2011, The Year That I'd Like To Forget

I know, it's not New Year's yet, but I know what next week will be like, so here it goes.


My year was pretty uneventful until summer hit. First, the company I work for finished a major part of the construction project. So, the Project Manager I had been working under for almost a year went back to Washington, and a new person took his place. So I had just gotten used to one management style, and the new Project Manager was the total opposite. Then we moved trailers. Then, slowly, the customer started putting restrictions on who could drive where, who could park where, etc. Things got a lot more tense between my company and the customer. 


Then another Project Manager came onsite. Yep, you guessed it. Totally different management style. But, everyone had to juggle both styles at once. Two projects running simultaneously. 


In September, I took my baby girl to Portland and left her there to go to college. As you know from past posts, she loves the city, loves college, and finally got a job! And, she is home right now, so all is right with the world. i think it will be easier to send her back in 2 weeks. 


In October, I had to go to court about my Child Support order. I ended up losing the case, but it all worked out for good. Sammee and Tori have slowly started a relationship with their dad, stepmother, and brothers. Tori even went to Denver for Thanksgiving. My income went down, but we dealt with it.


In November, our project started completion, so all overtime was stopped. Income went down again. But we dealt with it. I wasn't sure if I could tighten my belt anymore, but I added some holes to the old belt and tightened away. 


This month, as you all know, I was temporarily laid off. I have freak out moments, but they are really not that often. Like I keep saying, God will take care of it. He's done it before, and He will do it again. 


Next week I get to earn some money. I will clean empty apartments in a student housing complex. Not glamorous work, but it will help pay the bills. What can I say, I like to work.


So that is my year. A little boring, some adventures, lots of trials, smiles, laughter, and tears. So here's to 2012. May it bring prosperity, joy, and success to all of my friends!

I Am Running Out Of Titles!

So tomorrow starts week 2. I will know within a day or 2 how this whole direct deposit of unemployment insurance works. According to the Department of Labor's website, the funds will be DDed within 3 business days of my weekly claim update. I can do the update anytime after midnight on Sunday. This is totally new territory, and I hope to not utilize it for long. 


T'was the week before Christmas and all through the fam, we are happy and chatty and ready for some family time this weekend. For us, however, family time not only consists of going up to Mom and Dad's for dinner and presents, but the Christmas Eve services at church. We don't just attend, we participate. And this year is no exception. Our Worship Pastor, Karl, is trying to get drama back into worship services, and guess who gets to lead it. So that whole "time to step down as treasurer" thing was so I would have time to revamp the Drama Ministry. That is really where my heart is anyway. 


So, Saturday night, Sammee, Tori and I will do a skit called "Three Trees." Very powerful skit. Doing it as a Reader's Theatre, so less blocking. And, yes, my girls got wrangled into this, but they love it. I will have someone video it and will post on You Tube next weekend. 


I have a couple of job opportunities and will be papering Pocatello with resumes tomorrow. I hope I can find something besides jeans and hoodies in my wardrobe to wear out to drop off resumes. I will dig until I find some khakis and a nice button down blouse. 


I will keep y'all posted on these jobs. Who knows, I may end up with 4 10 hour a week jobs. I have a friend who did that for years and loved it!


So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a prosperous 2012 to all!

Week One

So week one of unemployment has proved to be the week that I am never home. Trips to Health and Welfare, Unemployment, taking Kat to school, picking her up, running Tori to work, etc., church, bowling, yada, yada, yada. Next week will probably be quieter.


My unemployment was approved, but I am disqualified from Food Stamps until January. Thank God for the FBC Food Pantry. I will actually utilize their generosity and food box of love. 


I have applied for a couple of jobs. I am looking for something to get me by until the jobsite reopens in mid February or so. I am not going to just sit around and wait for February. It's not in my nature. I love working and providing for my family regardless of what the wage is. I am a social person, and I make the best of whatever job I happen to have at the time.


In the summer of 2010 I was unemployed for 4 months. During that time, the temp agency kept me in small jobs almost continuously. And I did a number of things. I served at a graduation dinner at the University. I did concessions at the football stadium. I worked for an auction house part time for a few weeks updating the website. I sat outside an all day seminar doing registration, checking to make sure drinks were available, keeping the schedule flowing, etc. I even ran around the area changing out advertisements on top of gas pumps. I have never had someone I have worked for have an issue with attitude or anything. I think I am just so happy to be working that I have fun at whatever I am doing.


So here I am, positive and happy. And, it's time to go get Tori to take her to work. She won't drive until she gets her wallet from Kirk. She left it in his car in Boise. 


More updates later. 

Merry Christmas Break!

I got my Christmas present yesterday. TORI IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!! I did have to drive  to Boise and pick her up. For those of you not from Idaho, Boise is about a 3 1/2 to 4 hour drive from Pocatello. I tried to leave so we would arrive in Boise at the same time, but I ended up waiting for an hour. I had a book, so it was okay. Met up with Tori and Kirk, loaded the car, grabbed mom more coffee (too much coffee yesterday), got in the car, went one exit over, met Kirk, got Tori's presents for her family, and hit the road. Ended up getting home around 9:30. Stopped at Fred Meyer to get Tori a phone charger (her's is in Portland), took her to her car, went home and rested my weary tushy. I am still sore, mostly down my left leg, but my left lower back has chronic problems, so it will ping and twinge for a couple of days. I'll be fine. 


