Had a Great Day!

Well, I survived my first harvest. For the most part. There are still yields to process, but payroll is going down, and the workload is dwindling. Maybe I can finally tackle all of the piles of paper that have accumulated during harvest. I am drowning in grain tickets and mileage logs. I still love my job, and still want to continue working for the farm. I certainly have learned a lot about agriculture!

This week the radio station I listen to (when Kat isn't in the car) had a contest going on. Be caller 10 and you get your name in a drawing for an IPod nano. I was late leaving work today, and just as I was getting on the freeway my cell phone rang. It was the radio station telling me that I won the IPod! Kat told my mom last week that she wants an Ipod nano for Christmas. That's the only reason that I called in. Now mom and I have 1/3 of Christmas taken care of. Tori will be hard. She either wants a professional level camera or a laptop. I think that I get the laptop first, so that will probably be her graduation gift.

I can't believe that I am talking about Christmas already. Didn't New Year's just happen? Wasn't I just unemployed? This year has just flown by. But in a good way. I am ready to finish this year and start a new one. Not that this has been a bad year. I just keep moving forward in life, and am anticipating more blessings.

So in a nutshell, I love my job, my kids are great, the year is moving too fast, and life is good again. And, back to the last boring post about finances, That, too, is improving.

Will I Ever Slow Down?!?

So, once again, it's been a month since I blogged last. Harvest is super busy, but the good news is that it should be over in about a week. Then the payroll will go way down, and I can concentrate on wading through the pile of papers that have sprung up all over my office. This year I am overwhelmed by the whole process, but I am already formulating plans for next year to make it a slightly easier process.

Meanwhile at home, money has become a huge issue. It is taking me longer than I thought it would to get used to the new pay schedule. Each pay period gets a little better than the last. Like, I haven't had to ask my mom to fill my car up at all between the 16th and now. Pay day is on Friday, and I have enough gas to get to work and back till then. I am trying to be the "tough mom," and say no to everything. I think starting this payday, I am just going to blame Dave Ramsey for everything. "Dave said no, it's not in the budget!" That always irritates them, but it shuts them up! Thanks, Dave!!

For any of you who don't know who Dave Ramsey is, he is a financial guru, who has helped thousands of people get out of debt forever! His Financial Peace University and Total Money Makeover programs are used around the country. He has his own radio talk show, and a show on Fox Business Network. And, he's funny. Gotta have the funny.

So I am working on my budget, and trying to start to say "NO!" to the girls again. And, with harvest ending, I promise to blog more often. As long as I don't get blown off the freeway this winter. Winds are bad, but God's got my back!

Whoa! Busy much?

So I just realized that it's been 1 1/2 months since I blogged. September has been absolutely nuts! So was the last half of August. So here we go.

The girls went back to school on the 24th. Tori is a senior and Kat's in 8th grade. We had scheduling issues (I covered that in my last rant), and IEP issues with Kat's teachers. On the 27th, my sister had her first baby. A girl named Ava Lillian. So, my parents were gone over Labor Day weekend to go visit Jennifer in Portland. I was the sole caregiver for my grandma, who is 106. No, really, and she lives on her own. In fact, Sunday is her birthday. And she survived my caregiving and is ready for cake and ice cream. Then we had a small issue with Gma2 (that's what the girls call her. It stands for grandma squared. Cute, huh?) and her health. That issue is pretty much over now. Then there is work. Harvest is in full swing, and I am buried with work, which all has to be done at the same time, and NOW!!! I will get all the kinks figured out this year, and hopefully next year I will have an actual system going so I can get everything done on time. Add to that high school homecoming, AP classes, early morning show choir, and, this week, ISU (Idaho State University) homecoming, and my plate is so full that I can't lift it!

I am not complaining. I love that my girls are involved in activities. It makes them learn to manage their time, and they get to meet new people and make different friends. Sometimes it can be taxing on the taxi mom. I think that was a joke. Not sure. I forgot to mention one more activity that has once again invaded our lives. Kat started bowling again 2 weeks ago. The bad part is that her ball cracked (and I mean Grand Canyon size crack) because it lived in the car all summer, and the temperature changes caused it to. So she needed a new ball. Mom got her one, and the kid even chose a reasonably priced ball. It's pretty purple and black marbled. Very shiny. And, it's sized just for her. She got her fingers measured for the holes and everything. Plus, we got a 10% discount because she's on a league! WOO HOO!!!! So now Saturdays are filling up timewise. But it's fun. Mom usually comes, and Tori will come sometimes too. She loves to cheer on Kat. And, with her new ball, Kat is bowling almost 20 pins above her average! That's awesome.

So now we come to this week. Work, church, school stuff, and Mom and Dad are gone again. Since it's almost Shorty's birthday (that's my name for her), my mom's sister (yes, my aunt) is in town for a week. Every time Aunt Beth comes to town, my dad takes my mom out of town. That's her only break from taking care of Shorty. Usually during this time of year, she goes to Kentucky to visit Dad. But he didn't get an acting job there this year. So they are in New England "to see the fall foliage." Funny, I didn't know trees changed color in quaint antique stores. My dad is also an antique dealer, so that is part of the itinerary. I am in charge of Shorty next Wednesday, because Aunt Beth leaves on Tuesday evening and Mom and Dad get home on Thursday. I think she will survive.

So you should all be caught up now. I promise that I won't go so long without blogging. I ramble less when I blog more often. Got to go make a reminder to call Dad tomorrow night. It's his birthday. Happy Birthday Dad and Shorty!!!

Baby or No Baby?

My sister is pregnant. She has been for 9 months. Her due date is today. No baby. I never told her this (and probably shouldn't include this because she reads my blog), but I think a late first baby is standard in our family. I am the older sibling, and I was 2 weeks late. Samantha, my oldest, was 12 days late. I would never wish a late baby on anyone, mainly because of how stressful it is to see the due date quickly fall into the past. And the comments you get when you are out and about. "When are you due?" "Last week." "Oh, you poor thing! You must be frantic with worry!" Yeah, that always makes the expectant mom feel better (comment dripping with sarcasm). At least I have been there, and can support her and James until Ava does make her grand entrance. And, 19 years ago, inducement didn't happen until the baby was 2 weeks late. Now they don't wait so long.

On another note, when the baby does come, Mom and Dad will drive to Portland for a few days. My mom's sister, who usually comes to help with my grandma, won't be coming to town for this event. So, Sam, Tori, Kat and I will be in charge of Shorty (my pet name for gramma). For those of you who don't know, my gramma lives next door to me, and is 106 years old. No, that's not a typo. She was born in 1902. She is still alive, still sharp as a tack, and lives on her own. Sort of. Samantha lives in her basement. Sort of. It will only be for a few days, but there is a schedule involved. She must have dinner at a certain time, and then there is the ice cream. Every night, between 8 and 9 pm, it is ice cream time. And she's 106. Don't you dare deny her ice cream. And, with me working in American Falls (about 1/2 hour drive from where I live), I am a little nervous about getting her taken care of. The girls will have to step up and help some during the day. Plus, there is the nasty topic of what to do if she doesn't wake up. That is my one main fear. And the big fear is that one of the girls will have to deal with this, and I will be 1/2 hour away. But the office is on alert, and when Mom and Dad leave, my boss will know. I have already been told that accommodations will be made if I have to come in late or leave early. I love it when people understand the importance of family.

