

So I survived Sunday's tire changing shenanigans. It only took 3 1/2 hours and Sammee's friend Justin, but I have a spare on. I did loosen all of the lug nuts by myself, but I just couldn't get the car jacked up. And, I almost fixed Justin's laptop, so he owed me one.

On the legal front, I picked up the paper work to file my answer yesterday. Now I just need someone to help me fill it out. There is an assistance program at the court house, and I have received numerous names of lawyers to consult. I will have help by the beginning of next week, and will file on time. By next Friday the 17th.

The company I work for was awarded the bid that we were waiting on, so I will be working at least until the end of September YAY!!!!!!! What a weight lifted. Just don't ask my chiropractor if I'm more relaxed.

And, I have overcome the income thing I have relaxed and quit stressing over money.

One last thing. I have been treasurer at my church for 4 years, and as of July 1, I will no longer have that position. It has become more of a burden than a joy in the recent past, so it is time to move to a new ministry. I have been approached to lead a video ministry. Skits, video announcements, promos, etc. Finally, a chance to use my Drama stuff again! WOOT! Love it! So excited!

Time to sign off. Gotta budget so I can start saving so I will feel less tense about my money.

When it Rains, it Pours!

2011-06-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

So let's recap this last week. I'm getting sued by my ex, my expenses outdid my income, and I now have a flat tire. Took Kat driving one last time before driver's ed starts, and while we were in the empty parking lot, she ran over this giant, sharp, piece of plastic, which lodged in my back left tire. It was okay until it flew off. Now I have a gaping, hissing hole in my tire. So I have changed my plans for tomorrow. Instead of going to church and doing laundry, I will be cleaning out the car and changing a tire. Plus, Mom is out of town next week. Kat starts Driver's Ed next week. Tori can take her, but she will be at work when Kat gets out at 1:30. So, that's another thing I have to fit into my week.

I really hope next week is better. Monday I will take the tire to Les Schwab to be repaired (I hope. No money for a new tire). I will also go to the court house to get the papers to answer the lawsuit. I will also be calling attorneys to help me with this nonsense. More money. I also have a bill to pay on Monday, with no money. So, I'm cranky. Oh, yeah, and go to the chiropractor on Monday. And, I'm out of coffee at the house.

I know it will get better, but I think I have had enough of the "It Sucks To Be Me" week. I want happiness, harmony, money (not a lot), and a tire that has air in it.

Week Started Bad. Can It Get Better?

2011-05-31T21:10:00.000-07:00

So I mentioned this lawsuit that my ex has thrown at me. Went to Health and Welfare today to see what Child Support could do. In a word.....nothing. Valid lawsuit. I now have 3 choices.

1. Sit back, do nothing, and see what happens.

2. File a response on my own at the courthouse.

3. Hire a lawyer and try to fight it.

Right now, the one choice that I can afford is #1. But, not an option. I will not sit back and not let my side of the story be told. I really don't care about the money. I just don't want it to appear that I was some money grubbing witch (with a capital B) who didn't care about anyone but me. For those who know me, that's laughable. For those who don't, I tend to think of everyone else before myself. It is actually a character flaw of mine. I will get in a tizzy and overwhelmed trying to do for others, especially my kids and other family. That is where I am right now.

So, if you are so inclined, pray for me to be calm, to think clearly, and to make the right decisions regarding this wonderful lawsuit. And everything else in my life.

Beyond that, I still love my job, and Kat is done with school tomorrow. Until she starts Driver's Ed on Monday. Fair warning my friends.

When It Rains, It Pours

2011-05-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

So, I had an interesting week. Dealt with personal issues, work issues, feeling overwhelmed and overly emotional. I really earned my 3 day weekend. Today was pretty relaxing, at least until 5:00, when I was awakened from my nap by a knock at the door. I was served papers. My ex-husband is suing me over his child support order. For those who don't know the story, a short (hopefully) history.

I have 3 wonderful daughters. Sammee, Tori, and Kat. My ex is Sammee and Tori's dad, but not Kat's. So, after the divorce was finalized, the State of Idaho started proceedings for a child support order. Since the state couldn't find Kat's father, they listed my ex as the legal father, since we were married during the pregnancy. So he was ordered to pay a monthly amount for 3 children.

Fast forward to last May. He realizes that Tori will be turning 18, so he decides that he is going to have the order modified and have Kat removed. It was March before the process was completed. He was ordered to pay the same amount for one child that he was paying for 3. Needless to say, he's not amused.

Quick info bit on the State of Idaho child support laws. If 2 people were married during any part of the pregnancy and the biological father cannot be found, then the other spouse is considered the legal parent and subject to support. the non-custodial parent has 6 months to contest paternity. So, he couldn't get the DNA tests to prove that Kat was not his child, and had to roll with the ruling handed down. But, instead of taking it like a man, he has chosen to sue me directly to get the support order dismissed.

So, I have talked to a couple of people who know a little about civil law (which is a lot more than I do), and he is suing the wrong entity. I had no control over what the state did with my case. On Tuesday I will go to Child Support and show them the papers and see what my next step should be. I am not going to just sit back and let this happen. He has been bitter for 15 years over this stuff, and is just trying to take it out on me. I am a strong person, and won't stand for being dragged through this crap! A friend told me that Legal Aid should help me because it's a family issue, so hopefully I won't have to pay thousands of dollars in legal fees to fight this ridiculous suit.

I am not worried about this frivolity. I am just annoyed that my ex won't let it go away. I know where I stand in this. I have never deceived anyone into thinking Kat was my ex's child. There is a notarized document on file with the state that my ex is not her father. I am also annoyed that his wife has involved herself in this, sending me nasty emails accusing me of basically being a money grubber. Nothing is further from the truth. I don't care about the money. I even offered to send the money back to them.

I will keep you posted on the progress of this lunacy. Hopefully it will all go away one way or the other in a month or so. I really don't have the energy for a long, drawn out process. But, other than that, life is pretty good.

Someday I Will Blog More Often

2011-05-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

So here we are, almost the end of May. Kat only has one full week of school left. I am hoping that she will pass all of her classes. She has had a very rough freshman year. And I think the fact that I have been working an average of 50 hours a week doesn't help. I am a very tired mom. Plus, Tori and Sammee will be moving out of their apartment this weekend. No relaxing 3 day holiday weekend for me.

On another note, right now I am not sure how much longer I will be working. The project is almost finished and should be completely done by the end of June. But, we are waiting to hear on two bids on other areas of the plant. If we are awarded the bids, it could be another 6 months I think. But there will be even more change. Kat wants to transfer to Century High School from Pocatello High School next year. We are signing her up for Driver's Ed next week. That's right, folks, if you live in Poky, stay off the sidewalks this summer. My kid will be driving. Sammee will be starting her senior year of college, and will turn 21 in July. And the biggest change is that Tori will move to Portland, OR to attend college. Very proud of her perseverance in getting into her dream college, but the Mommy heart strings get pulled whenever I think about her being so far away. I think that I will treasure the lunches, shopping trips, and meetings for coffee just to chat, because that will end for a time very soon. I will stop now, because I am getting verklempt.

But, before all of the change in the fall, Tori, Kat and I will take a long weekend trip to Kansas City in August. I know, why the heck would anyone voluntarily go to the Midwest in August? No, it's not some sort of weird sweating diet. The former Department head of the Theatre Department of my college will be in town for some reason, and we have scheduled a mini reunion. I haven't seen these people in over 20 years, and am so excited to go! Right now I don't have money for plane tickets, but I still have 3 months until we fly. I can save it up!

So, I will try to post more often, as long as I have time. I think you all will know when I am unemployed because I will suddenly have time to post more often.

A Good Cause

2011-04-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

I just got home from an amazing fundraiser. My daughter, Tori, and a bunch of her friends set up an afternoon/evening of music, art, and raffle prizes to raise money for Invisible Children. For those of you who don't know, Invisible Children is an organization founded in 2003 by a group of people who went to Uganda on a mission trip. They learned about a man named Joseph Kony who led the Lord's Resistance Army, intended to overthrow the Ugandan government. To man his army, he would invade villages and abduct the children to become soldiers. The group of missionaries were outraged and created a documentary called "Invisible Children The Rough Cut."

The cause has grown immensely over the past 8 years, due mostly in part by "roadies" who are volunteers who travel the country telling the stories of the Invisible Children and the horrors of Uganda. Tori has a passion for this organization, and will probably end up doing a tour as a roadie someday soon.

Next Monday, April 25, Tori will be participating in 25. This is a fundraising effort in which participants will remain silent for 25 hours. Now, I love my daughter, but Tori even talks in her sleep, so this will be a huge challenge for her.

So back to the fundraiser. Tori worked her hiney off (not that there was much there to begin with) getting donations for the raffle. And, today, for 5 hours, at Co Ho coffee house, these kids sang, drew names, told jokes, and sold cookies, caricatures, and hand made crafty stuff to help these people across the world from them. Tori is a fundraising animal. By about 8 pm she was completely drained, but kept pushing for donations. There were actually more raffle prizes than people. Tori started selling prizes for a dollar each. By 7:30 these kids raised $568.00. Really? I am so proud of all the college age kids who have a passion for this cause!

As a mom, I have tried to teach my girls to give back, regardless of income level. And my girls surprise me all the time with their generosity and selfless giving to others.

To find out more and contribute to Tori or Sammee for the 25 fundraiser, go to http://www2.invisiblechildren.com/. Thanks for your support, and thanks to Tori and her friends for having a passion for this cause.

More Tidbits

2011-04-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

So the past couple of weeks have been pretty much non-eventful. Work, bowling on Saturdays, chasing kids, balancing the checkbook. Last weekend Kat and I went to Boise for State bowling. Her 4 person team took 3rd (WOOT!), and she bowled very well in doubles and singles. It was kind of bittersweet though. Up until about last year the annual trip to Boise was a family affair. This year it was only me and Kat. It was nice to have time alone with her, but it reminded me that my girls are growing up and becoming independent adults. No matter how many times I remind myself of this, they are still my little girls.

On another note, Tori, Kat and I went to see Sammee in yet another play tonight. Are you ready? "Cannibal the Musical." Written by Trey Parker (South Park), it is the irreverent, probably totally false, story of Alfred Parker, the first person ever convicted of cannibalism. If you don't know the story, he and 4 colleagues left Utah to go to Breckenridge, CO to search for gold. Packer was the only one who made it out of the Rocky Mountains. He is pretty infamous in Colorado. The U of C in Boulder has Alfred Packer day every year. A celebration of this person who ate his colleagues (ew) to survive the Colorado mountains through the winter. I just love it when local theatre is willing to perform something that could (will) offend some people. In this case, there are Mormon jokes throughout the play. It is also supposed to be badly acted, sung, and danced. It was cheesy, blasphemous, and kind of gory. They even had a "splatter zone," complete with rain ponchos to protect clothing. The funny thing is, by the time the girls and I entered the theatre, the splatter zone was full. All in all, a fun evening, and the actors did a wonderful job and really enjoyed themselves. Makes me want to fly to NYC and see "The Book of Mormon, the Musical" on Broadway. Also written by Trey Parker. I love unusual theatre.

So that's about it for now. Updates on Tori's college application process as they occur.