So I have definitely ruled out long haul truck driver as a possible career change. Because that would be a perfect fit for me (sarcasm, sarcasm). Tomorrow will be a pretty full day for me for not having to work. Health and Welfare to apply for food stamps, Dept of Labor to check on my unemployment claim, gotta shut off the cable, stop off at the school district to sign Kat up for free lunch, take Tori to work, go watch Kat a bowling practice, pick up Tori from work. Gosh, I think I will put in a full day's work tomorrow. Oops, I forgot about taking Kat to school. That would be the first errand. I should probably allow an hour or so for job hunting. 


I do have some skills that are marketable in the here and now. So if you're in the Pocatello area and need some help with bookkeeping, payroll, or computer or network help, give me a holler. I have reasonable rates, and I am good at what I do.


Until next time.

It Will Get Better

So I am now unemployed. Temporarily. The thing is, I am not devastated, I am not stunned. I am okay. I am okay because of a few factors.


First, I work with an amazing group of people. I use the present tense because I will go back there and work with them again. All day I got hugs. As someone would leave for the last time, a hug. As I was getting ready to leave, more hugs. Big, strong, macho construction guys hugging me like an old friend. Not that I'm old. 


Second, they take care of me. I have had offers of making sure I have a full tank of gas. One coworker gave me a microwave and a box full of food and kitchen stuff. Also laundry soap and TP. Why? Because. This is the same person who paid for my radiator. Why? Because. One coworker gave me Christmas gifts for me and all 3 girls. I'm sure more will come my way. Why? Because construction workers take care of each other. 


Third, I have made an impression on these people. Both here in Pocatello, and at the home office in Longview, WA. The head of payroll said that if they start back up without me, she will have words with the President of the company. Who also likes me, by the way. 


So, I have no job for now. I am not sure how the bills will be paid. I hope that my unemployment claim will be approved and I will start receiving it soon. But, I know that God has my back. He won't let me and the girls starve, freeze, or be stranded. I have faith. 


On an up note, I get to drive to Boise tomorrow to pick up Tori. She is driving home with her boyfriend, Kirk, for Christmas break. But, Kirk is stopping to visit his mom in Boise for a few days. So Tori needs a ride to Poky. Since I am not worried about gas for Jeepers right now, I will drive the 4 hours to get her and come back home. I'm excited! And I actually don't think that I will have much time to talk on the way home, but the car will be full of chatter. 


So, in a nutshell, I am unemployed at Christmas time, Tori is coming home tomorrow, and life is good. And, God is good. The rest are just details. 


Peace.

Boring, or Exciting?

So this is my last week at work. For now. I will probably go back around February? Maybe? Here's hoping. In the mean time, if I can earn about $200 per week on top of my unemployment, I should be able to cover the bills. And maybe gas and food. But, of course, a full time job would be much better. 


Now to share the blessings that have come my way recently. First, as you all know, my Jeep got fixed. Here's the kicker. A co-worker purchased the new radiator and cooling fan. Then, the spouse of a friend did the labor for free. My only expense was $36 for antifreeze (which mom paid). The Jeepers is back! Just in time for snow.


Blessing #2:  Yesterday when I got home from work, I had a package. Well, it's Christmas. Didn't recognize where it was from, but shook gently, and heard jingle bells. Inside were 4 very cute snowman ornaments, a tin of fudge (all mine), a tin of peanut brittle (probably also mine), a book, a card, and a special surprise. I won't tell details, but man, it was timely, needed, and very much appreciated. If you want to know more go to www.christmasjars.com. You can get more information there. Awesome thing, and who knows what I may do next year about this time. 


And, the big news of the week.....Tori comes home this weekend!!!!!!!! Geez, I have missed that little bundle of energy! And, she is coming home with A's in her classes and a job! At least one, with possibly another one in the works. I am so proud of her for being brave in being alone in a strange place, being persistent in her job hunt, and being an inspiration to everyone who knows her. She also bravely flew on a plane for the first time ever and survived! She had flown twice before, but both times with Sammee. So excited to see her, squeeze the stuffing out of her, and go to Co Ho for coffee and stories!


Lastly, I am blessed to have 3 amazing daughters who lean on me and let me lean on them when necessary. I am blessed with awesome parents who have my back at all times. I am blessed with wonderful friends and co-workers. And my church family is the biggest blessing a person could ask for.


So, even with the financial trials I have experienced over the past 2 months, my life is totally blessed, and guess who gets all the credit? Yep, you guessed it, God.


So, hug your family and be grateful for your job. I will be back soon.


Karen, I hope this was exciting enough. DMA, here is your post.

Me, In A Nutshell

So, I get this question a lot, so I thought I would do a quick post about why I am still single after almost 16 years. 


For some reason, people just can't understand how I can be content to be alone and not even date. But I am. It started out to be "out of obligation," but became comfortable, and now it's just who I am.


When I got divorced, I suddenly had 3 little girls who I had to raise on my own. No help, no breaks. Well, Mom and Dad, but you know what I mean. I made a vow to those little girls that anytime I was not at work, I would be home with them. Not that they had a clue. They were 5, 3, and a newborn. Hence, why I chose to put the girls first. 