In closing (I always wanted to say that), Ava Lillian Willecke-Bell better show up soon, because I want to be an Auntie. By the way, she will have to pronounce it awntie not antie. With my name (Andrea) the hard A just sounds stupid.

Back to School, Part Deux

Got the girls registered for school tonight. 15 minutes for Kat, the 8th grader. 1 1/2 hours for Tori, the high school senior. And Tori's fees were almost 3 times Kat's. And we are not finished paying them yet. And there will be senior pictures, graduation announcements, cap and gown, all night party tickets. But I digress. I did not intend this blog to be a gripe about how much "free" public education costs. I intend to gripe about how hard it is to change a high school schedule.

Let me start by stating some things about the school district that my girls attend. The fees, for the most part, are not bad. Activity fee, senior dues, locker fee, yearbook, choir robe cleaning fee. All pretty much standard. The two fees that I have an issue with are the picture fee and the participation fee. When I was in school, you had your picture taken and it went into the yearbook. When Sammee (the 19 year old) started high school, there was a fee from $1 to $6 photo fee. I asked, and was told that it was to put the photo in the yearbook. Strange. We pay for the school pictures, then pay for them to go into the yearbook? Oh, yeah, and pay for the yearbook! At Tori's school, the photo fee for seniors is $12. Not only do they put the photo in the yearbook, but they make a giant class photo and put it on the wall in the high school. A cool tradition (even though my class is the only one missing). There are classes from the 1910's on the wall at school. But, please! $12 for a picture that I will pay hundreds for the sitting fee? Ack!!!

The other fee is slightly ridiculous. The participation fee is for athletes, cheerleaders, and any other group who might use a bus for travel. It was implemented after the war started in Iraq and gas prices started to rise. It's purpose is to offset the gas and maintenance on the buses. Okay. But, the other groups who get charged for this are drama, choir, band, debate, all classes. And most of the time if there is travelling involved, it is for a grade. When Sammee started high school, the fee was waived for low income families, which were families who received free or reduced lunch. I am a single mom, therefore lower income. Sammee's junior year, I was informed that the waiver was removed, and all students had to pay the full fee. By the way, over 50% of the students in our district received free or reduced lunch. So the district wasn't getting enough money in participation fees. Unfortunately for me, Sammee was in band, choir, debate, and drama. There is one fee for the first activity, and one for all the others. So 2 fees in all. But, those fees added up to almost $100. That's a lot of money for a single parent. If Tori would have been in Senior Choir, no fee. But Gate City Singers (the show choir) required the fee. Again, Ack!!!

Again, I digress. This blog is about scheduling conflicts. We register. Tori gets her schedule. She has Gate City. But no Senior Choir, which is a requirement to be in Gate City. So off we go to the counselor's office. And we wait. For almost 1/2 hour. The counselor will see us now. It's a simple request. Put Tori in Senior Choir. Oops, forgot about the wrinkle. She is in National Honor Society. She must take at least 2 AP classes to graduate with honors. She currently has AP Statistics and English 101. Senior Choir is 3rd hour. AP Stats is 1st hour. English 101 is offered 1st and 3rd hour. Issue. The counselor is new to high school, so she doesn't realize that one AP class can't just go away. We argue and argue. Then the counselor in charge of NHS comes in, says that Tori can take English 101 online. We free up 2nd hour for her so she can do it at school (the laptop is still dead, and it will be a couple of months before it will be replaced). AP Stats 1st hour, English 101 2nd, Senior Choir 3rd, and she was even able to throw in a pottery class. Tori is happy, I am exhausted, and the counselor probably never wants to see me again. Oh, well. We will be back next trimester.

This blog is probably the longest I have ever done, but I had a lot to say. I am just glad that everything ended on a semi-happy note. Only semi-happy because Tori was half an hour late to youth group. Luckily the school is across the street from the church. But, like I said, the girls are registered for school. Next step, school supplies and Sammee's sophmore year of college. I might need a series on those moments.

2 weeks until school!

It's August 10. School starts for all three girls in two weeks. Summer stock is over, church camp is over, DCLA happened, and the summer is winding down. Every year the summer seems to get shorter and shorter. Except last summer. Nothing makes time drag like being unemployed with a fresh Associate's Degree, and most companies laying off, not hiring. But i digress.

In reflecting on the summer, i noticed that Sammee has matured more this summer than any other year. The responsibilities she had at Idaho Summer Repertory really made her have to grow up and act like an adult. And i think the bug has bitten her. I told her at the beginning of the summer that she would either love it or hate it. No one walks away from a summer theatre season thinking, "Yeah, that was fun." It's either "when does next season start", or "I am NEVER doing that again!" She is talking about doing another summer stock. How has she matured, you ask? First, I didn't have to wake her up at all this summer. Then, when her car broke down, she negotiated with the mechanic to set up a payment plan. Then she followed through with the payments. She is already making sure that she has everything together for financial aid, and she has Federal jury duty in September, and is taking it seriously. I am so proud of her and her accomplishments!

Sam is not the only one who has matured. Tori changed a lot over the summer. Since coming back from DCLA, she has developed even more of a heart for service. She has even recruited 2 of her friends to help with children's ministry. She is also trying to figure out what to do after high school. And, next summer, she is determined to work at Idaho Summer Repertory. Theatre is not her first love, but she loves singing, dancing, and making people happy and entertaining them. Acts of service is her love language, after all. She was so excited to show her friends how many people serve God behind the scenes. It's not just the preacher, the praise team, and the band. It's the sound people, media people, the person who was at the door who said hi. There are lots of ways to serve without ever being noticed. See, even introverts can serve in ministry.

Kat is in a back and forth stage. She's 13, and is torn between doing what she knows is right, and pleasing her friends. Tori went through this, and so did Sam. Junior high is so hard. I am just waiting until she starts high school. Plus, junior highers tend to annoy me. I deal with high school age kids much easier. But I am trying. She will be fine, because she has a wonderful support system at church.

It's funny that I started my blog talking about how the girls are changing, and in the middle talked about serving in ministry. I tend to ramble most of the time. Maybe I should change my blog name to "I ramble, therefore I am."

The Week that Was

Tori is home from camp. Kat is home from camp. The summer theatre season will end in 2 weeks. And I just realized that school starts in a month for all 3 of the girls. Where did the year go? Tori is going to be a senior! Where did my life go? Am I really old enough to have an adult child? Don't answer that!

I am suddenly having the standard parent moment of "where did the time go? Did I spend enough time with my children before they grew up? Have I properly taught them the skills to be productive members of society? What mistakes will they make? Have they learned from my mistakes? What will I do if they move out of Pocatello?" These are just a few of the questions running through my head.

I think my concerns for my kids have to do with today's sermon. At our church we are in the middle of the Blockbusters series. Simply put, take the top movies of the summer and find the spiritual undertones of said movie. Today's movie was "The Proposal." And Karl, our worship leader and today's preacher, focused on the family aspect of the movie. So he talked about the importance of family in spiritual growth, both the biological family and the church family. Hence the questions about my parenting skills. I'm not perfect and I know that. But was my best effort good enough? I sure hope so. I probably won't know for a few years.