Another Year

2011-04-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

So I am reflecting on the past year. Last year at this time I had given my notice at Funk Farms, Kat had moved in with my parents so she could pass 8th grade. Tori was frantically trying to graduate (like she needed to worry), and Sammee was trying to decide where to do summer theatre. Also, my gramma, Shorty, passed away 2 weeks after my birthday. This year, I love my job (even though it will end in a couple of months), Tori is putting down deposits on colleges for tuition, Kat is at home and doing much better in high school, and I'm not sure what Sammee's plans are for the summer. But, I am financially secure (for the most part).

So where is this going? I'm really not sure. I just kind of got reflective tonight. I realized that after my job on the construction site is over, I will never find a job in Pocatello that will pay me what I am making right now. I don't know what will happen this summer, but I know God knows what's up.

And, speaking of God, our church, good ole FBCPoky, might actually have a new Senior Pastor soon. We have a pastor coming this week to candidate. He will preach tomorrow and April 10. After over a year of transition, some change will be nice. I will be in Boise next weekend, so I won't know the outcome of the congregational vote until I get home, but it looks good. Lots of excitement right now.

So, I become another year older, my life continues to move forward, and so do the lives of everyone around me. The past 12 months were a huge step forward for me. I still love my life, my job, my girls, my family, and my friends. I wonder what will happen in the next 12 months?

WOW! where has the year gone?

2011-03-26T20:20:00.000-07:00

Is it really the end of March? School will be out in 2 months, then summer. At the end of summer, Tori will be going away to school. Not sure where yet. Either So Cal, Denver, or Boise. Next week I turn 44. In one year Sammee will graduate from college. Life moves pretty quickly. So here is my update.

The church I attend, and am in leadership owns 17 acres of land to build a new facility someday. We have 2 more annual payments to make, but contributions have dwindled in the past couple of years. A deal was made with the seller to take back 5 acres and whatever money we can raise by May, and the land will be paid off. Tomorrow our church family will vote on this measure, plus a motion to sell the remainder of the land. Tough day tomorrow.

We also lost our Senior Pastor last February. He and his family got called to a church in Nevada. The first 2 weekends in April we will have a candidate for Senior Pastor come to our church, with the vote on April 10. Unfortunately, I will be in Boise that weekend. At least I do get to hear him preach.

The only thing I have to look forward to (besides each and every day), is the first weekend in August. Some of the girls (at least Kat, and hopefully Tori and Sammee) will be going to Kansas City for a mini college Theatre Department reunion. The former head of our department will be in KC that weekend. Kat is very excited to go, Tori is hoping that she can get the time off of work to go, and Sammee doesn't know what she is doing for summer yet. I can hardly wait for my girls to meet as many of my friends as possible.

In other news, my dumb (but lovable) 50 pound dog decided that she needed to stand on me to give me kisses this morning. Unfortunately, my laptop was on my lap at the time. I no longer have an "H" key. Makes typing fun. And, no, I can't find the key. I just saw it flying through the air. It's probably in the couch cushions with assorted change, crumbs, and various remote controls. I ordered a new keyboard within an hour. And, I never noticed how many H's I use, or how many H's are in words. Sheesh!

So that is my boring life for now. More posts as Tori's college situation unfolds and Kat competes at State bowling.

Wow! I Could Slack More!

2011-03-12T21:35:00.000-08:00

Okay, so somehow I ran out of hours in the day to blog. Quick recap.

Tori is working 2 jobs trying to save up for college next fall. She and Sammee have an apartment in Old Town. Sammee won't stop doing Theatre. Maybe this summer she will get paid to do it again. Kat started high school. Her freshman year is turning out to be rough, but she is bouncing back well. I have a great job (temporary)! I love what I am doing, and I love the people I work with. The thing is, I work at least 50 hours a week.

I am also still doing ministry at good old FBC Poky. That area is a touchy one. Since our senior pastor left last March, things have been in limbo. We are looking at getting a new pastor within a few months, but things are kind of tense right now. We have had quite a few people leave the church, some of them leaders. And I'm stuck in the middle. I'm just trying to do the job that God placed me to do, and it is getting difficult to do. Frustrated is the best word to describe it. I know it will get better, but right now it could give me an ulcer. I shall muddle through and stand my ground.

Sometimes I wish life could be easy, peesy, lemon squeezy. But I live in the real world. The world of unexpected expenses, saving for a rainy day then getting a monsoon, planning the day and then having to scrap all plans. I still have lots of joy in what I do, and I still love my kids, even though they make me nuts sometimes.

So, basically, life is good, regardless of the twists and ridiculous stuff that occurs. I am pretty much still happy. I have other issues with my ex and his wife, but that is all for now.

Can I Be More of a Slacker??!!??

2010-09-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

I have decided to try to blog at least once a week. A lot has happened recently. I still love my job. Kat got braces on Thursday. She has been bugging me for years, and i finally relented. We thought Medicaid would pay for it, but they have a policy of a certain severity of the teeth before they will pay. So, I now have an added expense, but I can handle it. I already have the budget reworked. I have also almost completely caught up on the past due bills from my unemployment.

On another note, Tori is working on getting her driver's license, and looking for a car. I sometimes marvel at her responsibility. She has been planning this for a long time, and had all of her ducks in a row. However, she had not anticipated her grandmother. Mom is helping her out with the car, so she insisted on having the car checked out. Tori called our friend Tait, who found some things that concerned him. So now he has a friend who is an actual mechanic who needs to look it over, and I have to CarFax the VIN. But, Tori is being patient. God love her.

Sammee has been cast in the first play and the musical at ISU. She is playing the drunk actress in "You Can't Take it With You." (I hope it's not typecasting), and as Texas in "Cabaret." Looks like I will be going to the theatre a bit this fall. She is doing well in school so far, and Kat loves high school.

Well, that's about it for this week. Maybe next week I will have more exciting stuff to report.

I Am Employed! (at least for now)

2010-08-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

This will be a quick post, but an important one. School starts this week for Kat, Tori has 2 jobs, Sammee started her 3rd year of college, both Sammee and Tori got their own apartment, and.....I am working!!!!! I have a long term temp position with the head construction company that is building the Hoku plant. Downside, I am working 5 10 hour shifts. Upside, I am working 5 10 hour shifts! Hoku wants the plant finished and operable by the end of the year, so construction has picked up. The company needs someone to keep track of construction hours and get paychecks out to the construction workers on time. Hence my job.

I love my job. For the first time since leaving ON Semiconductor, I feel like I fit in (except for my handwriting, which will always be an obstacle). I am excited to be part of a team, not part of a group of us and them.

So, I will be busy with work and helping Kat with homework. I hope to update this blog and keep the world updated on my status. After the first of the year, I will be looking for work again. I am starting a consulting business, so if you need bookkeeping help or help with your computer problems, I'm your gal!

Could it be any longer?S

2010-07-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

So it's been almost 3 months since my last post. You would think, since I'm unemployed and all, that I would have all sorts of time to blog. I do, but I just haven't been "in the mood." Does anyone really want to hear my depressing "Woe is me. I can't find a permanent job" diatribe? Not that that would be all I would write about. A lot happened in the past 2 1/2 months. I quit my job, my gramma died (oops, that was my last post), Tori graduated from high school, Kat passed 8th grade, Sammee and Tori both got paying acting jobs for the summer. Oh, and I can't find a job. Don't worry, God has provided money to pay the bills as they come in, but a permanent job has alluded me so far. Trust me, I am not being picky. For the most part. I do want full time, not part time. And it would be nice if it paid more than minimum wage. And, I have applied to a lot of places that I would never like to work at. I just need money coming in.

But enough about me. As I said, Tori graduated in May. With honors. First, she is sooooo cute! Second, she graduated with honors. But I said that already. Proud Momma. Kat, despite her dyslexia, is reading at grade level, and passed all of her classes. And she hates homework. Sammee got a job this summer with the Venture Theatre in Billings, MT acting and teaching at the kids' theatre school. She is loving it, and the musical, Violet, was spectacular!!! Tori got hired by Idaho Summer Repertory to play Little Inez in Hairspray. It opens this Thursday. Both Tori and Kat started their summer rehearsing and performing Disney's Alice in Wonderland and Mulan. I thought that Kat would be immune to the acting bug, but I was wrong. They then attended Theatre School for 2 weeks up at ISU. Kat slowed down after Theatre School, but Tori went full steam ahead to Hairspray rehearsals. 1 pm - 10 pm 6 days a week. Her first paying acting job.

Meanwhile back at the farm (oh, wait, I don't work at the farm anymore), Mom and Dad bought a 5th wheel and a new truck. The plan is for Dad to whisk Mom away since she is no longer tethered to Pocatello because of Gramma. They took the trailer to Billings to see Sammee last weekend, and this weekend went to Sun Valley for an antique show. They will be home to see Hairspray, but will probably go to LA to see Jenn and Ava (my niece) this summer. We also rented out Gramma's side of the duplex to a family who is working at Idaho Summer Repertory this season. Susan, her husband, Chris (the stage combat ninja), their 5 year old twins, Nicholas and Noah, and Susan's mom. Chris left last week to go back to Ontario, Canada. He is also a river rafting and kayaking ninja. Susan's mom left today, and Susan and the boys will be here until the end of the month, or the beginning of July. It's nice having little kids around. They love the dog, and she thinks they are okay.

So keep praying for God to direct me to the right job, for Tori to stay focused on earning money for college on her year off, for Kat to adjust to high school easily and have fun, and for Sammee to return from Billings (her new friends don't want her to leave). I promise to keep you posted on the job thing, and all the other stuff in the Wortham household.

P.S. In case you are in the Pocatello area, Hairspray opens on July 8, and runs July 8, 9, 10, 12, 15, 16, 17 with a matinee on the 17th as well as evening. Show starts @ 7:30 pm and the matinee is at 2:00 pm. Also this summer is The Complete History of the United States (Abridged), and Peter Pan. Remember, a professional Broadway stage combat ninja is doing all of the fight scenes for Peter Pan. Call 208-282-3595 for ticket information. I promise to blog again soon.

Shorty 1902-2010

2010-04-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

Saturday was one of the saddest days of my "short" life. My grandmother, Norma Donnelly, passed away at the tender age of 107. No, that is not a typo, my gramma was 107. She lived an amazing life! She survived small pox, and she was struck by lightening. That is an interesting story. She was riding her horse to the one room schoolhouse that she taught at, and the horse got struck by lightening. She also broke her hip when she was 98. Not like that slowed her down at all.

Shorty was born the same year that the Wright Brothers flew for the first time. She taught elementary school without a degree. That was a time when, if you wanted to be a teacher, then you found a school, and taught. She was even my cousin John's 4th grade teacher. She saw so many changes in the world. Cars, television, computers. And everything in between. She experienced WWI and WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and Persian Gulf I and II. And, she was in great health until about a month ago.

I could tell you all about Shorty, but this blog would be a novel. Let's just leave it at "she was one of the most amazing women I have ever known. She will not ever be replaced."