My friend and Pastor, Bill, told me that I would get married again. I laughed in his face. In love. Don't want to get on the Pastor's bad side. I asked him if he had ever taken inventory of the single men my age in this town. They all had more baggage than I did. Criminal records, mama's boys, deadbeats who couldn't hold a job, addicts of some sort. I totally didn't have the energy or patience to have another "child" around. So I waited. I actually made friends with some of the single dads at church, but that was it. We had too close of a connection with our issues raising our kids, and were just good friends. And, since they would come to me for advice about women, it seemed a little inappropriate to even think about dating any of them. 


Fast forward. The girls were getting older, and spending more time with their friends. I remember the first Friday night I was alone in the house. Sammee was at a play with friends, Tori and Kat were both spending the night at a friend's house. I sat on the couch all alone and cried. I felt so lonely. But that didn't last long. The quiet in the house turned from a heavy reminder of their absence to a sanctuary. Not that I don't love my kids. Far from it. But, the rare occasions that I had no children in the house turned into precious mommy time. I relaxed, watched movies that I knew the girls would hate, and basically revelled in the quiet. But nothing beats the sounds of a house full of girls. Whether they are dancing and singing together or fighting, those are the best sounds in the world.


Fast forward again. Sammee and Tori are grown. Kat is almost grown. I have all the time in the world. So why don't I give it a go and try dating? 2 words. Too old. Okay, 2 more words. Set in my ways. Oops, that was 4 words. 4 more words. I can't remember how. I'm fine being single. I wasn't at first. My Aunt was single my whole life. She seemed angry and bitter. When I first got divorced, I was scared that I would be just like her. Old, angry, and bitter. Didn't happen. Probably because I made a conscience choice, and made it with thought, not just "oh, well, I guess I'm stuck with these kids." Not that my aunt did that. 


So that's my story. One more thing. In the Bible, it is stated that certain people shouldn't marry so they can do God's work. The Apostle Paul never married. He wrote almost the entire New Testament. Maybe God kept me single to raise these amazing girls, and to keep me free to do the ministries I have done at First Baptist. And, just so you all know, the Drama Ministry will be kicking up again after a llllloooooonnnnggggg hiatus (like 6 years or something), and guess who's leading it? Yep.

Enough Life Lessons, Already!

So, today was a not so good day. I knew this was coming, but didn't think it would be until the end of the year. The company I work for is closing the job site until February. As of 4:00 pm on Friday, December 9, I will be unemployed. Now, I have never been laid off, never been fired. I had one job that when the contract with the temp agency expired it wasn't renewed, but that felt different. 


I am a bundle of emotions. I am sad, because I made so many friends at this job and I love all of them. I am scared, because my unemployment insurance will be about half of my regular salary. I am actually a little happy, because I can spend more time at home doing the mommy do's that have gone to the wayside because I was always so busy at work and with the kids.


Don't worry, the agency has already sent my resume to a local CPA firm for a full charge bookkeeper position. Full time, permanent. Pay cut (massive), but higher than unemployment. Note to self, NEVER, EVER say never. 5 years ago I quit my job at a CPA firm to go back to school and get my IT degree. I vowed NEVER to work for an accounting firm again. See where that got me? I have to smile through the pain at that one.


I know I will be fine. Kat will be fine. Tori will be fine. Sammee will be fine. I will get past the emotions, and maybe even allow myself a good cry. I might need one. Then I will get up, brush off the construction dust, and find a new desk to put my custom made, Tori original pencil holder, and my Russian Nesting Pigs (email me if you want details on that). 


I think Stewart Smalley (Al Franken character from SNL) said it best. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me!"

A Quick Note

So my long holiday weekend is almost over. Here are the things that I have learned.


1. If you let a child go do what their heart tells them to, it's okay. Tori's visit with her dad and step mother went very well. They had fun, went shopping, and even saw the Broadway National Tour of Lion King. She had bonding time, and got to know another part of her relatives that she hasn't seen since she was 3. I think she is a more complete person from this experience.


2. The mom must always forgive and let sleeping dogs lie. At first I had a hard time with the whole "Tori is going to Denver" thing. I worry too much. Not about standard stuff. I worried that it would be awkward, that there would be hard feelings. Totally not true. Then I was okay with the whole trip. I think I would have been more worried if Tori would have stayed in Portland for Thanksgiving. I hate for her to be lonely and away from family.


3. What am I really thankful for? At the core, I am thankful when my girls are happy and having fun. My girls are the essence of my being. I spent 15 years alone, trying to raise them the best that I could. I think I did an okay job. 


4. True friends are there regardless of what the ups and downs are in life. I have had a couple of friends who have listened to my weird ramblings and smacked up along side the back of the head (Gibbs style), and reminded me of exactly what I have. Love that!


So that's about it. Who knew that the first year that one of the girls couldn't be home for a holiday would cause me to learn so much about myself. I am strong, I am happy, my kids love me, and my family (see definition in last post) is ALWAYS there for me! 


A very Happy Holiday season to you and yours! Whoever reads this post! Friends, family, acquaintances, former friends, and people I don't even know! Everyone deserves a Merry Christmas!

Family Defined

So what is really the most important aspect of the holidays? Anyone, Bueller? Family. I have seen a lot of status updates today on Facebook, and most of them talk about spending time with family. So what defines family?

Family (n): any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents,children, uncles, aunts, and cousins.


From Dictionary.com

There were actually lots of definitions, but that one is my favorite. The rest talked about a household of related adults and children. Meh. So, not a bad definition. When we have a family dinner, it's usually up at my parents' house, so Mom, Dad, me and the 3 girls. Unless extra family is in town. 