I have raised these girls alone for the past 13+ years, so I am all full of doubt. I do know one thing though. If I didn't have my amazing church family, my chances of the girls growing up right would have been slim to none. They may not have their fathers in their lives, but they have so many father figures at church that it's crazy. Sam and Tori even joke that they will have to pull a name out of a hat to decide which one of the men at church will walk them down the aisle at their weddings. Talk about family!

My church family has seen me through some very bad times, and some amazingly happy times. And I thank them for that, and will be eternally grateful for them. So if you have a church family who is there for you, take a moment and thank God for putting them in your life. I know I do.

And Yet More to my Week

I usually don't post more than once a week (if I'm doing good), but my week has just gotten more interesting. And again, I will NEVER say that my life is boring!!!

Sam's car has been acting up, so she took it into the mechanic yesterday. She has a very interesting problem with her Camaro. She has no fan. You know, the fan by the radiator that cools the engine when it gets too hot. It is not in the car. The mechanic said that when it fell out, she would have known. She would have freaked out and called me in a panic, so I'm thinking that the fan was gone when she bought the car. Since it sat in the driveway from September till June, we have no way of knowing. Add in a belt that was screeching, and we are looking at $400 in repairs. Yay. That is one week's pay for me. We have set up a payment plan with the mechanic, who my father has been going to since before I was born. So she is without a car for a few days while they find a fan for her car. She has had her first real dose of real life, and she doesn't like it. Time for the budget talk. Ack. I so am not ready for this. She is a free spirit who must spend the money she has RIGHT NOW!!!

Tomorrow is Friday. I would love it to be a "boring" day. But who knows.

What a week!!!

I know, it's only Wednesday, but my week has already been full of excitement. Remember a few posts ago when I said I felt boring? God has been showing me just how unboring I really am.

On Saturday Mom and I drove to Ketchum and back to pick up Kat from church camp and drop off Tori at the same camp. For those of you outside the great state of Idaho, Ketchum, also known as Sun Valley, is about a 4 hour drive from Pocatello, where I live. So we had an 8 hour drive on Saturday. It was actually a fun drive. My family has a lot of fun on car rides. My mom was counting the dead skunks as we went along, and Tori was tweeting the count. I think we were at 8 or 9 by the time we hit camp. Then, of course, Kat talked our ears off about camp the whole drive back.

Sunday I did multi media at church. Plus we had baptisms, and I help the people who light the candles for the person being baptized. If you would like more info on this tradition, just comment and I will explain further. Plus I had to do treasurer stuff after the second service. So at one point I was up in the sound booth and down in the worship center at the same time. Can you say clone me for multi ministry? After church I just relaxed because I was completely shagged out.

Monday started out normal. Until I got to work. For some reason, everyone needed to be in my office all day. My stack of stuff to do kept growing but I got nothing accomplished. The funny part is that on my drive home (1/2 hour) I remembered a part of Sunday's sermon. Easy to remember, since I heard it twice. Karl was preaching about the movie "Night at the Museum 2" and was talking about his daughter's pet chinchilla running on it's wheel. Then it hit me. I was that dang chinchilla on a wheel at work.

Tuesday started out very bad. I woke up to a dead laptop and a dead guinea pig. Ick. And, I couldn't dispose of the rodent because the 13 year old was spending the night at my mom's, and I have disposed of a dead rodent without the girls' knowledge before. Not pretty. The hysterics are much smaller with discovery than an empty cage. So I left it. Got the magical phone call in the afternoon. Tears for a bit, then over it. She even went to a friend's house and spent the night. And I have to come up with the money to fix the laptop. I would love to just get a new one, but I think it will cost a little less to fix the old one. Then the 19 year old calls saying that her car randomly turns off when she is driving. It is in the shop right now. I am not looking forward to that one either.

Today I had to help coordinate CPR training at work. And at 3pm, I suddenly decided to take the training too. I left work at 6 instead of 5. Can you say tired?

The upside to all of this? I discovered that I am NOT boring. And, God, I am sorry for saying that. I am an interesting person who has a strangely exciting life. No, I don't go on exciting vacations to exotic places, but my life is very interesting. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

Here's to loving life, whatever the circumstances!

Miscellaneous Ramblings

Kat is at camp this week. I really do miss her. I know that she is having a great time, but the house is too quiet. Tori is (of course) hanging out with her friends. She did do some laundry today to pack for camp. Sometimes I wish I had time to do laundry. I'm just glad that my girls have learned to do their own laundry. I just have to fight my way to the washer.

By the way, I am loving my new job. I fit in, personality wise, and am picking up on the routine and procedures quickly. The best thing I have heard is one of the ladies that works at the temp agency told me that she met one of the guys that works for another company that is associated with the farm I work at. He raved about the great job I was doing. I was convinced that he didn't even remember my name. That makes me feel like I am really doing the job I was hired to do.

Don't get me wrong. I still want to combine my IT degree and my Theatre Management degree. I would LOVE to work in professional theatre as a geek. And a House Manager. Or a Box Office Manager. Or any type of manager. I manage. It's what I do. Of course, I am amazed that I am organized when I manage, but my life is so disorganized that I can't keep my children's schedules straight, much less coordinate them. Maybe it's the difference between work and personal life. I don't know.

Someday, I keep telling myself, I will do my dream job. Not sure if that is IT director for a professional theatre, or for a church. Either one works for me. But, until that happens, I love whatever job I am doing. The main thing is the people. I love the people I work with, and I will always cherish the memories I will get from this job. Did I ever mention that I am learning about the world of farming? Grew up in Idaho, lived in farm land for 22 ish years, never learned much about farming and the complexities. Who knew?

Back in the Biz....sorta.

For the past couple of years I have talked about getting back into theatre. I'll audition for a play at Westside. Maybe I'll see if I can usher at ISU, yada, yada, yada. But that's all it has been...talk. Until now. Sammee has been working full time at ISU this summer as the Company Assistant for the Summer Repertory Theatre. She called me today to ask if I would help usher for some shows this summer. Upside, free admission to the show. Downside, can't really think of one right now. So I said yes. Partly because I love my daughter, and will help her in any way I can to succeed in what she wants to do, and partly because, it's a foot in the door, and I may be able to help more in the future. Fast forward a couple of hours. Kat and I brought popcorn up to the PAC (Performing Arts Center, get used to the acronym), because Tori felt that all of the out-of-towners needed to experience Popcorn Shop popcorn. While talking to the producer, Chad, I offered to House Manage if he needed it. He said "Okay, you're on." So I am now house managing. I am not sure if it is just for Seussical or for the whole season. I'll find out tomorrow.

For those of you who don't know, 20 years ago I graduated from college with a BFA in Theatre Management, fully intending to be running a theatre some day. 20 years, one marriage, one divorce, and 3 daughters later, I had not worked in theatre since graduation. But the drive and hunger were always there. I led the Drama Ministry at church for a few years, and dabbled in improv. But I never actually got to even try to work in the field that I went to school for for 4 years. I kept vowing that I would do something in theatre, but, in Pocatello, the culture capital of the world (hahaha)? Luckily for me, a friend from college, who became a professional actor, decided to start a professional summer theatre here in town. Plus, I seem to have become friendly with the staff up at the PAC.