Saturday I need to travel to Boise for her funeral. My aunt said that me, my sister, and my cousin should speak. What should I say? The only thing that comes to mind is pretty recent. As Shorty's sight was failing she was having a hard time seeing who was in the room. One day I walked into her house and I was wearing a striped shirt. She could see me! So I started buying more striped shirts so she could see me. Eventually she started calling me Mrs. Stripes, and she always knew when I walked into the room. Now I have all of these striped shirts. So is that an appropriate story for a funeral? I think so. Especially a funeral complete with ice cream sandwiches. Shorty had ice cream every night for as long as I can remember. It's a fitting farewell. And a tasty one.

So, pray for my family right now, especially my mom, who was her main caregiver. And the next time you have a bowl of ice cream, remember a very special, very old lady who touched a lot of people. Love you Shorty!

P.S. Almost made it through without crying.

P.P.S. Shorty is actually a term of love. She was 5' 0" standing up straight, and used to always comment about how she was considered tall when she was young.

Quick Update

2010-04-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

Just thought I would post a quick update on the job hunt. Got a call from the County offices today, and they filled both positions I had applied for. I am still waiting to hear on the IT job. Right now I will take just about anything. It looks like the lady who is replacing me is doing great!

I also printed my first sheet of business cards. Those are a work in progress. I hope to figure out what to do with them. I am actually thinking about giving them to churches and small businesses. I just need to do something and soon.

So I will keep ya'll posted if ya'll will keep praying for me. More later.

New Beginnings

2010-04-12T16:31:00.001-07:00

While dinner is in the oven, I thought I would catch up on stuff.

First stuff: I quit my job on the farm. I really need to be in Pocatello for the girls. I will stay until my replacement is trained. She starts tomorrow. No, I don't have a job in Poky yet. God hit me over the head with a 2 x 4 and realized that my family was falling apart with me 30 miles away. So, I gave my notice, and only work until 3 pm so I am home when the girls get home. That also gives me time to job hunt, drop off resumes, and go to interviews.

Hm, interviews. I have had one so far. I have applied for 3 other jobs here in town. Right now there are lots of part time jobs, but not very many full time. However, I am persistant almost to the point of being annoying when it comes to taking care of my kids. I will get a job, or two, and it will all be good.

Am I scared about the money? Heck yes! Right now I have to make my tight to the penny budget work on $ 500 less per month. And, if my replacement works out, $2,000 less per month. I will do whatever it takes to get by, but in the mean time I have to be proactive to survive.

So, keep on praying. Pray that my replacement works out. Pray that God leads me to the right job(s). Pray that I can get through this transition period without overdrafting. Pray that the girls are supportive of me during this time. Just pray.

Spring Break and Jobs

2010-03-26T20:04:00.001-07:00

Spring break is over. The girls are home from various corners of the country. School is back in session. The fighting has commenced. I am at the end of my rope. Sorry, Kat and Tori were fighting and I had to say something.

On another note, I have put in my notice at the farm. I really need to find a job here in Pocatello. The kids need me here, not 1/2 hour away all the time. I am looking, so if you hear of anything, let me know. I am not sure when my last day will be. I agreed to stay until they replace me. If I find a job here in town I will leave earlier.

So pray for me and the girls right now. This will be very tough on us, especially if I don't find a job before the farm replaces me. Sorry I am not very talkative this week. I'm sure there will be more to come. Until then, Happy Easter!

I Promise to Actually Post This One

2010-03-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well, Spring Break is here. And, after much snarling and gnashing of teeth, the children are starting off on their one week adventures. Sammee drove to Boise tonight to catch her flight to NYC tomorrow morning. Finally! this past week she was changing her mind about going daily, if not hourly. She is going alone. Yes, I know, the most overprotective mom in the world is letting her baby go to the Big Apple alone? First of all, she has friends in NY to hang out with. Second, I have given her so many safety tips that it is now a running joke with us. Hopefully she follows them. The best one is to act crazy then people will leave her alone. Hey, it works. Have you ever stopped to talk to a crazy person?

Tori leaves at o'dark thirty (literally) on Monday to go to LA on Choir Tour. She went to LA last year with Student Ministries to DCLA, a national conference. She is really looking forward to it. The choir even gets to sit through a choir practice at USC.

Kat will be home all week while I work. Poor kid. And, to make matters worse, all of the kids she hangs out with left today for the American Heritage tour. I think she will be fine. My mom will help keep her occupied. Grammas are good for that.

Meanwhile back at the ranch (or farm), Tori graduates in only 2 months. I am really starting to feel old. Kat starts high school in August, and in 4 short years she will be grown too. I guess I better start planning on what to do with the extra bedrooms now. I only have 4 years to get it done.

Other than that, just doing the work thing, the kid thing, the ministry thing. On the church front, we (hopefully) should have an interim pastor right after Easter, and the Search Team should be formed on Sunday. Now starts the long process of searching for a new senior pastor. So, at 12-18 months for the whole process, we will hopefully have a new Senior Pastor somewhere between April and October, 2011.

So, that's life for now. I will check back in after the girls get back from the coasts to relate their experiences.

Oops!

2010-03-07T14:01:00.000-08:00

So I blogged last weekend, but for some reason I never posted it. I did. Today. It's from my friend Bill's last week in Pocatello. He probably thinks I'm insane because I told him last Sunday that I blogged about him, and he is probably wondering where the post is. Well, Bill, it's there. Finally. Sometimes I am a total dork. But a relatively lovable one.

Getting Better

2010-03-06T20:04:00.000-08:00

So I decided that I was going to get better at blogging. Not a New Year's resolution (since it's March), I am just committing myself to it. Not sure how much I have to say, or what I'm going to say, but here goes.

I am officially old. Sam will finish her second year of college in May, and Tori will graduate from high school in May. In August Tori will start college and become an adult, and Kat will start high school. Where did the time go? I remember the first day of kindergarten for all three, and it didn't seem like that long ago. I guess time flies when you're having fun.

I know, before ya'll start in on me, I'm not old. Technically. Sometimes I feel real old though. On the nights when I get off work late and have to drive the kids all over the place, it makes me very tired. But, when I get home and put on my jammie pants, life is okay again. Plus, I get my weekends to chill out at home. Sometimes I wish I had more friends to hang out with, but I am such a homebody that going and doing all the time makes me tired just thinking about it.

Now, to clarify, I am really not complaining about any aspect of my life. When I am driving the girls around town for whatever reason, we have some amazing conversations. Our best talks are in the car. When I am hanging out with my friends, I enjoy myself and the company. And if the girls aren't with me, I love the non-mom time. When I am home alone, I enjoy the quiet and solitude. I also enjoy having control of the remote and no one "Momming" me. So, I think I lead a pretty well rounded life.

While rereading this, I realized that I ramble a lot. But, I guess I write like I talk. Maybe for those of you who live far away from Pocatello, Idaho it makes a fond memory of me pop into your head. I sure hope so. Until next time, may you have a balance of busy, fun, and quiet in your lives.

Where the heck have I been?!? (and other ramblings)

2010-02-19T20:55:00.000-08:00

I know, I am a horrible blogger. But, I've been busy. Working in a different town takes a lot out of a person. I spend a lot of time being tired and rushed. I have decided that God needs to add one or two hours to the day so I can actually accomplish something.

I will confess. I started this blog one week ago. I am officially a slacker. I am trying, but it has been just nuts for me.

The main thing I have been trying to deal with for the past month is the departure of a very good friend. The pastor of my church, Bill McCready, has been called to a church in Nevada. His last Sunday is this week, and he and his family leave next week. Bill has been leading my church, first Baptist Church for 14 years. In fact, I moved back to Pocatello one month after he started. we formed a fast friendship, and he knows things about my life that no one else knows. Except for God, of course. When Bill and Beth moved here, Beth was pregnant, and I had just had Kat. So, Mac, Bill and Beth's son, and Kat have been friends for 14 years. It is very weird thinking about not having Bill here all of the time, but Kat has really had a hard time of it. She and Mac act more like siblings than friends. She has had friends come and go, but Mac has always been there. Thank God for technology! At least she and Mac can email each other.

I apologize for rambling, but words are just kind of oozing out. I just have to put down what this family means to me. Bill talked me into going back into ministry. I had been told that God hated divorce, and that I was damaged goods. Let's not even discuss having a child out of wedlock. Bill listened to the details of why I divorced my ex and told me that my divorce was Biblical since he broke both our vows and the Commandments. Then he coerced me into being Wedding Coordinator at FBC. From there I have led the Drama Ministry, done Children's Praise Team, sang in the choir, multi media, security, and am currently Treasurer. If Bill wasn't in my life, I probably wouldn't have done any of that.

Beth, Bill's wife, was Youth Pastor at FBC for 9 years. She helped my older 2, Sammee and Tori, chose to lead Godly lives, and helped mold them into the women they have become. Bill has been a father figure to 3 girls who had no father. Mac and Rachel have been playmates, pseudo-siblings, and sources of joy. This amazing family has been part of my family, in good times and very bad times, and I love all four of them with all of my heart!

Thank you Bill, Beth, Mac, and Rachel for 14 years of laughter, tears, good times, bad times, and lots of coffee. You will be missed a lot, but Tahoe is a lovely place to vacation, and your church is very closer to that. Love you guys a ton!

Had a Great Day!

2009-11-06T18:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I survived my first harvest. For the most part. There are still yields to process, but payroll is going down, and the workload is dwindling. Maybe I can finally tackle all of the piles of paper that have accumulated during harvest. I am drowning in grain tickets and mileage logs. I still love my job, and still want to continue working for the farm. I certainly have learned a lot about agriculture!

This week the radio station I listen to (when Kat isn't in the car) had a contest going on. Be caller 10 and you get your name in a drawing for an IPod nano. I was late leaving work today, and just as I was getting on the freeway my cell phone rang. It was the radio station telling me that I won the IPod! Kat told my mom last week that she wants an Ipod nano for Christmas. That's the only reason that I called in. Now mom and I have 1/3 of Christmas taken care of. Tori will be hard. She either wants a professional level camera or a laptop. I think that I get the laptop first, so that will probably be her graduation gift.

I can't believe that I am talking about Christmas already. Didn't New Year's just happen? Wasn't I just unemployed? This year has just flown by. But in a good way. I am ready to finish this year and start a new one. Not that this has been a bad year. I just keep moving forward in life, and am anticipating more blessings.

So in a nutshell, I love my job, my kids are great, the year is moving too fast, and life is good again. And, back to the last boring post about finances, That, too, is improving.

Will I Ever Slow Down?!?

2009-10-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

So, once again, it's been a month since I blogged last. Harvest is super busy, but the good news is that it should be over in about a week. Then the payroll will go way down, and I can concentrate on wading through the pile of papers that have sprung up all over my office. This year I am overwhelmed by the whole process, but I am already formulating plans for next year to make it a slightly easier process.

Meanwhile at home, money has become a huge issue. It is taking me longer than I thought it would to get used to the new pay schedule. Each pay period gets a little better than the last. Like, I haven't had to ask my mom to fill my car up at all between the 16th and now. Pay day is on Friday, and I have enough gas to get to work and back till then. I am trying to be the "tough mom," and say no to everything. I think starting this payday, I am just going to blame Dave Ramsey for everything. "Dave said no, it's not in the budget!" That always irritates them, but it shuts them up! Thanks, Dave!!

