Enough Life Lessons, Already!

So, today was a not so good day. I knew this was coming, but didn't think it would be until the end of the year. The company I work for is closing the job site until February. As of 4:00 pm on Friday, December 9, I will be unemployed. Now, I have never been laid off, never been fired. I had one job that when the contract with the temp agency expired it wasn't renewed, but that felt different. 


I am a bundle of emotions. I am sad, because I made so many friends at this job and I love all of them. I am scared, because my unemployment insurance will be about half of my regular salary. I am actually a little happy, because I can spend more time at home doing the mommy do's that have gone to the wayside because I was always so busy at work and with the kids.


Don't worry, the agency has already sent my resume to a local CPA firm for a full charge bookkeeper position. Full time, permanent. Pay cut (massive), but higher than unemployment. Note to self, NEVER, EVER say never. 5 years ago I quit my job at a CPA firm to go back to school and get my IT degree. I vowed NEVER to work for an accounting firm again. See where that got me? I have to smile through the pain at that one.


I know I will be fine. Kat will be fine. Tori will be fine. Sammee will be fine. I will get past the emotions, and maybe even allow myself a good cry. I might need one. Then I will get up, brush off the construction dust, and find a new desk to put my custom made, Tori original pencil holder, and my Russian Nesting Pigs (email me if you want details on that). 


I think Stewart Smalley (Al Franken character from SNL) said it best. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me!"

A Quick Note

So my long holiday weekend is almost over. Here are the things that I have learned.


1. If you let a child go do what their heart tells them to, it's okay. Tori's visit with her dad and step mother went very well. They had fun, went shopping, and even saw the Broadway National Tour of Lion King. She had bonding time, and got to know another part of her relatives that she hasn't seen since she was 3. I think she is a more complete person from this experience.


2. The mom must always forgive and let sleeping dogs lie. At first I had a hard time with the whole "Tori is going to Denver" thing. I worry too much. Not about standard stuff. I worried that it would be awkward, that there would be hard feelings. Totally not true. Then I was okay with the whole trip. I think I would have been more worried if Tori would have stayed in Portland for Thanksgiving. I hate for her to be lonely and away from family.


3. What am I really thankful for? At the core, I am thankful when my girls are happy and having fun. My girls are the essence of my being. I spent 15 years alone, trying to raise them the best that I could. I think I did an okay job. 


4. True friends are there regardless of what the ups and downs are in life. I have had a couple of friends who have listened to my weird ramblings and smacked up along side the back of the head (Gibbs style), and reminded me of exactly what I have. Love that!


So that's about it. Who knew that the first year that one of the girls couldn't be home for a holiday would cause me to learn so much about myself. I am strong, I am happy, my kids love me, and my family (see definition in last post) is ALWAYS there for me! 


A very Happy Holiday season to you and yours! Whoever reads this post! Friends, family, acquaintances, former friends, and people I don't even know! Everyone deserves a Merry Christmas!

Family Defined

So what is really the most important aspect of the holidays? Anyone, Bueller? Family. I have seen a lot of status updates today on Facebook, and most of them talk about spending time with family. So what defines family?

Family (n): any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents,children, uncles, aunts, and cousins.


From Dictionary.com

There were actually lots of definitions, but that one is my favorite. The rest talked about a household of related adults and children. Meh. So, not a bad definition. When we have a family dinner, it's usually up at my parents' house, so Mom, Dad, me and the 3 girls. Unless extra family is in town. 

So where am I going with this? I'm not sure yet. But this is my starting point. Tori is in Denver with her dad for Thanksgiving. Tonight she got to hang out with her Aunt Kisha. And Aunt Harriet, Uncle Aaron, Gramma Evelyn, and a whole slew of relatives that I can't remember. and they remembered me! I experienced the same thing last year when Sammee and Tori went to Denver to visit their Aunt Jacole and Aunt Lonni. Big family dinner, and all of those people remembered me too! Punkin, Collette, Breeze, Winter. I haven't seen these people for 16 years, and I am still family.