I know, this is not running a theatre on Broadway, but the bug has caught me again. I just hope that Sammee doesn't think I'm trying to muscle in on her turf. So tomorrow I reenter the wonderful world of theatre. Don't forget to tell me to break a leg.

All By Myself

It's Friday night, and I am home alone. Not in a Macauly Caulkin kind of way. Tori is in LA at DCLA, a Christian youth conference, and Kat went to Bear Lake with a friend and her family for the weekend. So, here I am, alone in the house. A couple of years ago, I would have been freaking out. Tonight, I am revelling in the quiet. I didn't stay home though. I went on a "date" with Sammee. We went to Old Town Actor's Studio to see "Dr. Faustus." I love Shakespeare, but Christopher Marlow, well.....it was a well acted performed play.

Now it's Saturday. I had a wonderful non mom day. I had what I wanted for lunch, then got to have dinner with my friend Bobi. My non mom time ends tomorrow evening. I'm not sure what time Kat will be home, but she will be home tomorrow, and Tori and the crew will be home from LA on Monday morning. As much as I am enjoying my time without them, I do miss them. The house is unusually quiet right now. And I find myself talking to the dog, the guinea pigs, and even the TV.

Tori is having a blast at the conference. I haven't gotten a lot of information from her, but the bits and pieces i have received have included last night's main assembly called the Big Room. Tori was interviewed on Friday and was on the big screen. She won a water bottle answering trivia questions, and she got the drumstick of the worship band drummer. She even found an orange cover for her cell phone during the week (for those of you who know Tori, orange is very important, and a huge victory). I anticipate listening to her for an entire week, hearing tales of the conference.

And, her love for service has risen up again. When she gets home, we HAVE to put together popcorn boxes for the two families who housed them this week and for the bus driver who did such a good job this week. I forgot to mention that on Thursday, as the crew was leaving Orange County for LA, the brakes went out on the bus. The driver took out a vine, injured no one on the bus or on the street, and did not damage any other vehicles. Tori is a bit grateful. And, the bus driver is from Blackfoot, Idaho. I love my daughter's heart for others. So next week, we will get cards and popcorn to send to all of these people.

I feel honored to have the children God gave me. My kids have the largest hearts for others that I have met. And I am not just saying that because I'm Mom. I have seen Kat in tears because, regardless of her efforts, she is not influencing a friend the way she is trying to. I have seen Tori in tears because she can't help someone like she wants to. I have seen Sammee in tears because she can't please someone. I love their hearts.

I think I have babbled on enough about my amazing kids. Always remember as your kids grow up to look at the positive aspects of your children. Sometimes the positive overruns the negative.

DCLA Freedom!

I shipped Tori off to Los Angeles with 34 other teens and adults to attend a Christian Youth Conference known as DCLA. The group left last night at 6:00, and arrived in LA at 9:00 this morning, Pocatello time. This was a huge undertaking on our parts.

First, when Tori decided that she wanted to go in January, I was working part time at a tax prep company. Not enough money to pay the bills, much less find extra money to pay for a trip to LA. And then there was the spending money issue. I know, God has a very large wallet, and his budget is WAY bigger than mine. But, I am also a realist. I have spent 13 years being a single mom living below the poverty level. However, God has shown up before and blessed my girls financially for ministry opportunities.

Four years ago Sammee and Tori decided they wanted to go on tour with the Continentals. For those of you who haven't heard of the Continentals, it's a Christian singing/dancing group that tours the country. They have groups for ages 12-16, 17-21, an acting troupe, and a group for 25 and older. They tour the US and Europe. The only requirements were that you could sing and dance a bit. The catch? We had to raise over $3,000 each in only 4 months. And that did not include plane tickets or spending money. I was very discouraged, but the girls got rolling. Donations started pouring in from church family, relatives, friends. The girls sold popcorn at church (of course, from the Popcorn Shop), and we had a yard sale. Mom helped out, of course, mostly with airfare and spending money. God showed up, and they raised all the money they needed to. And the girls had an amazing experience! They even mentioned some of the kids who were there because Mom and Dad just wrote a check.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere, really. Just reminding myself that God shows up when you are doing what He tells you to do. Do I think that God told Sam and Tori to go on tour? Yes! Strange as it seems, Continentals was their version of a mission trip. You don't have to go somewhere and build a school for underprivileged children to be on a mission trip. You just have to show Jesus to people who might not know him.

Tori may not be on a mission trip this time, but I know God told her to go to DCLA. At this conference she will learn new things to help her bring her friends to Jesus. She already brings her friends to Youth Group and church. In fact, she dated a boy and he joined the Praise Band. I think God helped us get the money for DCLA to assist Tori in being a leader in youth group next year. As a senior, she has the leadership qualities to do an awful lot for the Kingdom.

Okay, I think I am done for now. As I get updates from Los Angeles, I will post the amazing stuff that happens to the kids from First Baptist Church Pocatello.

Why do I feel boring?

I have been having a hard time blogging recently. I have decided that the main reason I don't blog as often right now is that I think my life is boring now. Well, less exciting, less stuff to talk about. I got a permanent job, so no more ranting about the job hunt, people who won't hire me, etc. No yakking about how God is taking care of me and the girls even though I am making no money. My life is now just "blah."



I do have some news though. I found out yesterday that Sammee will be working all summer at ISU's Summer Reperatory Theatre as the Artistic Director/Producer's personal assistant. She is so excited about that! Also, Tori found out that there is a part that Blair wants her to do in "All Shook Up." I'm not really sure how she will go about auditioning for it, or if she has to. That part of their phone conversation was a bit fuzzy. And, Sammee is doing "Oh, Dad, Poor Dad. Momma's Hung You in the Closet, and I'm Feeling So Sad" (yes, that is the name of a play) at the Westside this summer. I would like to tell her that she is over scheduled, but she is an adult now, and must make her own scheduling decisions.

Well, that's it for now. More boring news as it becomes available.

In the Immortal Words of Alice Cooper....

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!!!!! I really think my girls really needed the 3 month break. The last few weeks of school they were impossible to get out of bed. They wouldn't do homework or anything. All they wanted to do was hang out with friends. The last day was Thursday. Tori had to be up at 7 am on Friday for graduation rehearsal (she is in the choir, not graduating until next year).

One of the things I am looking forward to is getting to work earlier. I know, that sounds weird, but it makes me feel good to get to work on time. Plus, I really want to be kept on when my 90 day probationary period is up in July. I know I was whining about driving to American Falls, working so far away from the girls, it wasn't an IT job, yada, yada, yada. But, I really enjoy it there. I fit in personality wise, I am catching on quickly, I am making small changes that are being accepted, and some of my computer skills are being utilized. I am even learning a lot about agriculture. That is a much slower process.

So all in all I am feeling pretty good. I will get used to the drive, the girls will get used to the schedule, and my bosses are more flexible than I thought they would be. Plus, I am finally getting my finances in order. That is the biggest thing. I am finally able to pay my bills by myself. I haven't been able to do that for 3 years!