So where am I going with this? I'm not sure yet. But this is my starting point. Tori is in Denver with her dad for Thanksgiving. Tonight she got to hang out with her Aunt Kisha. And Aunt Harriet, Uncle Aaron, Gramma Evelyn, and a whole slew of relatives that I can't remember. and they remembered me! I experienced the same thing last year when Sammee and Tori went to Denver to visit their Aunt Jacole and Aunt Lonni. Big family dinner, and all of those people remembered me too! Punkin, Collette, Breeze, Winter. I haven't seen these people for 16 years, and I am still family.

Tonight Sammee is having a bunch of friends over for dinner. She is calling it a family dinner. These people are the ones Sammee spends all of her time with. Shasta, Joey, Lakota, and lots of other friends who I know but can't remember their names. Most of her friends have already spent time with their families and want to get together tonight. Are these people really her family? They know a lot about her, she confides in them, cries with them, laughs with them. And they all call me mom. I have more "children" than I can count. 

So now to my point. Regardless of Webster's definition, family can easily be defined as a group of people who live in your heart, and share your life with you. No matter the miles that separate you or the amount of time that passes between visits, whether related by blood, marriage, or deep friendship, family is what you make it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Giving Thanks

So I survived a very short, but very full week at work. Payday is on Thursday, but this week, guess what? Thursday is a holiday! So, I had to have all time in to payroll by last Friday, audit of hours on Monday, and sort paychecks today. Plus, we had 13 lay offs today. The job is starting to wind down, so almost every week we have to lay off some workers. I hate that part. I don't actually have to give the guys their final checks, but I know these guys. They are all fun people, and the atmosphere changes when people leave.

So now my little list of what I am thankful for.

I am thankful to still have a job. I don't know for how long, but right now I live in the here and now.

I am thankful for a dependable car. Not my car, Tori's car. But, I don't need a new radiator. My cooling fan motor is dead. That's all. So thankful for minor repairs.

I am thankful that Tori is developing a relationship with her father. She is in Denver for Thanksgiving, and from the Facebook posts, she is having fun.

I am also thankful that Tori will be home in 2 weeks for Christmas. I have missed having her around and hearing her say, "Hey, mommy guess what?" in her high pitched squeaky fast voice.

I am thankful for my family. Mom, Dad, Jenn, Sammee, Tori, and Kat. Family is everything to me. I put my personal life on hold for my girls, and could not be more happy with my decision.

I am thankful for my friends. Most are acquaintances, but there are a few like Brittney and Bobi who almost know more about me than my mom.

I am also thankful for my Facebook friends. Friends from high school, college, even some celebrities. And of course family. People knock Facebook and Social Networks, but it keeps me connected to people who were a big part of my life.

I am thankful for my church family. They have helped me raise my kids, they keep me grounded, and are willing to "Gibbs" me (if you watch NCIS you will understand) in love when necessary.

And finally, I am thankful to God. Without him I am nothing, my children are nothing, life is nothing. He gets me through each day. I have had so many times when I was unemployed and I didn't know if I could pay the bills or feed the girls and the money showed up. If God was not the main part of my life, I don't know what may have happened to us.

I think that's enough for now. Continued prayers are appreciated as always. What are you thankful for?

Emotions!

So for some reason I have been emotional today. I started tearing up while driving on the jobsite. I was just driving. That's all. Well, I guess that's not all. I had just driven a co-worker to a meeting, and he told me he has a radiator for me, cheap. Now, here is the deal. He will buy it for me, and refuse repayment. These guys do this to me all the time. And, I think that another co-worker is paying for the repairs. Again, refusing repayment. Last year, a bunch of the guys got me new tires, and another paid for the installation. One of the general foremen gave me $100 to buy the girls stuff for Christmas, just because. Construction workers are some of the most generous, caring people I have ever met. And, they take care of everyone they work with.

It is also a holiday week. I always get a little emotional this time of year, but mainly because my family is so important to me. And, this is the first year all 3 girls will not be home for a major holiday. Tori couldn't make it home from Portland, especially since she will be home for Christmas in 2 weeks. So, she is off tomorrow for an adventure in Denver with her father. We will miss her, but I am so glad she has somewhere to go.

Kat is in the middle of finals for her first trimester. After tomorrow, she will no longer be a Pocatello Indian. On Monday she will be a Century Diamondback. I really hope this change is good for her. She seems to be taking school more seriously nowadays. That's a good thing.

Sammee is sick. Her throat is closed up, and she has no voice at all. She went to the doctor today (surprise), and they don't know what is wrong, but it is not strep or mono. Mom took her a care grocery bag of pudding, Jell-O, mashed potatoes, soup, and a bunch of other stuff that just slides down the gullet. I sure hope she is better by Thursday.

So these are my emotions, and welcome to them. I will be okay, grateful, and humbled by the love around me. Always.

Oh, the Trials and Tribulations!

So here is my story from yesterday. I was taking Kat and her friend, Jasmine, to Jasmine's house. I had a staff appreciation dinner, and Jasmine's mom said Kat could spend the night so I could feel free to hang out with my friends from work. We stopped at a convenience store near the house to get the girls some sodas. I ran in, and when I came out, steam and antifreeze were spewing from the hood and grill of the Jeep. My radiator blew. Put enough water in to drive it home, then transferred to Tori's Tempo. Not really sure if I need a new radiator or not, but rolling with that scenario. So my poor Jeeper Creeper sits in the driveway, sad because he cannot drive around Poky. And Boyde, the Tempo, is happy because he is once again roaming Pocatello. Regardless of what the repairs will be, I have to save up before I can do anything. Oh, well, the life of a single mom.