Tonight Sammee is having a bunch of friends over for dinner. She is calling it a family dinner. These people are the ones Sammee spends all of her time with. Shasta, Joey, Lakota, and lots of other friends who I know but can't remember their names. Most of her friends have already spent time with their families and want to get together tonight. Are these people really her family? They know a lot about her, she confides in them, cries with them, laughs with them. And they all call me mom. I have more "children" than I can count. 

So now to my point. Regardless of Webster's definition, family can easily be defined as a group of people who live in your heart, and share your life with you. No matter the miles that separate you or the amount of time that passes between visits, whether related by blood, marriage, or deep friendship, family is what you make it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Giving Thanks

So I survived a very short, but very full week at work. Payday is on Thursday, but this week, guess what? Thursday is a holiday! So, I had to have all time in to payroll by last Friday, audit of hours on Monday, and sort paychecks today. Plus, we had 13 lay offs today. The job is starting to wind down, so almost every week we have to lay off some workers. I hate that part. I don't actually have to give the guys their final checks, but I know these guys. They are all fun people, and the atmosphere changes when people leave.

So now my little list of what I am thankful for.

I am thankful to still have a job. I don't know for how long, but right now I live in the here and now.

I am thankful for a dependable car. Not my car, Tori's car. But, I don't need a new radiator. My cooling fan motor is dead. That's all. So thankful for minor repairs.

I am thankful that Tori is developing a relationship with her father. She is in Denver for Thanksgiving, and from the Facebook posts, she is having fun.

I am also thankful that Tori will be home in 2 weeks for Christmas. I have missed having her around and hearing her say, "Hey, mommy guess what?" in her high pitched squeaky fast voice.

I am thankful for my family. Mom, Dad, Jenn, Sammee, Tori, and Kat. Family is everything to me. I put my personal life on hold for my girls, and could not be more happy with my decision.

I am thankful for my friends. Most are acquaintances, but there are a few like Brittney and Bobi who almost know more about me than my mom.

I am also thankful for my Facebook friends. Friends from high school, college, even some celebrities. And of course family. People knock Facebook and Social Networks, but it keeps me connected to people who were a big part of my life.

I am thankful for my church family. They have helped me raise my kids, they keep me grounded, and are willing to "Gibbs" me (if you watch NCIS you will understand) in love when necessary.

And finally, I am thankful to God. Without him I am nothing, my children are nothing, life is nothing. He gets me through each day. I have had so many times when I was unemployed and I didn't know if I could pay the bills or feed the girls and the money showed up. If God was not the main part of my life, I don't know what may have happened to us.

I think that's enough for now. Continued prayers are appreciated as always. What are you thankful for?

Emotions!

So for some reason I have been emotional today. I started tearing up while driving on the jobsite. I was just driving. That's all. Well, I guess that's not all. I had just driven a co-worker to a meeting, and he told me he has a radiator for me, cheap. Now, here is the deal. He will buy it for me, and refuse repayment. These guys do this to me all the time. And, I think that another co-worker is paying for the repairs. Again, refusing repayment. Last year, a bunch of the guys got me new tires, and another paid for the installation. One of the general foremen gave me $100 to buy the girls stuff for Christmas, just because. Construction workers are some of the most generous, caring people I have ever met. And, they take care of everyone they work with.

It is also a holiday week. I always get a little emotional this time of year, but mainly because my family is so important to me. And, this is the first year all 3 girls will not be home for a major holiday. Tori couldn't make it home from Portland, especially since she will be home for Christmas in 2 weeks. So, she is off tomorrow for an adventure in Denver with her father. We will miss her, but I am so glad she has somewhere to go.

Kat is in the middle of finals for her first trimester. After tomorrow, she will no longer be a Pocatello Indian. On Monday she will be a Century Diamondback. I really hope this change is good for her. She seems to be taking school more seriously nowadays. That's a good thing.

Sammee is sick. Her throat is closed up, and she has no voice at all. She went to the doctor today (surprise), and they don't know what is wrong, but it is not strep or mono. Mom took her a care grocery bag of pudding, Jell-O, mashed potatoes, soup, and a bunch of other stuff that just slides down the gullet. I sure hope she is better by Thursday.

So these are my emotions, and welcome to them. I will be okay, grateful, and humbled by the love around me. Always.

Oh, the Trials and Tribulations!