I will check back in as the summer progresses to update on the "boredom" the girls will experience this summer. That's just the standard word I hear all summer long.

Where is my free time?

I just realized that it's been almost a whole month since my last post. I guess that's what I get for landing a full time job finally. If I thought life was busy with 3 kids and all of their stuff, I forgot just how busy it was when I worked full time. I am basically going full tilt boogie from about 5 am until 10 pm or later every single day. Now I am only counting the time I spend working, driving to work, and driving kids around. Well, I guess we could include housework, laundry, church, and a little down time in that span. However there was no accounting for extras like concerts at school (choir or band), out of town bowling tournaments, plays, or other performances. I can easily say that I am plumb wore out!!!

So Kat and I had fun at the two bowling tournaments. In Filer, her team of 4 placed first in her division. We have no idea how she did at Pepsi, but she bowls more for the fun of it. She considers tourneys just more practice time, and a chance to meet new kids from around the state.

Oh, more good news! After 3 1/2 months of unemployment, my ex husband got another job. And on the same week that I started my new job full time. I found that to be a little creepy. So, if all goes smoothly, I should start receiving child support payments again in June. When God blesses with money, He really lets it pour!!!

I think I have run out of things to say for now. If I think of any more fun news I will share. Happy Monday!!

Quite the Fun Month

I know I put the work "month" in the title, but this is really about last weekend, this week, and the weekends to come.

I finished my assignment at the tax prep place on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday, I took vacation. Yes, vacation. I stayed home, puttered around the house, and prepared myself for starting the job in American Falls full time this week. It was a productive time off from life. I haven't had a vacation in a long time. And, no, I don't consider the 2 months between graduation and getting a job a vacation.

On Saturday Kat and I left for Twin Falls. She had a bowling tournament in Filer. Or so we thought. All of the paperwork we got from the Bowling Association said she bowled on the 18th and 19th. When we got to the bowling alley, we were told that her dates were the 25th and 26th. Yes, it's true. We drove to Twin Falls and back in 6 hours time. So, we stopped by the hotel, changed our reservations to next weekend, went to dinner, and drove home. Sort of a wasted day, but Kat and I had fun, scoped out stuff we would like to do next weekend (I have to find the falls), and had some good conversations.

Since I was supposed to be out of town this weekend, I skipped church yesterday. I know, bad girl. But it felt good. Not that I dread church each week. I love it!!! I am pumped each week to see what God is going to do! What felt good was having a day where I didn't have to leave the house, or even get out of my jammies all day long. And, I wore my jammy pants all day!!!

So, I will work full time at the new job all week. On Saturday, Kat and I will once again forray into the Magic Valley to bowl. I will once again skip church (but this time I will actually be out of town). Then the weekend after that, Kat and I will go to Boise for another tourney.

LIfe is good!

New Month, New Job

The month of April has brought several new beginnings. My birthday was on Friday, I had a family party on Sunday, and started my new job yesterday. And, it is finally acting like spring outside.

My birthday on Friday was rather uneventful. I worked, took kids to rehearsal and sleepovers, then watched a movie, relaxed, and went to bed early. I had to work on Saturday, so the family birthday party had to be on Sunday. We had ribs and cheesecake, then presents. I got tickets to Jeff Dunham later this month, the entire first season of ER, and some cool bright red sneakers with Mickey Mouse on them. Good birthday!

Yesterday I started my new job. I am the payroll processor for Funk Farms in American Falls. The drive isn't bad, and the people are really nice. I have even been asked for networking advice, and called the "network administrator." Not bad for a first day. I was also told to set up my payroll processes the way I am comfortable with. I am excited for where this job will lead, and exited to do new things.

Easter this weekend, I get 2 vacation days at the end of next week, then full time at the farm (that just sounds so funny!). Yep, life is good.

Job Hunt Over!!!

So I got some good news on Thursday. I was given an offer for the job I interviewed for on Monday. I will be working for the temp agency for 90 days, then will go permanent. The pay will be enough for me to survive, and I am no longer worried about the commute. My only concern right now is how the girls will react to this new job. I will no longer be available to pop out of work and run them here, take the paper they forgot to grab, etc. And, my mom won't do that either.

So a little bit about the new job. I will be the bookkeeper for a large farm in American Falls, which is a small town about 25 miles from Pocatello. I will be in charge of payroll, including all of the reports that need to be done. I will also process financial statements and budget reports. I am not sure if I will be doing Accounts Receivable and Accounts Payable, but I can do it if needed.

Now, for those of you who are wondering why I am settling for something outside of my field. First of all, I needed a job!!! Second, the people who interviewed me were very interested in my computer skills. I will be able to utilize my skills in that area on occasion. And, you never know where it will lead.

So I have done the happy dance, figured the income level, getting ready to figure out the new and improved budget, and start saving. I set up direct deposit at the temp agency. Since I will be working in American Falls, I will not have time to pick up my checks on Fridays, so I set it up to make sure my paychecks are taken care of. Now all I have to do is get teh car serviced before I start the daily commute. All this one week before my birthday. WOO HOO!!!!!

I had a job interview yesterday. It was for a bookkeeping position for a large farm in American Falls. If you aren't from Pocatello, American Falls is a small town about 25 miles from Pocatello. I think it went well, but who knows. I talked to my staffing consultant this morning, and she had good feedback from the employer. I won't know anything for a few days.

Now, let me go back to this weekend. I was in total gloom and doom mode over this job. I was convinced that it would be a sucky (is that even a word?) job, with bad pay, and extra mileage on my car. I didn't want this job, I didn't want to interview, blah, blah, blah. I was very whiny about the whole thing.

I am now okay with the whole commute, extra gas expense, etc. I realized that it's the opportunity for a permanent, full time job, with benefits! How long have I been trying to get a permanent job? Why am I being so picky? I am not "all that and a bag of chips." I am just a human being trying to be a productive member of society. I am also not waiting for the perfect IT job. I'm going for the job that is here, now, and available to me. I will not thumb my nose at a job because I think I am above it. I will do all that I can to to provide for my kids, and right now I am the only one who can do that.

So I will wait patiently for this employer to make their decision. If they make me an offer, great! If not, there is another job out there somewhere that is the perfect fit for me.

Once again, It has been a relatively uneventful week. I go to work, pick up and drop off the kids, go to church 2-3 times during the week, and try to force Kat to do her homework. I think I eat too. Most of the time. Sometimes I actually forget. But, my sister (who is pregnant) probably eats enough for both of us right now. My meal schedule has been screwed up recently anyway. I work from 10-3 by myself at the office, so I can't go grab lunch midway through the day. I have gotten down to only about 2 meals a day. I know, that's not good for me. But, that is one thing I don't have control over right now.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned my job hunt. The listings on the internet are still very few and far between, but the temp agency is keeping me hopping. In the past week they have found 2 opportunities for me. One is in American Falls, and one in Pocatello. The AF one might fall through, but the Pocatello one looks good. I revamped my resume today and got it sent off to the temp agency. I am putting on my best office manager face in anticipation of the potential interview. I just hope this one pans out. The job is right up my alley (not IT, but, hey I'll take it!), good pay, regular hours, etc. So, prayers in that area would be nice.

