Over It!

So last week I was dealing with the angst over the investigation for the Federal job. I was all worried about being rejected, being told no, and being turned down for yet another job. No matter how many times I am told, "Don't worry, God is in control. He will provide," I am a natural worrier. I always have been. I worry about money, jobs, my kids, and on and on and on. And, as a human, I have a fear of rejection. I think that's the worst part of job hunting. The rejection. And I've heard it all. Not enough experience, too much experience. Over qualified, under qualified. And, in this economy, it's an employer's market. They can afford to be picky.

So, I have been worried about the federal job, getting any permanent job at all, ever. Plus, my hours at the temp job are being cut in half due to slow business. So now, I have a part time job. Just one. 25 hours a week. Half the hours =half the pay. A whole lot of stuff to worry about. Suddenly, over the weekend, I got over it! God knows where he wants me to work, and He will eventually reveal it to me. That's another issue I have. I am not patient! I understand that God has a plan for me and knows where I will be going and what I will be doing, but, Dang it, why can't He at least give me a hint? I'm really not sure what happened, but it just clicked! I went from being all worried about stuff to shrugging my shoulders and saying, "It's all good. We'll be fine." I don't get it, but I am real happy that I feel better about my situation.

And my situation is: I have a temp job that will go on until April 15. I have a wonderful temp agency who keeps me employed until I can find a permanent job. I got my tax refund 3 weeks ago and am saving 50% of it as a cushion. I have a great family and church family who support me. I have some great friends at church who help me shut down the pity parties, but understand that I need a little venting time to get over my situation. My daughters are very understanding about our financial situation right now. How can I not feel blessed and content?

I will wait out the federal job. If the investigation goes through and I get the job, great! If not, oh well. There is really nothing to worry about. Que sera, sera (Sorry a little Doris Day moment). I will eventually get a permanent job, and until then, I will work steadily at the temp agency. I will save my money to send Tori on Choir Tour in March, and DCLA in June. I will save up money to send Kat to camp in July. Maybe we can even try to get out of town for a few days later in the summer. Who knows? I might even take a week off after this assignment, and take a much needed break. Remember, no vacations for temps.