So here is my story from yesterday. I was taking Kat and her friend, Jasmine, to Jasmine's house. I had a staff appreciation dinner, and Jasmine's mom said Kat could spend the night so I could feel free to hang out with my friends from work. We stopped at a convenience store near the house to get the girls some sodas. I ran in, and when I came out, steam and antifreeze were spewing from the hood and grill of the Jeep. My radiator blew. Put enough water in to drive it home, then transferred to Tori's Tempo. Not really sure if I need a new radiator or not, but rolling with that scenario. So my poor Jeeper Creeper sits in the driveway, sad because he cannot drive around Poky. And Boyde, the Tempo, is happy because he is once again roaming Pocatello. Regardless of what the repairs will be, I have to save up before I can do anything. Oh, well, the life of a single mom.

In other news, my week on FaceBook has been unusual. At least for me. On Tuesday, posted a random status update. I received comments from a college friend and a high school friend. On and on it went, and suddenly the two of them are now FB friends. Last night posted about the Jeep. My best friend here in town and a friend from San Francisco (I have actually never met him. He is the partner of one of my best friends from college) started chatting while commenting on my post, and are now FB friends. And, the college friend (the one from Tuesday) joined in, and is now friends with both. So, if you are my FB friend, and want to find a new unknown friend, comment on one of my status updates. Chances are, you will befriend one of my other friends.

I just love how funny and unpredictable the world is. And, I love that people can connect through the internet who have never even met. I love my life, I love my friends, and I love their friends!

Tourney, Day 2

So, Kat had day 2 of the Junior/Adult tournament. Both Mom and Dad came again. my dad just cracks me up. He and Kat verbally jab at each other constantly, but it is totally in love, and they giggle a lot while poking. Dad liked saying things like, "Nine? Nine? Why can't you knock down 10 pins at once?" And the response? "Shut up, grampa!" Giggle, giggle. They even made up a high five thingy. High five, low five, fist bump, fireworks. Silly family.

So on to the important stuff. Last night Kat didn't know anyone on her lane. This afternoon she got to bowl with her friend Tyler and his grandpa Gene. Gene is a friend of my parents, and Kat has been bowling with Tyler since she started bowling. made for a fun afternoon. And now for the scores. Kat: 138, 152, 146. Larry: 198, 255, and 256.

Kat has this new thing that has happened 3 times in the past 2 days. On the last frame of the last game she would pick up the spare, then throw a strike. She did this on the last game of league play, the last game last night, and the second game today. On the last frame of the last game today she struck out. Yes folks, that means 3 strikes in the 10th frame. And, my father said, "That's how we do it!" Kat's biggest fan.

So this is how I spend my weekends, folks. I love this part of my life. Watching my child so something that she loves and has a passion for is the end all, beat all of parenthood. All of my girls' passions thrill me, but Kat's is so different from Sammee and Tori's that it is more special.

So bring on the spares, strikes, and gutter balls! Saturdays are awesome!

I Love Bowling Tournaments!

Just got home from Kat's first squad of the Junior/Adult Bowling Tournament. It was citywide, so we got to see a bunch of people that we only see at city tournaments. Of course, Kat's coach was there, but he bowled at the other end of the lanes. Kat had quite a fan club there. Me, her friends Cora, Ebony, and Jasmine, and Mom and Dad even came. She ended up on Lanes 1 and 2, which kind of tilt at Tough Guy Lanes.

Her partner, my co-worker Larry, was very nice and met the folks. They both bowled very well. Kat bowled 141, 138, and 151. Larry bowled 161, 203, and 202, I think. Kat's average is currently 132. So, not too shabby. They both had fun, and had the best scores on their lane.

Also, there was a little girl named Mazee who was in her first year bowling without bumpers. She beat her dad in at least one game, and did the cutest little dance when she picked up a spare. I love watching little kids bowl!

One more thing. My friend Holly's son, Jayden, who is in 6th grade, bowled a 189 game which included 5 strikes in a row. Can you say excited kid? And, his average is 128.

So, tomorrow we will be back for another squad at 1:00 pm. I will update the scores later tomorrow. I don't know if there are any actual awards like trophies or medals or anything, but it is quite fun to do.

Laters!