I'll keep everyone posted on the job thing, and the money thing. But that's it for now.

Not Much

It's been a pretty boring week for me. Work, run the girls wherever, do ministry, etc. The most excitement I have had this week is that I went and got my birthday present from my mom. She got me 2 tickets to see Jeff Dunham live next month. I don't have the tickets. They are with Mom, waiting for my birthday. Now comes the fun part. I have to decide who to take. The girls are not an option. That's what I need, more of "She's your favorite!" Even if I randomly chose who goes, by drawing straws or something, I will still have picked a favorite child.

I am thinking of three people to take. My best friend from high school, who lives in Pocatello, another old friend, or my dad. I am leaning towards my dad. I think he would get a huge kick out of Jeff Dunham. Plus, Kat says that Walter reminds her of grampa. Yes, I'm a bad mom. I let the 13 year old watch stand up.

So I sit at the office watching New Spring sermons and old TV episodes on Hulu, playing computer solitaire, and waiting (semi) patiently for people to come in and have their taxes done.

What has God said to you lately?

So on Monday, I talked about how I am okay with my job hunt, and I am confident that God will provide what the girls and I need for now until He shows me what job He wants me at and when. The main reason I am okay with the job hunt and the child support going away, and the cut in hours at the temp job down to part time is that I am still tithing faithfully each week. Granted, my tithe has gotten significantly smaller, but that's because my income has gotten significantly smaller, but I am still giving my full 10%. Sometimes I wonder why I still give since it is so small. My little bit of money can't help the church. But, God says to give the first 10% of all you get, and you will be blessed. Where your treasure is, that's where your heart is.

Now, that's why I still tithe, and why I am not worried about money right now (ask me again about worry next week). However, I am having time management issues. I just feel that I am always going, dropping a kid off here, picking one up there, etc. Last Saturday between 10 and 3, I spent 4 hours in the car dropping off and picking up. That's ridiculous!!!!!!! I just couldn't figure out why I feel like I need to add another few hours to each day, and maybe another day to the week

So I was in the car yesterday (so what else is new), going to pick up a kid (again, what else is new) thinking about why I am okay with my money situation and not with my time. Then it just popped into my head, "Where your treasure is, there is your heart." Then I revised it to "Where your time is, there is your heart." OUCH!!!! Sometimes God speaks very clearly. Now, I am not a complete slacker. I give a lot of time to God at church. I'm treasurer, I volunteer almost every Sunday. I am considered to be "very active in my church." That's not the time issue. It's one that I have struggled with my whole life. Quiet time. I get it now. So, I am going to start up quiet time again. This time, I will keep it up. I hope. Keep praying for me about that one.

Jobs, etc.

I just realized that it's been 1 1/2 weeks since my last post. I guess I didn't have a lot going on.

So I lost out on the Federal job. I was told that my credit might be the deciding factor, and I am assuming it was. But, I'm okay with it. Apparently, that is not where God wants me right now. I am content for the moment to bop along at the temp job for the time being. It's funny, but I have been job hunting for a full year now, and am perfectly content at this point. I know there is a job for me out there and someday I will know for sure where God wants me. Who knows, maybe I am not supposed to stay in Pocatello. But, until I figure it out, I will work my temp jobs, make the best of the jobs I am given, and make sure I can continue to take care of my girls.

And, Karl and Chris, I am NOT angry about this, and I am NOT bitter either! Ha! It wouldn't do me any good to feel that way over something like this. Not that I haven't felt any anger or bitterness over my job search. I am just over it. Where would that get me? Nowhere!! If I got angry and resentful every time I was turned down for a job, it would be a short road to depression and giving up. Hear me on this. I AM NEVER GIVING UP!!!!!!! I will search until I find my dream job.

And, for some reason, I am thinking that my dream job may have me as my boss. I have noticed a need in this town, and I would like to fulfill it. I won't go into details, but continued prayer as to if this is really what God wants me to do. I know, I said at the beginning of the blog that my credit is bad. I can turn that around, and I plan on doing so.

So, that's it for this week. I'm content, but plotting and planning about being my own boss. And I'm looking forward to the next step God has for me.

A Few Rantings

When people ask about me, mostly (I hope) they say that I am a people person, work well with others, and enjoy being around people. I'm nice, personable, blah, blah, blah. Well, that is a well acted facade. People really annoy me. I try very hard to not let people annoy me, but as our society changes, people have become selfish, inconsiderate, boobs! I try to be considerate, polite, etc., but apparently, no one else is. Hence, today's rant. I'm thinking I will feel a little better about humanity in general if I get this off my chest.

My first area of contention is drivers. I am so tired of aggressive drivers!!! I don't know if it is because I am a very safe driver, or if I am just too polite, but if one more person tailgates me, I'm going to slam on my brakes!! And I'm serious! You are not going to get me to speed up so you can get where you are going faster by riding my heiney! You will just piss me off! And, if I haven't zipped through the light the second it turns green, don't honk!! I will not move faster! And, while I am ranting, GET OFF THE PHONE AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!!!!!!! I, for the most part, do not talk on my cell phone while I am driving. In fact, if you call me and I am in the car, one of my girls will answer and take a message. And, if I'm in the car alone, the conversation will be short. I can't tell you how many close calls I have had with another car because the driver was talking on the phone and not paying attention to what was going on around them. I think the only reason that I have not been in an accident is because I am a defensive driver, and am always watching the drivers around me.

While I am on the subject of cell phones (well, sort of), if you are at a store and go up to the cashier, get off the phone and complete your transaction. How would you feel if you were talking to someone, but they were on the phone and only paying a small amount of attention to you. This pet peeve of mine is just simple politeness and etiquette. I can't say that I am always considerate in this area, but I try. And, I am more than willing to hang up and finish the conversation another time and give the cashier my undivided attention.

Okay, I think I'm done. If I have offended or upset anyone, I'm sorry. I have just kind of had it with the inconsideration of the general population. I think I am done griping and complaining about stuff. At least for now. Drive safely, hang up the phone, and wear your seat belts.

Over It!

So last week I was dealing with the angst over the investigation for the Federal job. I was all worried about being rejected, being told no, and being turned down for yet another job. No matter how many times I am told, "Don't worry, God is in control. He will provide," I am a natural worrier. I always have been. I worry about money, jobs, my kids, and on and on and on. And, as a human, I have a fear of rejection. I think that's the worst part of job hunting. The rejection. And I've heard it all. Not enough experience, too much experience. Over qualified, under qualified. And, in this economy, it's an employer's market. They can afford to be picky.

So, I have been worried about the federal job, getting any permanent job at all, ever. Plus, my hours at the temp job are being cut in half due to slow business. So now, I have a part time job. Just one. 25 hours a week. Half the hours =half the pay. A whole lot of stuff to worry about. Suddenly, over the weekend, I got over it! God knows where he wants me to work, and He will eventually reveal it to me. That's another issue I have. I am not patient! I understand that God has a plan for me and knows where I will be going and what I will be doing, but, Dang it, why can't He at least give me a hint? I'm really not sure what happened, but it just clicked! I went from being all worried about stuff to shrugging my shoulders and saying, "It's all good. We'll be fine." I don't get it, but I am real happy that I feel better about my situation.