For any of you who don't know who Dave Ramsey is, he is a financial guru, who has helped thousands of people get out of debt forever! His Financial Peace University and Total Money Makeover programs are used around the country. He has his own radio talk show, and a show on Fox Business Network. And, he's funny. Gotta have the funny.

So I am working on my budget, and trying to start to say "NO!" to the girls again. And, with harvest ending, I promise to blog more often. As long as I don't get blown off the freeway this winter. Winds are bad, but God's got my back!

Whoa! Busy much?

2009-09-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

So I just realized that it's been 1 1/2 months since I blogged. September has been absolutely nuts! So was the last half of August. So here we go.

The girls went back to school on the 24th. Tori is a senior and Kat's in 8th grade. We had scheduling issues (I covered that in my last rant), and IEP issues with Kat's teachers. On the 27th, my sister had her first baby. A girl named Ava Lillian. So, my parents were gone over Labor Day weekend to go visit Jennifer in Portland. I was the sole caregiver for my grandma, who is 106. No, really, and she lives on her own. In fact, Sunday is her birthday. And she survived my caregiving and is ready for cake and ice cream. Then we had a small issue with Gma2 (that's what the girls call her. It stands for grandma squared. Cute, huh?) and her health. That issue is pretty much over now. Then there is work. Harvest is in full swing, and I am buried with work, which all has to be done at the same time, and NOW!!! I will get all the kinks figured out this year, and hopefully next year I will have an actual system going so I can get everything done on time. Add to that high school homecoming, AP classes, early morning show choir, and, this week, ISU (Idaho State University) homecoming, and my plate is so full that I can't lift it!

I am not complaining. I love that my girls are involved in activities. It makes them learn to manage their time, and they get to meet new people and make different friends. Sometimes it can be taxing on the taxi mom. I think that was a joke. Not sure. I forgot to mention one more activity that has once again invaded our lives. Kat started bowling again 2 weeks ago. The bad part is that her ball cracked (and I mean Grand Canyon size crack) because it lived in the car all summer, and the temperature changes caused it to. So she needed a new ball. Mom got her one, and the kid even chose a reasonably priced ball. It's pretty purple and black marbled. Very shiny. And, it's sized just for her. She got her fingers measured for the holes and everything. Plus, we got a 10% discount because she's on a league! WOO HOO!!!! So now Saturdays are filling up timewise. But it's fun. Mom usually comes, and Tori will come sometimes too. She loves to cheer on Kat. And, with her new ball, Kat is bowling almost 20 pins above her average! That's awesome.

So now we come to this week. Work, church, school stuff, and Mom and Dad are gone again. Since it's almost Shorty's birthday (that's my name for her), my mom's sister (yes, my aunt) is in town for a week. Every time Aunt Beth comes to town, my dad takes my mom out of town. That's her only break from taking care of Shorty. Usually during this time of year, she goes to Kentucky to visit Dad. But he didn't get an acting job there this year. So they are in New England "to see the fall foliage." Funny, I didn't know trees changed color in quaint antique stores. My dad is also an antique dealer, so that is part of the itinerary. I am in charge of Shorty next Wednesday, because Aunt Beth leaves on Tuesday evening and Mom and Dad get home on Thursday. I think she will survive.

So you should all be caught up now. I promise that I won't go so long without blogging. I ramble less when I blog more often. Got to go make a reminder to call Dad tomorrow night. It's his birthday. Happy Birthday Dad and Shorty!!!

Baby or No Baby?

2009-08-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

My sister is pregnant. She has been for 9 months. Her due date is today. No baby. I never told her this (and probably shouldn't include this because she reads my blog), but I think a late first baby is standard in our family. I am the older sibling, and I was 2 weeks late. Samantha, my oldest, was 12 days late. I would never wish a late baby on anyone, mainly because of how stressful it is to see the due date quickly fall into the past. And the comments you get when you are out and about. "When are you due?" "Last week." "Oh, you poor thing! You must be frantic with worry!" Yeah, that always makes the expectant mom feel better (comment dripping with sarcasm). At least I have been there, and can support her and James until Ava does make her grand entrance. And, 19 years ago, inducement didn't happen until the baby was 2 weeks late. Now they don't wait so long.

On another note, when the baby does come, Mom and Dad will drive to Portland for a few days. My mom's sister, who usually comes to help with my grandma, won't be coming to town for this event. So, Sam, Tori, Kat and I will be in charge of Shorty (my pet name for gramma). For those of you who don't know, my gramma lives next door to me, and is 106 years old. No, that's not a typo. She was born in 1902. She is still alive, still sharp as a tack, and lives on her own. Sort of. Samantha lives in her basement. Sort of. It will only be for a few days, but there is a schedule involved. She must have dinner at a certain time, and then there is the ice cream. Every night, between 8 and 9 pm, it is ice cream time. And she's 106. Don't you dare deny her ice cream. And, with me working in American Falls (about 1/2 hour drive from where I live), I am a little nervous about getting her taken care of. The girls will have to step up and help some during the day. Plus, there is the nasty topic of what to do if she doesn't wake up. That is my one main fear. And the big fear is that one of the girls will have to deal with this, and I will be 1/2 hour away. But the office is on alert, and when Mom and Dad leave, my boss will know. I have already been told that accommodations will be made if I have to come in late or leave early. I love it when people understand the importance of family.

In closing (I always wanted to say that), Ava Lillian Willecke-Bell better show up soon, because I want to be an Auntie. By the way, she will have to pronounce it awntie not antie. With my name (Andrea) the hard A just sounds stupid.

Back to School, Part Deux

2009-08-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

Got the girls registered for school tonight. 15 minutes for Kat, the 8th grader. 1 1/2 hours for Tori, the high school senior. And Tori's fees were almost 3 times Kat's. And we are not finished paying them yet. And there will be senior pictures, graduation announcements, cap and gown, all night party tickets. But I digress. I did not intend this blog to be a gripe about how much "free" public education costs. I intend to gripe about how hard it is to change a high school schedule.

Let me start by stating some things about the school district that my girls attend. The fees, for the most part, are not bad. Activity fee, senior dues, locker fee, yearbook, choir robe cleaning fee. All pretty much standard. The two fees that I have an issue with are the picture fee and the participation fee. When I was in school, you had your picture taken and it went into the yearbook. When Sammee (the 19 year old) started high school, there was a fee from $1 to $6 photo fee. I asked, and was told that it was to put the photo in the yearbook. Strange. We pay for the school pictures, then pay for them to go into the yearbook? Oh, yeah, and pay for the yearbook! At Tori's school, the photo fee for seniors is $12. Not only do they put the photo in the yearbook, but they make a giant class photo and put it on the wall in the high school. A cool tradition (even though my class is the only one missing). There are classes from the 1910's on the wall at school. But, please! $12 for a picture that I will pay hundreds for the sitting fee? Ack!!!

The other fee is slightly ridiculous. The participation fee is for athletes, cheerleaders, and any other group who might use a bus for travel. It was implemented after the war started in Iraq and gas prices started to rise. It's purpose is to offset the gas and maintenance on the buses. Okay. But, the other groups who get charged for this are drama, choir, band, debate, all classes. And most of the time if there is travelling involved, it is for a grade. When Sammee started high school, the fee was waived for low income families, which were families who received free or reduced lunch. I am a single mom, therefore lower income. Sammee's junior year, I was informed that the waiver was removed, and all students had to pay the full fee. By the way, over 50% of the students in our district received free or reduced lunch. So the district wasn't getting enough money in participation fees. Unfortunately for me, Sammee was in band, choir, debate, and drama. There is one fee for the first activity, and one for all the others. So 2 fees in all. But, those fees added up to almost $100. That's a lot of money for a single parent. If Tori would have been in Senior Choir, no fee. But Gate City Singers (the show choir) required the fee. Again, Ack!!!

Again, I digress. This blog is about scheduling conflicts. We register. Tori gets her schedule. She has Gate City. But no Senior Choir, which is a requirement to be in Gate City. So off we go to the counselor's office. And we wait. For almost 1/2 hour. The counselor will see us now. It's a simple request. Put Tori in Senior Choir. Oops, forgot about the wrinkle. She is in National Honor Society. She must take at least 2 AP classes to graduate with honors. She currently has AP Statistics and English 101. Senior Choir is 3rd hour. AP Stats is 1st hour. English 101 is offered 1st and 3rd hour. Issue. The counselor is new to high school, so she doesn't realize that one AP class can't just go away. We argue and argue. Then the counselor in charge of NHS comes in, says that Tori can take English 101 online. We free up 2nd hour for her so she can do it at school (the laptop is still dead, and it will be a couple of months before it will be replaced). AP Stats 1st hour, English 101 2nd, Senior Choir 3rd, and she was even able to throw in a pottery class. Tori is happy, I am exhausted, and the counselor probably never wants to see me again. Oh, well. We will be back next trimester.

This blog is probably the longest I have ever done, but I had a lot to say. I am just glad that everything ended on a semi-happy note. Only semi-happy because Tori was half an hour late to youth group. Luckily the school is across the street from the church. But, like I said, the girls are registered for school. Next step, school supplies and Sammee's sophmore year of college. I might need a series on those moments.

2 weeks until school!

2009-08-10T18:44:00.001-07:00

It's August 10. School starts for all three girls in two weeks. Summer stock is over, church camp is over, DCLA happened, and the summer is winding down. Every year the summer seems to get shorter and shorter. Except last summer. Nothing makes time drag like being unemployed with a fresh Associate's Degree, and most companies laying off, not hiring. But i digress.

In reflecting on the summer, i noticed that Sammee has matured more this summer than any other year. The responsibilities she had at Idaho Summer Repertory really made her have to grow up and act like an adult. And i think the bug has bitten her. I told her at the beginning of the summer that she would either love it or hate it. No one walks away from a summer theatre season thinking, "Yeah, that was fun." It's either "when does next season start", or "I am NEVER doing that again!" She is talking about doing another summer stock. How has she matured, you ask? First, I didn't have to wake her up at all this summer. Then, when her car broke down, she negotiated with the mechanic to set up a payment plan. Then she followed through with the payments. She is already making sure that she has everything together for financial aid, and she has Federal jury duty in September, and is taking it seriously. I am so proud of her and her accomplishments!

Sam is not the only one who has matured. Tori changed a lot over the summer. Since coming back from DCLA, she has developed even more of a heart for service. She has even recruited 2 of her friends to help with children's ministry. She is also trying to figure out what to do after high school. And, next summer, she is determined to work at Idaho Summer Repertory. Theatre is not her first love, but she loves singing, dancing, and making people happy and entertaining them. Acts of service is her love language, after all. She was so excited to show her friends how many people serve God behind the scenes. It's not just the preacher, the praise team, and the band. It's the sound people, media people, the person who was at the door who said hi. There are lots of ways to serve without ever being noticed. See, even introverts can serve in ministry.

Kat is in a back and forth stage. She's 13, and is torn between doing what she knows is right, and pleasing her friends. Tori went through this, and so did Sam. Junior high is so hard. I am just waiting until she starts high school. Plus, junior highers tend to annoy me. I deal with high school age kids much easier. But I am trying. She will be fine, because she has a wonderful support system at church.

