Me, In A Nutshell

So, I get this question a lot, so I thought I would do a quick post about why I am still single after almost 16 years. 


For some reason, people just can't understand how I can be content to be alone and not even date. But I am. It started out to be "out of obligation," but became comfortable, and now it's just who I am.


When I got divorced, I suddenly had 3 little girls who I had to raise on my own. No help, no breaks. Well, Mom and Dad, but you know what I mean. I made a vow to those little girls that anytime I was not at work, I would be home with them. Not that they had a clue. They were 5, 3, and a newborn. Hence, why I chose to put the girls first. 


My friend and Pastor, Bill, told me that I would get married again. I laughed in his face. In love. Don't want to get on the Pastor's bad side. I asked him if he had ever taken inventory of the single men my age in this town. They all had more baggage than I did. Criminal records, mama's boys, deadbeats who couldn't hold a job, addicts of some sort. I totally didn't have the energy or patience to have another "child" around. So I waited. I actually made friends with some of the single dads at church, but that was it. We had too close of a connection with our issues raising our kids, and were just good friends. And, since they would come to me for advice about women, it seemed a little inappropriate to even think about dating any of them. 


Fast forward. The girls were getting older, and spending more time with their friends. I remember the first Friday night I was alone in the house. Sammee was at a play with friends, Tori and Kat were both spending the night at a friend's house. I sat on the couch all alone and cried. I felt so lonely. But that didn't last long. The quiet in the house turned from a heavy reminder of their absence to a sanctuary. Not that I don't love my kids. Far from it. But, the rare occasions that I had no children in the house turned into precious mommy time. I relaxed, watched movies that I knew the girls would hate, and basically revelled in the quiet. But nothing beats the sounds of a house full of girls. Whether they are dancing and singing together or fighting, those are the best sounds in the world.


Fast forward again. Sammee and Tori are grown. Kat is almost grown. I have all the time in the world. So why don't I give it a go and try dating? 2 words. Too old. Okay, 2 more words. Set in my ways. Oops, that was 4 words. 4 more words. I can't remember how. I'm fine being single. I wasn't at first. My Aunt was single my whole life. She seemed angry and bitter. When I first got divorced, I was scared that I would be just like her. Old, angry, and bitter. Didn't happen. Probably because I made a conscience choice, and made it with thought, not just "oh, well, I guess I'm stuck with these kids." Not that my aunt did that. 


So that's my story. One more thing. In the Bible, it is stated that certain people shouldn't marry so they can do God's work. The Apostle Paul never married. He wrote almost the entire New Testament. Maybe God kept me single to raise these amazing girls, and to keep me free to do the ministries I have done at First Baptist. And, just so you all know, the Drama Ministry will be kicking up again after a llllloooooonnnnggggg hiatus (like 6 years or something), and guess who's leading it? Yep.