In other news, my week on FaceBook has been unusual. At least for me. On Tuesday, posted a random status update. I received comments from a college friend and a high school friend. On and on it went, and suddenly the two of them are now FB friends. Last night posted about the Jeep. My best friend here in town and a friend from San Francisco (I have actually never met him. He is the partner of one of my best friends from college) started chatting while commenting on my post, and are now FB friends. And, the college friend (the one from Tuesday) joined in, and is now friends with both. So, if you are my FB friend, and want to find a new unknown friend, comment on one of my status updates. Chances are, you will befriend one of my other friends.

I just love how funny and unpredictable the world is. And, I love that people can connect through the internet who have never even met. I love my life, I love my friends, and I love their friends!

Tourney, Day 2

So, Kat had day 2 of the Junior/Adult tournament. Both Mom and Dad came again. my dad just cracks me up. He and Kat verbally jab at each other constantly, but it is totally in love, and they giggle a lot while poking. Dad liked saying things like, "Nine? Nine? Why can't you knock down 10 pins at once?" And the response? "Shut up, grampa!" Giggle, giggle. They even made up a high five thingy. High five, low five, fist bump, fireworks. Silly family.

So on to the important stuff. Last night Kat didn't know anyone on her lane. This afternoon she got to bowl with her friend Tyler and his grandpa Gene. Gene is a friend of my parents, and Kat has been bowling with Tyler since she started bowling. made for a fun afternoon. And now for the scores. Kat: 138, 152, 146. Larry: 198, 255, and 256.

Kat has this new thing that has happened 3 times in the past 2 days. On the last frame of the last game she would pick up the spare, then throw a strike. She did this on the last game of league play, the last game last night, and the second game today. On the last frame of the last game today she struck out. Yes folks, that means 3 strikes in the 10th frame. And, my father said, "That's how we do it!" Kat's biggest fan.

So this is how I spend my weekends, folks. I love this part of my life. Watching my child so something that she loves and has a passion for is the end all, beat all of parenthood. All of my girls' passions thrill me, but Kat's is so different from Sammee and Tori's that it is more special.

So bring on the spares, strikes, and gutter balls! Saturdays are awesome!

I Love Bowling Tournaments!

Just got home from Kat's first squad of the Junior/Adult Bowling Tournament. It was citywide, so we got to see a bunch of people that we only see at city tournaments. Of course, Kat's coach was there, but he bowled at the other end of the lanes. Kat had quite a fan club there. Me, her friends Cora, Ebony, and Jasmine, and Mom and Dad even came. She ended up on Lanes 1 and 2, which kind of tilt at Tough Guy Lanes.

Her partner, my co-worker Larry, was very nice and met the folks. They both bowled very well. Kat bowled 141, 138, and 151. Larry bowled 161, 203, and 202, I think. Kat's average is currently 132. So, not too shabby. They both had fun, and had the best scores on their lane.

Also, there was a little girl named Mazee who was in her first year bowling without bumpers. She beat her dad in at least one game, and did the cutest little dance when she picked up a spare. I love watching little kids bowl!

One more thing. My friend Holly's son, Jayden, who is in 6th grade, bowled a 189 game which included 5 strikes in a row. Can you say excited kid? And, his average is 128.

So, tomorrow we will be back for another squad at 1:00 pm. I will update the scores later tomorrow. I don't know if there are any actual awards like trophies or medals or anything, but it is quite fun to do.

Laters!

Life Lessons

So, I have an unexpected day off from work. No, I didn't get laid off. Veteran's Day is a paid holiday for one of the unions, so the Project Managers closed the jobsite for the day. Unfortunately, it is not a paid holiday for me. But, I shall revel in the quiet, and the chance to rest, and do a few things that I don't get to normally do during the week. Working 7-5:30 5 days a week makes it hard to take care of business at places that are open from 8-5. I think I'm going to lunch with my friend Bobi, stopping by church for a bit, and basically puttering. It's a good thing that I don't have to work today. Tomorrow I will probably just live at the bowling alley. Kat has regular league bowling at 11, then a Junior/Adult tournament at 5. One of my co-workers is bowling with her. They are both excited for this.

So, for right now, I am not able to work overtime. I have worked overtime since I started this job in August 2010. It is a huge financial hit, but instead of freaking out, I am strategizing, thinking, budgeting, and pretty much okay with it. This is only temporary, and as soon as the customer gives the okay, life will go back to normal. Whatever that is. Christmas may be sparse this year, but for my family it's not about the presents, it's about family. Especially this year with Tori being in Portland. By the way, she will be home in a month!!! WOOT!!!!