It's funny that I started my blog talking about how the girls are changing, and in the middle talked about serving in ministry. I tend to ramble most of the time. Maybe I should change my blog name to "I ramble, therefore I am."

The Week that Was

2009-07-26T14:10:00.000-07:00

Tori is home from camp. Kat is home from camp. The summer theatre season will end in 2 weeks. And I just realized that school starts in a month for all 3 of the girls. Where did the year go? Tori is going to be a senior! Where did my life go? Am I really old enough to have an adult child? Don't answer that!

I am suddenly having the standard parent moment of "where did the time go? Did I spend enough time with my children before they grew up? Have I properly taught them the skills to be productive members of society? What mistakes will they make? Have they learned from my mistakes? What will I do if they move out of Pocatello?" These are just a few of the questions running through my head.

I think my concerns for my kids have to do with today's sermon. At our church we are in the middle of the Blockbusters series. Simply put, take the top movies of the summer and find the spiritual undertones of said movie. Today's movie was "The Proposal." And Karl, our worship leader and today's preacher, focused on the family aspect of the movie. So he talked about the importance of family in spiritual growth, both the biological family and the church family. Hence the questions about my parenting skills. I'm not perfect and I know that. But was my best effort good enough? I sure hope so. I probably won't know for a few years.

I have raised these girls alone for the past 13+ years, so I am all full of doubt. I do know one thing though. If I didn't have my amazing church family, my chances of the girls growing up right would have been slim to none. They may not have their fathers in their lives, but they have so many father figures at church that it's crazy. Sam and Tori even joke that they will have to pull a name out of a hat to decide which one of the men at church will walk them down the aisle at their weddings. Talk about family!

My church family has seen me through some very bad times, and some amazingly happy times. And I thank them for that, and will be eternally grateful for them. So if you have a church family who is there for you, take a moment and thank God for putting them in your life. I know I do.

And Yet More to my Week

2009-07-23T20:15:00.000-07:00

I usually don't post more than once a week (if I'm doing good), but my week has just gotten more interesting. And again, I will NEVER say that my life is boring!!!

Sam's car has been acting up, so she took it into the mechanic yesterday. She has a very interesting problem with her Camaro. She has no fan. You know, the fan by the radiator that cools the engine when it gets too hot. It is not in the car. The mechanic said that when it fell out, she would have known. She would have freaked out and called me in a panic, so I'm thinking that the fan was gone when she bought the car. Since it sat in the driveway from September till June, we have no way of knowing. Add in a belt that was screeching, and we are looking at $400 in repairs. Yay. That is one week's pay for me. We have set up a payment plan with the mechanic, who my father has been going to since before I was born. So she is without a car for a few days while they find a fan for her car. She has had her first real dose of real life, and she doesn't like it. Time for the budget talk. Ack. I so am not ready for this. She is a free spirit who must spend the money she has RIGHT NOW!!!

Tomorrow is Friday. I would love it to be a "boring" day. But who knows.

What a week!!!

2009-07-22T18:53:00.000-07:00

I know, it's only Wednesday, but my week has already been full of excitement. Remember a few posts ago when I said I felt boring? God has been showing me just how unboring I really am.

On Saturday Mom and I drove to Ketchum and back to pick up Kat from church camp and drop off Tori at the same camp. For those of you outside the great state of Idaho, Ketchum, also known as Sun Valley, is about a 4 hour drive from Pocatello, where I live. So we had an 8 hour drive on Saturday. It was actually a fun drive. My family has a lot of fun on car rides. My mom was counting the dead skunks as we went along, and Tori was tweeting the count. I think we were at 8 or 9 by the time we hit camp. Then, of course, Kat talked our ears off about camp the whole drive back.

Sunday I did multi media at church. Plus we had baptisms, and I help the people who light the candles for the person being baptized. If you would like more info on this tradition, just comment and I will explain further. Plus I had to do treasurer stuff after the second service. So at one point I was up in the sound booth and down in the worship center at the same time. Can you say clone me for multi ministry? After church I just relaxed because I was completely shagged out.

Monday started out normal. Until I got to work. For some reason, everyone needed to be in my office all day. My stack of stuff to do kept growing but I got nothing accomplished. The funny part is that on my drive home (1/2 hour) I remembered a part of Sunday's sermon. Easy to remember, since I heard it twice. Karl was preaching about the movie "Night at the Museum 2" and was talking about his daughter's pet chinchilla running on it's wheel. Then it hit me. I was that dang chinchilla on a wheel at work.

Tuesday started out very bad. I woke up to a dead laptop and a dead guinea pig. Ick. And, I couldn't dispose of the rodent because the 13 year old was spending the night at my mom's, and I have disposed of a dead rodent without the girls' knowledge before. Not pretty. The hysterics are much smaller with discovery than an empty cage. So I left it. Got the magical phone call in the afternoon. Tears for a bit, then over it. She even went to a friend's house and spent the night. And I have to come up with the money to fix the laptop. I would love to just get a new one, but I think it will cost a little less to fix the old one. Then the 19 year old calls saying that her car randomly turns off when she is driving. It is in the shop right now. I am not looking forward to that one either.

Today I had to help coordinate CPR training at work. And at 3pm, I suddenly decided to take the training too. I left work at 6 instead of 5. Can you say tired?

The upside to all of this? I discovered that I am NOT boring. And, God, I am sorry for saying that. I am an interesting person who has a strangely exciting life. No, I don't go on exciting vacations to exotic places, but my life is very interesting. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

Here's to loving life, whatever the circumstances!

Miscellaneous Ramblings

2009-07-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

Kat is at camp this week. I really do miss her. I know that she is having a great time, but the house is too quiet. Tori is (of course) hanging out with her friends. She did do some laundry today to pack for camp. Sometimes I wish I had time to do laundry. I'm just glad that my girls have learned to do their own laundry. I just have to fight my way to the washer.

By the way, I am loving my new job. I fit in, personality wise, and am picking up on the routine and procedures quickly. The best thing I have heard is one of the ladies that works at the temp agency told me that she met one of the guys that works for another company that is associated with the farm I work at. He raved about the great job I was doing. I was convinced that he didn't even remember my name. That makes me feel like I am really doing the job I was hired to do.

Don't get me wrong. I still want to combine my IT degree and my Theatre Management degree. I would LOVE to work in professional theatre as a geek. And a House Manager. Or a Box Office Manager. Or any type of manager. I manage. It's what I do. Of course, I am amazed that I am organized when I manage, but my life is so disorganized that I can't keep my children's schedules straight, much less coordinate them. Maybe it's the difference between work and personal life. I don't know.

Someday, I keep telling myself, I will do my dream job. Not sure if that is IT director for a professional theatre, or for a church. Either one works for me. But, until that happens, I love whatever job I am doing. The main thing is the people. I love the people I work with, and I will always cherish the memories I will get from this job. Did I ever mention that I am learning about the world of farming? Grew up in Idaho, lived in farm land for 22 ish years, never learned much about farming and the complexities. Who knew?

Back in the Biz....sorta.

2009-07-08T19:15:00.001-07:00

For the past couple of years I have talked about getting back into theatre. I'll audition for a play at Westside. Maybe I'll see if I can usher at ISU, yada, yada, yada. But that's all it has been...talk. Until now. Sammee has been working full time at ISU this summer as the Company Assistant for the Summer Repertory Theatre. She called me today to ask if I would help usher for some shows this summer. Upside, free admission to the show. Downside, can't really think of one right now. So I said yes. Partly because I love my daughter, and will help her in any way I can to succeed in what she wants to do, and partly because, it's a foot in the door, and I may be able to help more in the future. Fast forward a couple of hours. Kat and I brought popcorn up to the PAC (Performing Arts Center, get used to the acronym), because Tori felt that all of the out-of-towners needed to experience Popcorn Shop popcorn. While talking to the producer, Chad, I offered to House Manage if he needed it. He said "Okay, you're on." So I am now house managing. I am not sure if it is just for Seussical or for the whole season. I'll find out tomorrow.

For those of you who don't know, 20 years ago I graduated from college with a BFA in Theatre Management, fully intending to be running a theatre some day. 20 years, one marriage, one divorce, and 3 daughters later, I had not worked in theatre since graduation. But the drive and hunger were always there. I led the Drama Ministry at church for a few years, and dabbled in improv. But I never actually got to even try to work in the field that I went to school for for 4 years. I kept vowing that I would do something in theatre, but, in Pocatello, the culture capital of the world (hahaha)? Luckily for me, a friend from college, who became a professional actor, decided to start a professional summer theatre here in town. Plus, I seem to have become friendly with the staff up at the PAC.

I know, this is not running a theatre on Broadway, but the bug has caught me again. I just hope that Sammee doesn't think I'm trying to muscle in on her turf. So tomorrow I reenter the wonderful world of theatre. Don't forget to tell me to break a leg.

All By Myself

2009-06-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

It's Friday night, and I am home alone. Not in a Macauly Caulkin kind of way. Tori is in LA at DCLA, a Christian youth conference, and Kat went to Bear Lake with a friend and her family for the weekend. So, here I am, alone in the house. A couple of years ago, I would have been freaking out. Tonight, I am revelling in the quiet. I didn't stay home though. I went on a "date" with Sammee. We went to Old Town Actor's Studio to see "Dr. Faustus." I love Shakespeare, but Christopher Marlow, well.....it was a well acted performed play.

Now it's Saturday. I had a wonderful non mom day. I had what I wanted for lunch, then got to have dinner with my friend Bobi. My non mom time ends tomorrow evening. I'm not sure what time Kat will be home, but she will be home tomorrow, and Tori and the crew will be home from LA on Monday morning. As much as I am enjoying my time without them, I do miss them. The house is unusually quiet right now. And I find myself talking to the dog, the guinea pigs, and even the TV.

Tori is having a blast at the conference. I haven't gotten a lot of information from her, but the bits and pieces i have received have included last night's main assembly called the Big Room. Tori was interviewed on Friday and was on the big screen. She won a water bottle answering trivia questions, and she got the drumstick of the worship band drummer. She even found an orange cover for her cell phone during the week (for those of you who know Tori, orange is very important, and a huge victory). I anticipate listening to her for an entire week, hearing tales of the conference.

And, her love for service has risen up again. When she gets home, we HAVE to put together popcorn boxes for the two families who housed them this week and for the bus driver who did such a good job this week. I forgot to mention that on Thursday, as the crew was leaving Orange County for LA, the brakes went out on the bus. The driver took out a vine, injured no one on the bus or on the street, and did not damage any other vehicles. Tori is a bit grateful. And, the bus driver is from Blackfoot, Idaho. I love my daughter's heart for others. So next week, we will get cards and popcorn to send to all of these people.

I feel honored to have the children God gave me. My kids have the largest hearts for others that I have met. And I am not just saying that because I'm Mom. I have seen Kat in tears because, regardless of her efforts, she is not influencing a friend the way she is trying to. I have seen Tori in tears because she can't help someone like she wants to. I have seen Sammee in tears because she can't please someone. I love their hearts.

I think I have babbled on enough about my amazing kids. Always remember as your kids grow up to look at the positive aspects of your children. Sometimes the positive overruns the negative.

DCLA Freedom!