Life Lessons

So, I have an unexpected day off from work. No, I didn't get laid off. Veteran's Day is a paid holiday for one of the unions, so the Project Managers closed the jobsite for the day. Unfortunately, it is not a paid holiday for me. But, I shall revel in the quiet, and the chance to rest, and do a few things that I don't get to normally do during the week. Working 7-5:30 5 days a week makes it hard to take care of business at places that are open from 8-5. I think I'm going to lunch with my friend Bobi, stopping by church for a bit, and basically puttering. It's a good thing that I don't have to work today. Tomorrow I will probably just live at the bowling alley. Kat has regular league bowling at 11, then a Junior/Adult tournament at 5. One of my co-workers is bowling with her. They are both excited for this.

So, for right now, I am not able to work overtime. I have worked overtime since I started this job in August 2010. It is a huge financial hit, but instead of freaking out, I am strategizing, thinking, budgeting, and pretty much okay with it. This is only temporary, and as soon as the customer gives the okay, life will go back to normal. Whatever that is. Christmas may be sparse this year, but for my family it's not about the presents, it's about family. Especially this year with Tori being in Portland. By the way, she will be home in a month!!! WOOT!!!!

In other news, since Kat's IEP (Individual Education Plan) was cancelled last November for her dyslexia, she has struggled a lot with her classes. Unfortunately, most of her teachers think she is cured. You know, because her dyslexia is like the flu. Maybe a little more like diabetes. Anyway, we have been fretting a bit, because the State of Idaho requires her to pass standardized tests to graduate. Thank you, No Child Left Behind (I won't expand on my thoughts on this, that is a rant for another time). Right now, she can't pass without accommodations due to her dyslexia. I was told that she can take a path to get an "Alternate Diploma." Basically a patronizing pat on the head to say, "you tried your best, and this is not a real diploma, but it's close." I found out last night that Idaho has no Alternate Diploma. The School district is required to offer a student that will not pass the ISATS an alternate path to prove that they have mastered the skills necessary to graduate. If they pass the alternate path, they get a diploma. A REAL diploma. *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!* I am still going to try to get her help to pass the ISATS, but it's nice to know that she can still graduate.

So that's my update for now. continue to pray for my finances, for Tori to find a job, for Kat to do well in school, and for Sammee to graduate in May. Thank you all for reading my blog and for supporting me. And a special thank you to all the people who have served and are still serving our country. Your sacrifice is what keeps us free!

The Not So Weekly Update

So once again I am a blog slacker. Last weekend ended up being full of phone calls and updates from Tori regarding her grandparents' visit to Portland. Then my standard week happened. 10 hour work days, homework with Kat at night, and bowling on Saturday. Which leads us back to Sunday. Oh yeah, that's today. Today was laundry. That's about it.

So here is the latest Wortham news. Kat is doing a Junior/Adult tournament next weekend here in Poky. She really wanted me to bowl with her, but that would have been very bad. One of my co-workers, Larry, bowls on at least 3 leagues here in town, and jumped at the chance to bowl with Kat. This should be a lot of fun. They bowl at 5 pm on Saturday and 1 pm on Sunday.

Tori is definitely going to Denver for Thanksgiving. I am very excited for her on this journey. First, she has only flown twice, and both times with Sammee. I should write a note for the person who sits next to her, telling them that she is a nervous person, but is very sweet and might just need her hand held. Just kidding, she will be fine. And, she will get to see her Aunt CoCo while she is there, and maybe even her Granny Byrd. It was very generous of her dad and his wife to extend this invitation. I can hardly wait to hear the adventures.

Speaking of Tori, she will be coming home one month from Tuesday! YAY! Pocatello sure has been quieter and less random without her. No one else has random dance parties in the frozen food section of Fred Meyer. I may have to force her to hold a dance party or maybe even organize a flash mob while she's home. and, she will be home for a whole month!

And, my jobsite is probably closing down completely the week between Christmas and New Year's. Less money in my pocket, but more time with my girls and parents. WOOT!

So that is my sorta weekly update. I will post more after Kat's tourney next weekend. The way she bowls and her passion for the sport, who knows, maybe she will go pro and be the child who takes care of her mom in her old age. Hah!