And my situation is: I have a temp job that will go on until April 15. I have a wonderful temp agency who keeps me employed until I can find a permanent job. I got my tax refund 3 weeks ago and am saving 50% of it as a cushion. I have a great family and church family who support me. I have some great friends at church who help me shut down the pity parties, but understand that I need a little venting time to get over my situation. My daughters are very understanding about our financial situation right now. How can I not feel blessed and content?

I will wait out the federal job. If the investigation goes through and I get the job, great! If not, oh well. There is really nothing to worry about. Que sera, sera (Sorry a little Doris Day moment). I will eventually get a permanent job, and until then, I will work steadily at the temp agency. I will save my money to send Tori on Choir Tour in March, and DCLA in June. I will save up money to send Kat to camp in July. Maybe we can even try to get out of town for a few days later in the summer. Who knows? I might even take a week off after this assignment, and take a much needed break. Remember, no vacations for temps.

You Never Know....

I have had an interesting experience for the past week or so. As I mentioned in my last post, I have had to remember my entire life since the age of 18 and tell the Federal Government all about it. Yesterday, I went in and answered more questions about my past. Now they know more dirt about me than my mother does (don't tell Mom that). I also learned a valuable lesson. Your past WILL come back to haunt you. Mine certainly has.

I can honestly say that I did some stupid things and made some very stupid decisions. And I had to tell this person, who I had never met before, about these stupid things. The worst part is, some of the stupidity may cost me the opportunity I have been given for a job. I can honestly say that right now, I am ready to back out of this whole process to save myself further embarrassment. Should I? I really don't know. But, I am an emotional basket case over it.

Some of the stupidity I can overturn. I made a few (understatement) bad financial decisions over the years. Those black marks I can wipe clean with a little tighter budgeting and time to get it done. Some of the other things are done, over with, and cannot be undone. I won't go into them, let's just say, they are not good things. Nothing illegal, no arrests, nothing like that. But, at the time my thought was, "what could it hurt?" Well, it hurt. And even though I don't know if these things will hurt my chance at this job, it really hurt me to have to admit them. And I felt ashamed to have actually done them. I now wish that I had thought things through and made better decisions.

This has not been all bad. I can now tell my girls how this has affected me, and hopefully they will not follow in my footsteps. Life lessons are always good, even if they hurt initially. And, I was able to look back on my life and say, "I did do some stupid things, but look where I am at now. I picked myself up, and no matter how hard the world tried to push me back, I pushed harder, and will continue until I achieve my life goals." And my goals are simple. To have a good job to take care of the girls. To have happy children (and not just because they get a new cell phone (they are really not materialistic)). To feel good about myself and to be a positive influence. Like I said 2 weeks ago, I just want to be a "good and faithful servant."

Thank God for Google!

So my week started out better than last week did. I have started entering my whole life since my 18th birthday for this FBI job. Wow! I don't know if you have ever had to enter job information from 15 years ago, but it is a chore. That is why I titled this blog "Thank God for Google!"

I know God didn't invent Google, but he created the genius(s) that came up with this "internet manna." You can Google just about anything. Last night Kat Googled Charles Darwin for a science report. Tonight we will Google a picture of him to attach to her report. You can find people, information, pictures, websites, blogs, porn (not that I have looked). I have had to Google former employers.

I thought this online information questionnaire would be easy. The paper version said go back 7 years for addresses and employers. Well, when I got the email with the information about the website to fill this paper out electronically, I was told to go back to my 18th birthday. How many of you remember the address and name of your supervisor from the part time job you worked in college, 20 years ago? Yeah, me either. But, between Google and YellowPages.com, I have found the address for just about every employer I have had since high school graduation. Now, as for the supervisors, that is just a lost cause. Luckily, I have space to explain myself. An hopefully the Federal Government will understand that businesses close, people change jobs, and memories fade. At least I have found the majority of these employers, and have a good explanation as to why I don't have addresses for some of them.

As hard as this process has been for me, I could only imagine if I would have tried to do this 10 years ago. The internet was huge back then, but you still couldn't find everything you needed online. I would never have been able to fullfill the requirements that were set for me on this questionnaire.

So that's where I am at right now. I just had to take a break from the long process, so I thought I would document what I am doing. My break time is over. I have to have this done before Saturday.

What to do with the time left?

I lost a good friend this week. My friend, ReNee, lost her battle with cancer on Monday. Although, I can't say I really lost her. I know exactly where she is. She has gone home to heaven, and I can only imagine the party that's been happening this week.

But, this is not a blog about faith, religion, or anything like that. Since ReNee was so young (37), I started thinking about the fact that we don't have any clue how much time we have left on this earth. What do I want to do with the time I have left, however long it is? Personally, I hope I can be around for quite a few years. My grandmother is 106 and not going anywhere soon. And, I'm not talking about creating a "Bucket List," although that was a very good movie. I am talking about doing something with my life so that when the time comes, I will hear "Well done, good and faithful servant."

I am not moving to South America to do mission work (at least not at this time. We'll see what God has for me down the road). I'm talking about little stuff that can turn into big stuff. Volunteering at the Salvation Army's soup kitchen, having lunch at the Senior Center just to talk to them, helping out a friend in need. I know I don't have a lot of money, but there are lots of things I can do to show God's love to people that cost me nothing but some time. I just need to get off my hiney and get going.

Therein lies my problem. I'm a homebody. When I get off work, I like nothing more than to go home, put on my jammies, and wind down so I can go to bed. I am very selfish about "my time." But is it really mine? Doesn't everything we have really belong to God? So I am wasting God's time! Ouch!

I know that I can't just jump out into the world and spend every waking moment helping someone else, but I can't sit on my blessed assurance (a favorite phrase of mine from my friend Bill) and wait for the needy to knock on my door. Right now I really don't know what to do, but I'm going to do something, and I'm taking my girls along for the ride. They already like helping people, so maybe if we make this fun family time, it will be easier for me to get started.

Please pray for me and the girls as I take this on. I want to thank ReNee for being a great friend, and for helping God kick me into action. Also pray for ReNee's husband, children, friends and family as we learn how to remember her. I'll keep posting on this new thing I am trying.

Something new

So I am finishing up my second week at Jackson Hewitt. We actually had some clients come at the end of the week. I am feeling more confident now. I think it's because people are finally noticing us. Out of the 4 clients who have come in, three are former Jackson Hewitt customers from other states. I am starting to think that we will actually have the opportunity to do some work.

On the other end, I am still in a state over the no child support thing. Trying to cut $400 per month from your budget when you are on shoestrings is no easy task. Right now I am trying to decide which utility to turn off. I know that is kind of silly, but it's either that or food right now. That is where my money is going right now. Bills, groceries, gas for the car. A little bit here and there for videos, etc., but that's only about $20 a month. I have cut out all eating out for me. Cup O' Noodles and sandwiches all the way. I am even taking steps to not have to pay $2 per day for coffee and iced tea. I figure whatever works and saves a couple of bucks a week. I am not taking a defeatist attitude on this, not even trying to make ends meet, just trying to get the ends a little closer together.