2009-06-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

I shipped Tori off to Los Angeles with 34 other teens and adults to attend a Christian Youth Conference known as DCLA. The group left last night at 6:00, and arrived in LA at 9:00 this morning, Pocatello time. This was a huge undertaking on our parts.

First, when Tori decided that she wanted to go in January, I was working part time at a tax prep company. Not enough money to pay the bills, much less find extra money to pay for a trip to LA. And then there was the spending money issue. I know, God has a very large wallet, and his budget is WAY bigger than mine. But, I am also a realist. I have spent 13 years being a single mom living below the poverty level. However, God has shown up before and blessed my girls financially for ministry opportunities.

Four years ago Sammee and Tori decided they wanted to go on tour with the Continentals. For those of you who haven't heard of the Continentals, it's a Christian singing/dancing group that tours the country. They have groups for ages 12-16, 17-21, an acting troupe, and a group for 25 and older. They tour the US and Europe. The only requirements were that you could sing and dance a bit. The catch? We had to raise over $3,000 each in only 4 months. And that did not include plane tickets or spending money. I was very discouraged, but the girls got rolling. Donations started pouring in from church family, relatives, friends. The girls sold popcorn at church (of course, from the Popcorn Shop), and we had a yard sale. Mom helped out, of course, mostly with airfare and spending money. God showed up, and they raised all the money they needed to. And the girls had an amazing experience! They even mentioned some of the kids who were there because Mom and Dad just wrote a check.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere, really. Just reminding myself that God shows up when you are doing what He tells you to do. Do I think that God told Sam and Tori to go on tour? Yes! Strange as it seems, Continentals was their version of a mission trip. You don't have to go somewhere and build a school for underprivileged children to be on a mission trip. You just have to show Jesus to people who might not know him.

Tori may not be on a mission trip this time, but I know God told her to go to DCLA. At this conference she will learn new things to help her bring her friends to Jesus. She already brings her friends to Youth Group and church. In fact, she dated a boy and he joined the Praise Band. I think God helped us get the money for DCLA to assist Tori in being a leader in youth group next year. As a senior, she has the leadership qualities to do an awful lot for the Kingdom.

Okay, I think I am done for now. As I get updates from Los Angeles, I will post the amazing stuff that happens to the kids from First Baptist Church Pocatello.

Why do I feel boring?

2009-06-09T14:48:00.001-07:00

I have been having a hard time blogging recently. I have decided that the main reason I don't blog as often right now is that I think my life is boring now. Well, less exciting, less stuff to talk about. I got a permanent job, so no more ranting about the job hunt, people who won't hire me, etc. No yakking about how God is taking care of me and the girls even though I am making no money. My life is now just "blah."

I do have some news though. I found out yesterday that Sammee will be working all summer at ISU's Summer Reperatory Theatre as the Artistic Director/Producer's personal assistant. She is so excited about that! Also, Tori found out that there is a part that Blair wants her to do in "All Shook Up." I'm not really sure how she will go about auditioning for it, or if she has to. That part of their phone conversation was a bit fuzzy. And, Sammee is doing "Oh, Dad, Poor Dad. Momma's Hung You in the Closet, and I'm Feeling So Sad" (yes, that is the name of a play) at the Westside this summer. I would like to tell her that she is over scheduled, but she is an adult now, and must make her own scheduling decisions.

Well, that's it for now. More boring news as it becomes available.

In the Immortal Words of Alice Cooper....

2009-05-31T17:24:00.000-07:00

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!!!!! I really think my girls really needed the 3 month break. The last few weeks of school they were impossible to get out of bed. They wouldn't do homework or anything. All they wanted to do was hang out with friends. The last day was Thursday. Tori had to be up at 7 am on Friday for graduation rehearsal (she is in the choir, not graduating until next year).

One of the things I am looking forward to is getting to work earlier. I know, that sounds weird, but it makes me feel good to get to work on time. Plus, I really want to be kept on when my 90 day probationary period is up in July. I know I was whining about driving to American Falls, working so far away from the girls, it wasn't an IT job, yada, yada, yada. But, I really enjoy it there. I fit in personality wise, I am catching on quickly, I am making small changes that are being accepted, and some of my computer skills are being utilized. I am even learning a lot about agriculture. That is a much slower process.

So all in all I am feeling pretty good. I will get used to the drive, the girls will get used to the schedule, and my bosses are more flexible than I thought they would be. Plus, I am finally getting my finances in order. That is the biggest thing. I am finally able to pay my bills by myself. I haven't been able to do that for 3 years!

I will check back in as the summer progresses to update on the "boredom" the girls will experience this summer. That's just the standard word I hear all summer long.

Where is my free time?

2009-05-11T15:00:00.000-07:00

I just realized that it's been almost a whole month since my last post. I guess that's what I get for landing a full time job finally. If I thought life was busy with 3 kids and all of their stuff, I forgot just how busy it was when I worked full time. I am basically going full tilt boogie from about 5 am until 10 pm or later every single day. Now I am only counting the time I spend working, driving to work, and driving kids around. Well, I guess we could include housework, laundry, church, and a little down time in that span. However there was no accounting for extras like concerts at school (choir or band), out of town bowling tournaments, plays, or other performances. I can easily say that I am plumb wore out!!!

So Kat and I had fun at the two bowling tournaments. In Filer, her team of 4 placed first in her division. We have no idea how she did at Pepsi, but she bowls more for the fun of it. She considers tourneys just more practice time, and a chance to meet new kids from around the state.

Oh, more good news! After 3 1/2 months of unemployment, my ex husband got another job. And on the same week that I started my new job full time. I found that to be a little creepy. So, if all goes smoothly, I should start receiving child support payments again in June. When God blesses with money, He really lets it pour!!!

I think I have run out of things to say for now. If I think of any more fun news I will share. Happy Monday!!

Quite the Fun Month

2009-04-20T19:17:00.000-07:00

I know I put the work "month" in the title, but this is really about last weekend, this week, and the weekends to come.

I finished my assignment at the tax prep place on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday, I took vacation. Yes, vacation. I stayed home, puttered around the house, and prepared myself for starting the job in American Falls full time this week. It was a productive time off from life. I haven't had a vacation in a long time. And, no, I don't consider the 2 months between graduation and getting a job a vacation.

On Saturday Kat and I left for Twin Falls. She had a bowling tournament in Filer. Or so we thought. All of the paperwork we got from the Bowling Association said she bowled on the 18th and 19th. When we got to the bowling alley, we were told that her dates were the 25th and 26th. Yes, it's true. We drove to Twin Falls and back in 6 hours time. So, we stopped by the hotel, changed our reservations to next weekend, went to dinner, and drove home. Sort of a wasted day, but Kat and I had fun, scoped out stuff we would like to do next weekend (I have to find the falls), and had some good conversations.

Since I was supposed to be out of town this weekend, I skipped church yesterday. I know, bad girl. But it felt good. Not that I dread church each week. I love it!!! I am pumped each week to see what God is going to do! What felt good was having a day where I didn't have to leave the house, or even get out of my jammies all day long. And, I wore my jammy pants all day!!!

So, I will work full time at the new job all week. On Saturday, Kat and I will once again forray into the Magic Valley to bowl. I will once again skip church (but this time I will actually be out of town). Then the weekend after that, Kat and I will go to Boise for another tourney.

LIfe is good!

New Month, New Job

2009-04-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

The month of April has brought several new beginnings. My birthday was on Friday, I had a family party on Sunday, and started my new job yesterday. And, it is finally acting like spring outside.

My birthday on Friday was rather uneventful. I worked, took kids to rehearsal and sleepovers, then watched a movie, relaxed, and went to bed early. I had to work on Saturday, so the family birthday party had to be on Sunday. We had ribs and cheesecake, then presents. I got tickets to Jeff Dunham later this month, the entire first season of ER, and some cool bright red sneakers with Mickey Mouse on them. Good birthday!

Yesterday I started my new job. I am the payroll processor for Funk Farms in American Falls. The drive isn't bad, and the people are really nice. I have even been asked for networking advice, and called the "network administrator." Not bad for a first day. I was also told to set up my payroll processes the way I am comfortable with. I am excited for where this job will lead, and exited to do new things.

Easter this weekend, I get 2 vacation days at the end of next week, then full time at the farm (that just sounds so funny!). Yep, life is good.

Job Hunt Over!!!

2009-03-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

So I got some good news on Thursday. I was given an offer for the job I interviewed for on Monday. I will be working for the temp agency for 90 days, then will go permanent. The pay will be enough for me to survive, and I am no longer worried about the commute. My only concern right now is how the girls will react to this new job. I will no longer be available to pop out of work and run them here, take the paper they forgot to grab, etc. And, my mom won't do that either.

So a little bit about the new job. I will be the bookkeeper for a large farm in American Falls, which is a small town about 25 miles from Pocatello. I will be in charge of payroll, including all of the reports that need to be done. I will also process financial statements and budget reports. I am not sure if I will be doing Accounts Receivable and Accounts Payable, but I can do it if needed.

Now, for those of you who are wondering why I am settling for something outside of my field. First of all, I needed a job!!! Second, the people who interviewed me were very interested in my computer skills. I will be able to utilize my skills in that area on occasion. And, you never know where it will lead.

So I have done the happy dance, figured the income level, getting ready to figure out the new and improved budget, and start saving. I set up direct deposit at the temp agency. Since I will be working in American Falls, I will not have time to pick up my checks on Fridays, so I set it up to make sure my paychecks are taken care of. Now all I have to do is get teh car serviced before I start the daily commute. All this one week before my birthday. WOO HOO!!!!!

2009-03-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

I had a job interview yesterday. It was for a bookkeeping position for a large farm in American Falls. If you aren't from Pocatello, American Falls is a small town about 25 miles from Pocatello. I think it went well, but who knows. I talked to my staffing consultant this morning, and she had good feedback from the employer. I won't know anything for a few days.

Now, let me go back to this weekend. I was in total gloom and doom mode over this job. I was convinced that it would be a sucky (is that even a word?) job, with bad pay, and extra mileage on my car. I didn't want this job, I didn't want to interview, blah, blah, blah. I was very whiny about the whole thing.

I am now okay with the whole commute, extra gas expense, etc. I realized that it's the opportunity for a permanent, full time job, with benefits! How long have I been trying to get a permanent job? Why am I being so picky? I am not "all that and a bag of chips." I am just a human being trying to be a productive member of society. I am also not waiting for the perfect IT job. I'm going for the job that is here, now, and available to me. I will not thumb my nose at a job because I think I am above it. I will do all that I can to to provide for my kids, and right now I am the only one who can do that.

So I will wait patiently for this employer to make their decision. If they make me an offer, great! If not, there is another job out there somewhere that is the perfect fit for me.