In other news, since Kat's IEP (Individual Education Plan) was cancelled last November for her dyslexia, she has struggled a lot with her classes. Unfortunately, most of her teachers think she is cured. You know, because her dyslexia is like the flu. Maybe a little more like diabetes. Anyway, we have been fretting a bit, because the State of Idaho requires her to pass standardized tests to graduate. Thank you, No Child Left Behind (I won't expand on my thoughts on this, that is a rant for another time). Right now, she can't pass without accommodations due to her dyslexia. I was told that she can take a path to get an "Alternate Diploma." Basically a patronizing pat on the head to say, "you tried your best, and this is not a real diploma, but it's close." I found out last night that Idaho has no Alternate Diploma. The School district is required to offer a student that will not pass the ISATS an alternate path to prove that they have mastered the skills necessary to graduate. If they pass the alternate path, they get a diploma. A REAL diploma. *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!* I am still going to try to get her help to pass the ISATS, but it's nice to know that she can still graduate.

So that's my update for now. continue to pray for my finances, for Tori to find a job, for Kat to do well in school, and for Sammee to graduate in May. Thank you all for reading my blog and for supporting me. And a special thank you to all the people who have served and are still serving our country. Your sacrifice is what keeps us free!

The Not So Weekly Update

So once again I am a blog slacker. Last weekend ended up being full of phone calls and updates from Tori regarding her grandparents' visit to Portland. Then my standard week happened. 10 hour work days, homework with Kat at night, and bowling on Saturday. Which leads us back to Sunday. Oh yeah, that's today. Today was laundry. That's about it.

So here is the latest Wortham news. Kat is doing a Junior/Adult tournament next weekend here in Poky. She really wanted me to bowl with her, but that would have been very bad. One of my co-workers, Larry, bowls on at least 3 leagues here in town, and jumped at the chance to bowl with Kat. This should be a lot of fun. They bowl at 5 pm on Saturday and 1 pm on Sunday.

Tori is definitely going to Denver for Thanksgiving. I am very excited for her on this journey. First, she has only flown twice, and both times with Sammee. I should write a note for the person who sits next to her, telling them that she is a nervous person, but is very sweet and might just need her hand held. Just kidding, she will be fine. And, she will get to see her Aunt CoCo while she is there, and maybe even her Granny Byrd. It was very generous of her dad and his wife to extend this invitation. I can hardly wait to hear the adventures.

Speaking of Tori, she will be coming home one month from Tuesday! YAY! Pocatello sure has been quieter and less random without her. No one else has random dance parties in the frozen food section of Fred Meyer. I may have to force her to hold a dance party or maybe even organize a flash mob while she's home. and, she will be home for a whole month!

And, my jobsite is probably closing down completely the week between Christmas and New Year's. Less money in my pocket, but more time with my girls and parents. WOOT!

So that is my sorta weekly update. I will post more after Kat's tourney next weekend. The way she bowls and her passion for the sport, who knows, maybe she will go pro and be the child who takes care of her mom in her old age. Hah!

Another Week in the Books

So we have had a rather uneventful week. Still juggling finances, but getting better slowly but surely. Within a few weeks all should be better.

Kat's average in bowling is currently 131, which is 30 pins better than last season. She will transfer to Century High School just in time to be on Century's bowling team. She just adores Century's bowling coach. And, he's a good coach. I hope her move to Century is good for her.

Tori is doing very well at school and loves her classes. She has started a video blog, and I just love all of her updates. She has also started selling her crocheted items to earn extra money, and has people interested in learning to crochet, so she may start teaching for a fee. Maybe she isn't supposed to have a traditional job, but earn money doing what she loves. Still such a proud mama. Mom and dad are leaving on Monday for Portland for an antique show. They will check in on Tori while the are there and take her some stuff she needs.

Sammee closed ISU's Fall play last weekend. Right now she is helping with a Haunted Asylum put on by a local theatre. It's funny, she doesn't like scary stuff, but loves scaring others. And when the ISU Theatre department puts on a Haunted house for Halloween, it is some of the scariest stuff I have seen. And these kids love getting ugly and gory and being creepy. And drama geeks set a theme and make it as spooky as possible. And, all the money goes to scholarships. If you are local and want to go, hunt me down and I will give you directions to OTAS in Old Town.

Work is still going well. Nothing new on that front. Working 50 hours a week. Keeping busy. Still love the people I work with.

So that is the weekly update. I think these are starting to sound the same. Trying to decide if I should wait to post again only if something interesting happens. But, if I do that, there will be some sort of drama. I don't want drama.

Weekly update

So this week has been relatively uneventful. Getting back on track financially, Kat's slogging through school, and Tori is still jobless but doing well.

Tori and I had a nice, long telephone chat last night. She caught me up on the happenings in her life, how classes are going, etc. She has actually started selling her hats (YAY) and other crafty things. She is getting involved in student government, and even found a community choir that she can join in January.

She told me one thing that I am still processing. Her dad and stepmother have contacted her and even sent her a care package. They are Facebook friends, and communicate regularly. I am happy that my ex has finally realized what he has been missing all these years, but I hope Tori keeps her guard up also. There have been some mean things said about me in the past, and I just hope that they are trying to form a relationship with her honestly. I know, I should be happy, but I have no choice but to be skeptical and a bit wary. But, Tori has a good head on her shoulders, and I trust her to make the right decisions.

Today she is trying out a new church, which is right by her apartment. Hope she finds a church family soon.

Well, I'm gearing up for another busy week at work. Mom will be home from Nampa tomorrow, so transportation for Kat won't be an issue for a while. And, Mom and Dad will go to Portland at the end of the month. Gotta get some stuff together to send to Tori with them.

So that's my story for this week.