I did look into a part time job to supplement, but with the hours I am working at the FT job, there is no time to work a second job. I could sell Tupperware or something, but that takes a bit of money up front, and, guess what? I don't have it. I think that once I get a permenant job, I will surely appreciate it more, and hold on tight to all money that I get ahold of. I'm already pretty frugal, have been my whole life. I just can't cut back any more.

Sometimes I wonder why God has put me in this situation again and again. I know He is not punishing me or anything. I just wish sometimes that I could have a job where I am not worried about money or bills, or paying off things. I know that someday I will be in that position, but right now, to be blunt, it sucks. I am just being faithful and waiting patiently (sort of) for God's timing. That is one of my character flaws. I am not patient when I am waiting on God's timing. I know, that He only makes me wait longer because of that, but that's me and how I roll.

In the mean time, I will keep a positive attitude, keep telling the girls "No," and try my hardest to not become Gloom and Doom girl. Client just walked in. Time to post.

An Interesting Week

So my job is going okay. Our signs were put up last Friday, and direct mail advertising goes out this week. Hopefully people will see us and come in. I am ready to do some taxes.

My week also had some roller-coaster sized ups and downs. In November I had interviewed for an IT job at the FBI. I hadn't heard from them since then, so I thought I hadn't been chosen for the position. On Tuesday, I received a phone call from Washington D.C. (I know!), asking me why I never responded to the conditional offer made to me on December 23. I didn't know that I had a conditional offer. That night I checked my Outlook mail, and it had been sent to my Junk Mail. So I emailed them back, begging for a chance to go through the background check. Now all I have to do is fill out about 10 pages of information about me dating back up to 20 years ago. Oh, man! Then the 3 month background check, they talk to everyone I've ever met, yada, yada, yada, and I might have a job later in the year.

That was the up end of the roller coaster. The down side came on Thursday. I got an email from my ex-husband telling me that he lost his job. So that means that my child support stops until he finds another one. Now I have to rebudget without that large chunk of money. And that chunk of money is one week's pay for me. That was the down side.

So tonight I get to go to Kat's 7th grade band concert. I am actually really excited for it. She loves playing the flute and is pretty good. She would be really good if she actually practiced.

New week, new job

So I am sitting in the office of my new job. It's my third day and we are still slow. We might pick up some customers when we actually get a sign. I am enjoying my new job. I finished my training today, so now I wait.


I don't have the angst I had last week. It's a pretty laid back operation. The owner will be here a couple days a week, and other than that, it's just me and the other guy. We will be working in shifts with some overlap time. I will have to work some Saturdays, and I hope the girls will understand and deal with it. Kat is worried that I will never come watch her bowl until after tax season. I assured her that that is not the case. I will be there every other Saturday.

I got an interesting email this morning, and from someone that I hardly expected to hear from. My ex-husband got laid off from his job last week. He was actually worried about the child support for the girls. Needless to say, I am also worried, but am willing to let it go for now. That actually amazes me. I guess that means that I have forgiven him for the wrongs he has done in the past, and for all the pain he caused me oh so many years ago. I have no ill feelings towards him anymore. I am actually more concerned about him getting another job so he can support his family in Colorado. It makes me more determined to find a permanent job though. I no longer can depend on that small amount of income regularly. I haven't told the girls yet. I will try to make sure that they understand that it was not his fault, and they shouldn't be mad at him. So I guess the crappy economy can hit us from all sides. Dang.

But, regardless of the financial tailspin the lack of child support might put me in temporarily, I still have no angst this week. Maybe it's because I know that God won't let me or the girls go hungry as long as I manage His money right. Everything will be okay. Wow, me miss pessimist just said everything will be okay. Maybe I am changing.

I will probably be posting a lot for the next few weeks. I am working 12-8 for the next 3 weeks, and if business is slow, I will blog. So I guess that's it for now. I am going to find something to keep me occupied.

Endings and Beginnings

Today is my last day of my temp assignment at ON Semiconductor (formerly AMIS). I am a little sad that I am leaving, although, due to the recent changes that have happened, I am not so crushed that I did not get hired permanently. I will really miss the people I have created relationships with here. I have email addresses and phone numbers, and have left my contact information, so we can still stay connected. Plus, I can still get all of those goofy jokes from Teresa.

I start my new assignment on Monday. Here is the part where God has a sense of humor. Before going to school in 2006, I worked for an accounting firm for over 9 years. So, for the past 2 1/2 years I have been adamant that I would never do anything regarding accounting. His first joke on me, of course, is that I have been the treasurer at First Baptist Church since July. Don't get me wrong. I love this particular ministry, and I am good at what I do. I wanted to do IT, and I thought that if I got back into accounting, I would stick there, because it is not unenjoyable, but not my dream job. So, here is God's second practical joke on me. Monday, I start my new assignment at.....drum roll please.....Jackson Hewitt. If you aren't familiar with the name, they are number 2 in the nation, behind H & R Block. Yes, I will be preparing tax returns for the next 3 1/2 months. To be honest, I have kind of missed the thrill of tax season. The adrenaline rush in the last 2 weeks. I know, I'm weird. At least I admit it fully.

So I will check in on Monday and update my enthusiasm on this new venture.

I promised that the last blog would be the only depressing one. And I try to keep my promises.

A Few Rantings

Here I go. My first foray into the world of blogging. I'm not sure if anyone will even read this. I don't really care. This is for me to vent my ever-overflowing and always extreme emotions to protect my sanity. Right now I am pretty much a basket case, and there are quite a few reasons why.

This has been a week of transitions for me. I am ending one temp assignment tomorrow, and starting a new one on Monday. I know, a temp job. Get over it and move on. I have been at this assignment for 6 months now, and I make attachments easily. It is very hard for me to say good-bye to the wonderful people I work with. I also have anxiety over the new assignment. Will my new co-workers like me? Will I do a good job at my new assignment? The angst goes on and on.

Notice I am working temp jobs. That is another angst ridden area of my life. I have been out of college (for the second time) for 7 months, and still don't have a permanent job. You can lecture me about the economy and recession all you want, but as a single mom it's hard not to feel like a complete failure because I can't find employment that will support my children. I am working very hard to have a positive attitude about God having that perfect job for me, but I am getting desperate.

Last night some friends of mine started a new women's small group. We are studying a Perry Noble sermon series about what God thinks about women. First of all, I don't do well in groups. I have had issues with "saying something stupid," "nobody wants to talk to me," "my opinions aren't important,", etc. Most of this stems from my marriage, where I heard these things from my husband every time we went out with his friends. I know, get over it. But, no matter how hard I try, I still hear that nagging voice in the back of my head. Some wounds take a long time to totally heal. These may never heal. My second issue is I don't associate with women very well. I don't know why, but I have always gotten along with men easier. So I tend to feel very uncomfortable in a large group of women. And, when I get uncomfortable, I clam up. For those of you who know me, yes, I do stop talking once in a while. Just put me in a large group of women. I am still trying to decide if I am willing to take the step (leap) of faith and stick with this study.

I hope that I can get through this very weird, emotional week unscathed. I actually feel better now that I have vented. I promise that my next post will be more upbeat and optimistic.

Thanks for listening. My spleen is fully vented (if you don't understand that, I will explain. Just contact me).