2009-03-18T09:45:00.000-07:00

Once again, It has been a relatively uneventful week. I go to work, pick up and drop off the kids, go to church 2-3 times during the week, and try to force Kat to do her homework. I think I eat too. Most of the time. Sometimes I actually forget. But, my sister (who is pregnant) probably eats enough for both of us right now. My meal schedule has been screwed up recently anyway. I work from 10-3 by myself at the office, so I can't go grab lunch midway through the day. I have gotten down to only about 2 meals a day. I know, that's not good for me. But, that is one thing I don't have control over right now.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned my job hunt. The listings on the internet are still very few and far between, but the temp agency is keeping me hopping. In the past week they have found 2 opportunities for me. One is in American Falls, and one in Pocatello. The AF one might fall through, but the Pocatello one looks good. I revamped my resume today and got it sent off to the temp agency. I am putting on my best office manager face in anticipation of the potential interview. I just hope this one pans out. The job is right up my alley (not IT, but, hey I'll take it!), good pay, regular hours, etc. So, prayers in that area would be nice.

I'll keep everyone posted on the job thing, and the money thing. But that's it for now.

Not Much

2009-03-11T09:20:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty boring week for me. Work, run the girls wherever, do ministry, etc. The most excitement I have had this week is that I went and got my birthday present from my mom. She got me 2 tickets to see Jeff Dunham live next month. I don't have the tickets. They are with Mom, waiting for my birthday. Now comes the fun part. I have to decide who to take. The girls are not an option. That's what I need, more of "She's your favorite!" Even if I randomly chose who goes, by drawing straws or something, I will still have picked a favorite child.

I am thinking of three people to take. My best friend from high school, who lives in Pocatello, another old friend, or my dad. I am leaning towards my dad. I think he would get a huge kick out of Jeff Dunham. Plus, Kat says that Walter reminds her of grampa. Yes, I'm a bad mom. I let the 13 year old watch stand up.

So I sit at the office watching New Spring sermons and old TV episodes on Hulu, playing computer solitaire, and waiting (semi) patiently for people to come in and have their taxes done.

What has God said to you lately?

2009-03-04T09:11:00.000-08:00

So on Monday, I talked about how I am okay with my job hunt, and I am confident that God will provide what the girls and I need for now until He shows me what job He wants me at and when. The main reason I am okay with the job hunt and the child support going away, and the cut in hours at the temp job down to part time is that I am still tithing faithfully each week. Granted, my tithe has gotten significantly smaller, but that's because my income has gotten significantly smaller, but I am still giving my full 10%. Sometimes I wonder why I still give since it is so small. My little bit of money can't help the church. But, God says to give the first 10% of all you get, and you will be blessed. Where your treasure is, that's where your heart is.

Now, that's why I still tithe, and why I am not worried about money right now (ask me again about worry next week). However, I am having time management issues. I just feel that I am always going, dropping a kid off here, picking one up there, etc. Last Saturday between 10 and 3, I spent 4 hours in the car dropping off and picking up. That's ridiculous!!!!!!! I just couldn't figure out why I feel like I need to add another few hours to each day, and maybe another day to the week

So I was in the car yesterday (so what else is new), going to pick up a kid (again, what else is new) thinking about why I am okay with my money situation and not with my time. Then it just popped into my head, "Where your treasure is, there is your heart." Then I revised it to "Where your time is, there is your heart." OUCH!!!! Sometimes God speaks very clearly. Now, I am not a complete slacker. I give a lot of time to God at church. I'm treasurer, I volunteer almost every Sunday. I am considered to be "very active in my church." That's not the time issue. It's one that I have struggled with my whole life. Quiet time. I get it now. So, I am going to start up quiet time again. This time, I will keep it up. I hope. Keep praying for me about that one.

Jobs, etc.

2009-03-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

I just realized that it's been 1 1/2 weeks since my last post. I guess I didn't have a lot going on.

So I lost out on the Federal job. I was told that my credit might be the deciding factor, and I am assuming it was. But, I'm okay with it. Apparently, that is not where God wants me right now. I am content for the moment to bop along at the temp job for the time being. It's funny, but I have been job hunting for a full year now, and am perfectly content at this point. I know there is a job for me out there and someday I will know for sure where God wants me. Who knows, maybe I am not supposed to stay in Pocatello. But, until I figure it out, I will work my temp jobs, make the best of the jobs I am given, and make sure I can continue to take care of my girls.

And, Karl and Chris, I am NOT angry about this, and I am NOT bitter either! Ha! It wouldn't do me any good to feel that way over something like this. Not that I haven't felt any anger or bitterness over my job search. I am just over it. Where would that get me? Nowhere!! If I got angry and resentful every time I was turned down for a job, it would be a short road to depression and giving up. Hear me on this. I AM NEVER GIVING UP!!!!!!! I will search until I find my dream job.

And, for some reason, I am thinking that my dream job may have me as my boss. I have noticed a need in this town, and I would like to fulfill it. I won't go into details, but continued prayer as to if this is really what God wants me to do. I know, I said at the beginning of the blog that my credit is bad. I can turn that around, and I plan on doing so.

So, that's it for this week. I'm content, but plotting and planning about being my own boss. And I'm looking forward to the next step God has for me.

A Few Rantings

2009-02-18T12:39:00.000-08:00

When people ask about me, mostly (I hope) they say that I am a people person, work well with others, and enjoy being around people. I'm nice, personable, blah, blah, blah. Well, that is a well acted facade. People really annoy me. I try very hard to not let people annoy me, but as our society changes, people have become selfish, inconsiderate, boobs! I try to be considerate, polite, etc., but apparently, no one else is. Hence, today's rant. I'm thinking I will feel a little better about humanity in general if I get this off my chest.

My first area of contention is drivers. I am so tired of aggressive drivers!!! I don't know if it is because I am a very safe driver, or if I am just too polite, but if one more person tailgates me, I'm going to slam on my brakes!! And I'm serious! You are not going to get me to speed up so you can get where you are going faster by riding my heiney! You will just piss me off! And, if I haven't zipped through the light the second it turns green, don't honk!! I will not move faster! And, while I am ranting, GET OFF THE PHONE AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!!!!!!! I, for the most part, do not talk on my cell phone while I am driving. In fact, if you call me and I am in the car, one of my girls will answer and take a message. And, if I'm in the car alone, the conversation will be short. I can't tell you how many close calls I have had with another car because the driver was talking on the phone and not paying attention to what was going on around them. I think the only reason that I have not been in an accident is because I am a defensive driver, and am always watching the drivers around me.

While I am on the subject of cell phones (well, sort of), if you are at a store and go up to the cashier, get off the phone and complete your transaction. How would you feel if you were talking to someone, but they were on the phone and only paying a small amount of attention to you. This pet peeve of mine is just simple politeness and etiquette. I can't say that I am always considerate in this area, but I try. And, I am more than willing to hang up and finish the conversation another time and give the cashier my undivided attention.

Okay, I think I'm done. If I have offended or upset anyone, I'm sorry. I have just kind of had it with the inconsideration of the general population. I think I am done griping and complaining about stuff. At least for now. Drive safely, hang up the phone, and wear your seat belts.

Over It!

2009-02-16T10:01:00.000-08:00

So last week I was dealing with the angst over the investigation for the Federal job. I was all worried about being rejected, being told no, and being turned down for yet another job. No matter how many times I am told, "Don't worry, God is in control. He will provide," I am a natural worrier. I always have been. I worry about money, jobs, my kids, and on and on and on. And, as a human, I have a fear of rejection. I think that's the worst part of job hunting. The rejection. And I've heard it all. Not enough experience, too much experience. Over qualified, under qualified. And, in this economy, it's an employer's market. They can afford to be picky.

So, I have been worried about the federal job, getting any permanent job at all, ever. Plus, my hours at the temp job are being cut in half due to slow business. So now, I have a part time job. Just one. 25 hours a week. Half the hours =half the pay. A whole lot of stuff to worry about. Suddenly, over the weekend, I got over it! God knows where he wants me to work, and He will eventually reveal it to me. That's another issue I have. I am not patient! I understand that God has a plan for me and knows where I will be going and what I will be doing, but, Dang it, why can't He at least give me a hint? I'm really not sure what happened, but it just clicked! I went from being all worried about stuff to shrugging my shoulders and saying, "It's all good. We'll be fine." I don't get it, but I am real happy that I feel better about my situation.

And my situation is: I have a temp job that will go on until April 15. I have a wonderful temp agency who keeps me employed until I can find a permanent job. I got my tax refund 3 weeks ago and am saving 50% of it as a cushion. I have a great family and church family who support me. I have some great friends at church who help me shut down the pity parties, but understand that I need a little venting time to get over my situation. My daughters are very understanding about our financial situation right now. How can I not feel blessed and content?

I will wait out the federal job. If the investigation goes through and I get the job, great! If not, oh well. There is really nothing to worry about. Que sera, sera (Sorry a little Doris Day moment). I will eventually get a permanent job, and until then, I will work steadily at the temp agency. I will save my money to send Tori on Choir Tour in March, and DCLA in June. I will save up money to send Kat to camp in July. Maybe we can even try to get out of town for a few days later in the summer. Who knows? I might even take a week off after this assignment, and take a much needed break. Remember, no vacations for temps.

You Never Know....

2009-02-11T14:46:00.000-08:00

I have had an interesting experience for the past week or so. As I mentioned in my last post, I have had to remember my entire life since the age of 18 and tell the Federal Government all about it. Yesterday, I went in and answered more questions about my past. Now they know more dirt about me than my mother does (don't tell Mom that). I also learned a valuable lesson. Your past WILL come back to haunt you. Mine certainly has.

I can honestly say that I did some stupid things and made some very stupid decisions. And I had to tell this person, who I had never met before, about these stupid things. The worst part is, some of the stupidity may cost me the opportunity I have been given for a job. I can honestly say that right now, I am ready to back out of this whole process to save myself further embarrassment. Should I? I really don't know. But, I am an emotional basket case over it.

Some of the stupidity I can overturn. I made a few (understatement) bad financial decisions over the years. Those black marks I can wipe clean with a little tighter budgeting and time to get it done. Some of the other things are done, over with, and cannot be undone. I won't go into them, let's just say, they are not good things. Nothing illegal, no arrests, nothing like that. But, at the time my thought was, "what could it hurt?" Well, it hurt. And even though I don't know if these things will hurt my chance at this job, it really hurt me to have to admit them. And I felt ashamed to have actually done them. I now wish that I had thought things through and made better decisions.

This has not been all bad. I can now tell my girls how this has affected me, and hopefully they will not follow in my footsteps. Life lessons are always good, even if they hurt initially. And, I was able to look back on my life and say, "I did do some stupid things, but look where I am at now. I picked myself up, and no matter how hard the world tried to push me back, I pushed harder, and will continue until I achieve my life goals." And my goals are simple. To have a good job to take care of the girls. To have happy children (and not just because they get a new cell phone (they are really not materialistic)). To feel good about myself and to be a positive influence. Like I said 2 weeks ago, I just want to be a "good and faithful servant."

Thank God for Google!

2009-02-03T14:56:00.000-08:00

So my week started out better than last week did. I have started entering my whole life since my 18th birthday for this FBI job. Wow! I don't know if you have ever had to enter job information from 15 years ago, but it is a chore. That is why I titled this blog "Thank God for Google!"

I know God didn't invent Google, but he created the genius(s) that came up with this "internet manna." You can Google just about anything. Last night Kat Googled Charles Darwin for a science report. Tonight we will Google a picture of him to attach to her report. You can find people, information, pictures, websites, blogs, porn (not that I have looked). I have had to Google former employers.