Quick Update

So there have been a couple of new things that happened since the trial on Wednesday. One thing I forgot to mention is that it was stated in the petition that if I fought the lawsuit I would have to pay all attorney fees and court costs. That worried me, but I figured if I had to pay it, it would be at $5.00 per month. Not gonna go into debt or get behind on bills just because of my ex's stupid attorney. Got all of the legal paperwork in the mail on Thursday, and, at the bottom, just above the judge's signature, was this sentence. "Each party will be responsible for their own fees and expenses related to this case." Which means, simply, that he has to pay his attorney, all court costs, and his airfare to come down here. I paid a total of $58 to file the answer. Any time I missed at work I made up by going in early and staying late. I may have lost my case, but I feel like a winner (not Charlie Sheen winning) in this matter.

And, I have reworked my budget, and I really don't need that money. This week will be rough because Tori needed money for her new apartment and now I am completely strapped until Friday. But, next week's budget is in the books, and Kat and I are getting set to tighten our belts a little and make it work. And the raise won't hurt. It will cover about half of what was lost in child support.

So I am doing better, with no hard feelings or bitterness. No more angst about money. Feeling a lot less stressed about life. Now to concentrate on getting Kat through high school. Oy!

It's Over!

I will start out by apologizing in advance. This post may ramble, jump around, and be generally babbling. But, i am just going to spew my feelings tonight.

My lawsuit is done. And, I lost. My Child Support case has been cancelled. But, it's over. I can get back to normal (whatever counts as normal in my household). Here's what happened.

First of all, my whole defense was that the State required a DNA test to contest paternity, so why hasn't he done that? I even had a letter from Child Support Enforcement stating that.

So we get into court and his attorney questioned me, then questioned him (yes, he was there). The attorney got a few things wrong though. He claimed that at one time I claimed that Kat was his child. I did rebut that. Then a couple more things, and the judge made his ruling strictly based on what we said. The one good thing is that the attorney wanted me to repay all child support paid since the petition was filed, which was May. The judge denied that motion. I am not liable for any child support he has paid for Kat over the last 12+ years. Whew. I am just glad that it is over. I no longer have to deal with him in any capacity.

My only worry right now is that my income just decreased by over $400 per month. I have 2 kids in college, and one in braces, which the child support was paying for. Luckily for me, I have a good job, and, got a raise today. Which had very little to do with court. I guess it had been in the works for a couple of weeks.

So I survived a trial, seeing my ex for the first time in 15 years, and a financial downfall. And I will be okay. Sammee will be okay. Tori will be okay. And even Kat will be okay.

I haven't even really cried today. I haven't really cried for a long time. Not because I'm tough, but because I won't let myself. Maybe this weekend I will rent one of my favorite crying movies and just let go. Yeah, an evening with Terms of Endearment or Steel Magnolias might be the best prescription for me. In the meantime, I shall be Super Mom, Super Time Nazi, and Super Andrea.

If you have any questions, either Facebook me or toss me an email. wortandr@gmail.com. I'm sure I left something out.

Until next time.

Court

So we go to trial on Wednesday, October 5. Not sure what to expect. I have only been to court once before, and that was my divorce hearing 15 years ago. No lawyers involved. And, my ex didn't even show up. So here's what I know.

I found lots of evidence to help my case. But, my ex's attorney is trying to sway it his way. Gotta work on that. I will have one more piece of evidence and hopefully it will help. Fingers crossed and prayers appreciated.

I guess Mom will be back in time for the trial. That will help my nerves a lot. Plus, I think my friend Karl will be there also. Simply moral support from both of them. Very much needed. I will post the outcome on Wednesday evening. I just hope the trial isn't too long. I hate being away from work.

Now on to Tori. She had a great first week of school. She seems to love her classes, and is meeting people. On Monday, she has 2 job interviews. Both on campus. One work study job and one job-job. Hopefully she can work both of them if offered the jobs. And, she found a different apartment closer to school. Hope she gets it and can get moved.

Okay, that's my story so far. The end of the law suit story on Wednesday.

Court update

So here's what I know. Had a pre-trial hearing today. Bad news:  my ex's attorney used all of my evidence to his advantage. The good news: we are going to trial next Wednesday, October 5. Bad news: Mon and Dad will still be travelling from Texas and won't be there. Good news: I have lots of friends who are going to support me.

At this point, I don't know if my ex will even show up for the trial next week. Also, I'm not an attorney, and have no idea how to proceed. I'm sure I will be fine once I get over my angst. I just need to breathe and pray. And remain calm. I guess that I need to prepare some statements.

On another note, Tori had an awesome first day of college! She loved her first class, and got to draw! Lots! She had a job interview this afternoon that didn't go too well. That just means that it was the wrong job. On Wednesday, she has a job interview at a daycare to work with toddlers. Anyone who knows her knows that she loves toddlers! She was the leader of the crawler/toddler room at church, and always had funny stories about what the kids would do.

So, pray for me for next Wednesday, and pray for Tori for this Wednesday. Wednesday prayer day!

The Week That Was

I had a long week. Got home Sunday night around 6:30. Then worked 50 hours this week. It was a rough week. Tori was my backup transportation for Kat whenever Mom is out of town. Well, Mom is in Texas right now, so I had to find alternate transportation for Kat. That has become a challenge. Luckily, I have a wonderful friend, Bobi, who has stepped up and offered her a ride whenever Mom is gone. But, this week was rough anyway.