I thought this online information questionnaire would be easy. The paper version said go back 7 years for addresses and employers. Well, when I got the email with the information about the website to fill this paper out electronically, I was told to go back to my 18th birthday. How many of you remember the address and name of your supervisor from the part time job you worked in college, 20 years ago? Yeah, me either. But, between Google and YellowPages.com, I have found the address for just about every employer I have had since high school graduation. Now, as for the supervisors, that is just a lost cause. Luckily, I have space to explain myself. An hopefully the Federal Government will understand that businesses close, people change jobs, and memories fade. At least I have found the majority of these employers, and have a good explanation as to why I don't have addresses for some of them.

As hard as this process has been for me, I could only imagine if I would have tried to do this 10 years ago. The internet was huge back then, but you still couldn't find everything you needed online. I would never have been able to fullfill the requirements that were set for me on this questionnaire.

So that's where I am at right now. I just had to take a break from the long process, so I thought I would document what I am doing. My break time is over. I have to have this done before Saturday.

What to do with the time left?

2009-01-29T13:47:00.000-08:00

I lost a good friend this week. My friend, ReNee, lost her battle with cancer on Monday. Although, I can't say I really lost her. I know exactly where she is. She has gone home to heaven, and I can only imagine the party that's been happening this week.

But, this is not a blog about faith, religion, or anything like that. Since ReNee was so young (37), I started thinking about the fact that we don't have any clue how much time we have left on this earth. What do I want to do with the time I have left, however long it is? Personally, I hope I can be around for quite a few years. My grandmother is 106 and not going anywhere soon. And, I'm not talking about creating a "Bucket List," although that was a very good movie. I am talking about doing something with my life so that when the time comes, I will hear "Well done, good and faithful servant."

I am not moving to South America to do mission work (at least not at this time. We'll see what God has for me down the road). I'm talking about little stuff that can turn into big stuff. Volunteering at the Salvation Army's soup kitchen, having lunch at the Senior Center just to talk to them, helping out a friend in need. I know I don't have a lot of money, but there are lots of things I can do to show God's love to people that cost me nothing but some time. I just need to get off my hiney and get going.

Therein lies my problem. I'm a homebody. When I get off work, I like nothing more than to go home, put on my jammies, and wind down so I can go to bed. I am very selfish about "my time." But is it really mine? Doesn't everything we have really belong to God? So I am wasting God's time! Ouch!

I know that I can't just jump out into the world and spend every waking moment helping someone else, but I can't sit on my blessed assurance (a favorite phrase of mine from my friend Bill) and wait for the needy to knock on my door. Right now I really don't know what to do, but I'm going to do something, and I'm taking my girls along for the ride. They already like helping people, so maybe if we make this fun family time, it will be easier for me to get started.

Please pray for me and the girls as I take this on. I want to thank ReNee for being a great friend, and for helping God kick me into action. Also pray for ReNee's husband, children, friends and family as we learn how to remember her. I'll keep posting on this new thing I am trying.

Something new

2009-01-24T14:06:00.000-08:00

So I am finishing up my second week at Jackson Hewitt. We actually had some clients come at the end of the week. I am feeling more confident now. I think it's because people are finally noticing us. Out of the 4 clients who have come in, three are former Jackson Hewitt customers from other states. I am starting to think that we will actually have the opportunity to do some work.

On the other end, I am still in a state over the no child support thing. Trying to cut $400 per month from your budget when you are on shoestrings is no easy task. Right now I am trying to decide which utility to turn off. I know that is kind of silly, but it's either that or food right now. That is where my money is going right now. Bills, groceries, gas for the car. A little bit here and there for videos, etc., but that's only about $20 a month. I have cut out all eating out for me. Cup O' Noodles and sandwiches all the way. I am even taking steps to not have to pay $2 per day for coffee and iced tea. I figure whatever works and saves a couple of bucks a week. I am not taking a defeatist attitude on this, not even trying to make ends meet, just trying to get the ends a little closer together.

I did look into a part time job to supplement, but with the hours I am working at the FT job, there is no time to work a second job. I could sell Tupperware or something, but that takes a bit of money up front, and, guess what? I don't have it. I think that once I get a permenant job, I will surely appreciate it more, and hold on tight to all money that I get ahold of. I'm already pretty frugal, have been my whole life. I just can't cut back any more.

Sometimes I wonder why God has put me in this situation again and again. I know He is not punishing me or anything. I just wish sometimes that I could have a job where I am not worried about money or bills, or paying off things. I know that someday I will be in that position, but right now, to be blunt, it sucks. I am just being faithful and waiting patiently (sort of) for God's timing. That is one of my character flaws. I am not patient when I am waiting on God's timing. I know, that He only makes me wait longer because of that, but that's me and how I roll.

In the mean time, I will keep a positive attitude, keep telling the girls "No," and try my hardest to not become Gloom and Doom girl. Client just walked in. Time to post.

An Interesting Week

2009-01-20T15:14:00.000-08:00

So my job is going okay. Our signs were put up last Friday, and direct mail advertising goes out this week. Hopefully people will see us and come in. I am ready to do some taxes.

My week also had some roller-coaster sized ups and downs. In November I had interviewed for an IT job at the FBI. I hadn't heard from them since then, so I thought I hadn't been chosen for the position. On Tuesday, I received a phone call from Washington D.C. (I know!), asking me why I never responded to the conditional offer made to me on December 23. I didn't know that I had a conditional offer. That night I checked my Outlook mail, and it had been sent to my Junk Mail. So I emailed them back, begging for a chance to go through the background check. Now all I have to do is fill out about 10 pages of information about me dating back up to 20 years ago. Oh, man! Then the 3 month background check, they talk to everyone I've ever met, yada, yada, yada, and I might have a job later in the year.

That was the up end of the roller coaster. The down side came on Thursday. I got an email from my ex-husband telling me that he lost his job. So that means that my child support stops until he finds another one. Now I have to rebudget without that large chunk of money. And that chunk of money is one week's pay for me. That was the down side.

So tonight I get to go to Kat's 7th grade band concert. I am actually really excited for it. She loves playing the flute and is pretty good. She would be really good if she actually practiced.

New week, new job

2009-01-14T15:43:00.000-08:00

So I am sitting in the office of my new job. It's my third day and we are still slow. We might pick up some customers when we actually get a sign. I am enjoying my new job. I finished my training today, so now I wait.

I don't have the angst I had last week. It's a pretty laid back operation. The owner will be here a couple days a week, and other than that, it's just me and the other guy. We will be working in shifts with some overlap time. I will have to work some Saturdays, and I hope the girls will understand and deal with it. Kat is worried that I will never come watch her bowl until after tax season. I assured her that that is not the case. I will be there every other Saturday.

I got an interesting email this morning, and from someone that I hardly expected to hear from. My ex-husband got laid off from his job last week. He was actually worried about the child support for the girls. Needless to say, I am also worried, but am willing to let it go for now. That actually amazes me. I guess that means that I have forgiven him for the wrongs he has done in the past, and for all the pain he caused me oh so many years ago. I have no ill feelings towards him anymore. I am actually more concerned about him getting another job so he can support his family in Colorado. It makes me more determined to find a permanent job though. I no longer can depend on that small amount of income regularly. I haven't told the girls yet. I will try to make sure that they understand that it was not his fault, and they shouldn't be mad at him. So I guess the crappy economy can hit us from all sides. Dang.

But, regardless of the financial tailspin the lack of child support might put me in temporarily, I still have no angst this week. Maybe it's because I know that God won't let me or the girls go hungry as long as I manage His money right. Everything will be okay. Wow, me miss pessimist just said everything will be okay. Maybe I am changing.

I will probably be posting a lot for the next few weeks. I am working 12-8 for the next 3 weeks, and if business is slow, I will blog. So I guess that's it for now. I am going to find something to keep me occupied.

Endings and Beginnings

2009-01-09T08:21:00.000-08:00

Today is my last day of my temp assignment at ON Semiconductor (formerly AMIS). I am a little sad that I am leaving, although, due to the recent changes that have happened, I am not so crushed that I did not get hired permanently. I will really miss the people I have created relationships with here. I have email addresses and phone numbers, and have left my contact information, so we can still stay connected. Plus, I can still get all of those goofy jokes from Teresa.

I start my new assignment on Monday. Here is the part where God has a sense of humor. Before going to school in 2006, I worked for an accounting firm for over 9 years. So, for the past 2 1/2 years I have been adamant that I would never do anything regarding accounting. His first joke on me, of course, is that I have been the treasurer at First Baptist Church since July. Don't get me wrong. I love this particular ministry, and I am good at what I do. I wanted to do IT, and I thought that if I got back into accounting, I would stick there, because it is not unenjoyable, but not my dream job. So, here is God's second practical joke on me. Monday, I start my new assignment at.....drum roll please.....Jackson Hewitt. If you aren't familiar with the name, they are number 2 in the nation, behind H & R Block. Yes, I will be preparing tax returns for the next 3 1/2 months. To be honest, I have kind of missed the thrill of tax season. The adrenaline rush in the last 2 weeks. I know, I'm weird. At least I admit it fully.

So I will check in on Monday and update my enthusiasm on this new venture.

I promised that the last blog would be the only depressing one. And I try to keep my promises.

A Few Rantings

2009-01-08T09:46:00.000-08:00

Here I go. My first foray into the world of blogging. I'm not sure if anyone will even read this. I don't really care. This is for me to vent my ever-overflowing and always extreme emotions to protect my sanity. Right now I am pretty much a basket case, and there are quite a few reasons why.

This has been a week of transitions for me. I am ending one temp assignment tomorrow, and starting a new one on Monday. I know, a temp job. Get over it and move on. I have been at this assignment for 6 months now, and I make attachments easily. It is very hard for me to say good-bye to the wonderful people I work with. I also have anxiety over the new assignment. Will my new co-workers like me? Will I do a good job at my new assignment? The angst goes on and on.

Notice I am working temp jobs. That is another angst ridden area of my life. I have been out of college (for the second time) for 7 months, and still don't have a permanent job. You can lecture me about the economy and recession all you want, but as a single mom it's hard not to feel like a complete failure because I can't find employment that will support my children. I am working very hard to have a positive attitude about God having that perfect job for me, but I am getting desperate.

Last night some friends of mine started a new women's small group. We are studying a Perry Noble sermon series about what God thinks about women. First of all, I don't do well in groups. I have had issues with "saying something stupid," "nobody wants to talk to me," "my opinions aren't important,", etc. Most of this stems from my marriage, where I heard these things from my husband every time we went out with his friends. I know, get over it. But, no matter how hard I try, I still hear that nagging voice in the back of my head. Some wounds take a long time to totally heal. These may never heal. My second issue is I don't associate with women very well. I don't know why, but I have always gotten along with men easier. So I tend to feel very uncomfortable in a large group of women. And, when I get uncomfortable, I clam up. For those of you who know me, yes, I do stop talking once in a while. Just put me in a large group of women. I am still trying to decide if I am willing to take the step (leap) of faith and stick with this study.

I hope that I can get through this very weird, emotional week unscathed. I actually feel better now that I have vented. I promise that my next post will be more upbeat and optimistic.

Thanks for listening. My spleen is fully vented (if you don't understand that, I will explain. Just contact me).