Tori is adjusting to Portland just fine. She has toured Oregon City numerous times and found many cute shops. She has found a yarn shop (go figure), and goes to knitting group on Thursday evenings. She also found a hat shop, and is looking at crocheting hats to possibly sell. She has a job interview on Monday at a bar & grill to wait tables. Good luck to her. A job is just what she needs. She also starts classes on Monday. That will make it easier for her to make friends and get connected to people. My friend, Noel, has appointed herself "Auntie Noel" and is taking care of the girl. She brought her some furniture today, and will bring more next weekend. Tori also has a high school friend, Kyle Hamm, who attends the University of Portland, to lean on. She seems very happy and excited about this new adventure in her life. I miss her, but between Facebook and cell phone, it's like she is just down the street.

On Monday, I have a pre-trial hearing for the child support law suit. I think I am ready for this. Hopefully the judge will see my point. But, who knows. So feel free to pray at 10:30 MDT on Monday morning.

I will post an update on Monday. That is all for now.

Tori's Excellent Adventure

Just got home from Portland. Took Tori to college. Left my baby alone in a really big city. To fend for herself. I have been formulating this blog on the 11 hour drive home today. Now, the words escape me.

Let's start with a short recap of the weekend. We left Pocatello at around 4 pm on Thursday. Tears and sniffling as she said goodbye to Kirk, her boyfriend. Started out, and drove. And drove. And drove. Stopped in Boise to have dinner with Tori's former youth leader, Jessa. Then we drove. And drove. And drove. Finally petered out around midnight in Baker City. Found out on Friday that Baker City was exactly halfway. Headed out Friday morning, after finding Tori the worst mocha of her life. And drove. And drove. And drove.Took a wrong turn in The Dalles for our lunch stop, and ended up in Washington for a minute. But, Tori got nice pics of the bridge we crossed. Got into Portland around 2 pm. Headed straight to Marylhurst for a look-see. Got a tour from a nice lady named Laura. She said at one point, "Going to Marylhurst is like getting a big hug." Tori loved that statement. Beautiful campus. Checked on her financial aid, registration, text books, and got her student ID. She has new student orientation next Thursday. Oh, yeah, checked out the bookstore too. She got a good mocha, and I got a hoodie for me, one for Sammee, and a water bottle for Kat. Luckily, I can log onto the website and order more merchandise. Plus, I have a close friend who can get more stuff too.
 :-)

Next stop was her apartment. Very small, but actually Tori sized. The largest room is the kitchen. She signed the lease and we unloaded the Jeep. Her landlord is a nice, single dad. He seems to work out of his home, and seemed like he would protect her. Then a quick tour of Oregon City, which is like Pocatello in the middle of the Portland metro area. Quaint shops, cute restaurants, old houses. Finally went to the hotel to collapse for the night.

Saturday we started the day by going to Washington (this time on purpose) to visit my friend Noel. She has a loveseat for Tori, gave her some dishes and stuff, sheets, and has a full bedroom set. She will be visiting Tori later this week to deliver and help her set stuff up. Tori even left with a jar of homemade salsa, raspberry jam, and blackberry jam. Then we ran around town. We found a Goodwill Superstore (no, really) in downtown Portland, but got distracted by a Flea Market a few blocks down. We browsed! for a few, but had to meet a "co-worker" Ann for lunch at the Clackamas Mall, and were late. The following is the exchange of all parties involved:

Kat:  C'mon, Tori!
Tori: I'm coming
Old Scottish vendor with heavy brogue: Take your time, lassie! That'll piss 'em off! You're your own person!

We laughed about that all the way to the car. Tori loves the variety of people in downtown.

So, after getting lost numerous times, got the the mall, and had a lovely lunch with Ann from the payroll department of JH Kelly. Did I ever mention that I love that woman? And to meet her in person was awesome!

After lunch we did some thrift store shopping, went to Costco to print pictures for Tori, and wandered aimlessly. Sometimes getting lost is the only way to really experience a city. Then back to the apartment, unpacked, and collapsed. She won't have much furniture for about a week, but then she may have too much stuff for that little, cute space.

Kat and I hit the road at around 5 am today. We kept our stops short but frequent (my back really hates me right now), and got home around 6:30 tonight. Meanwhile, Tori went to church, got mistaken for a 12 year old, and toured the town. She went to a coffee shop and met a barista who attends Marylhurst. She found a yarn shop (I know, it could be bad) and the ladies who own it live across the street from Marylhurst. She is joining a Thursday night knitting group there. And she even hung out with a friend from high school, who goes to University of Portland, today.

So, long story short (I know, too late), Tori is fending for herself, and, surprisingly (not really), making friends. And connections. Just talked to her on the phone, and she sounded good. She is grown up. And, with her personality, she won't know what to do with all of the friends she makes. Added bonus. The boyfriend, Kirk, will be moving to Eugene, OR this week to attend the University of Oregon. Eugene is only 2 hours away. That helps.

So, Mom's okay. Kat's okay. Not sure about Sammee. Haven't talked to her much this weekend. I think Tori will be okay. God has placed her in the perfect area of Portland to live, at the perfect school, and with some perfect people surrounding her. She has even found a coffee shop that is "almost" as good as Co Ho. Life is good. And life goes on. Looking forward to hearing about Tori's Excellent Adventure.

APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has an apartment! *Breathing a heavy sigh of relief!* It is unfurnished, but we will make sure that she can at least have a bed before we leave Portland. Last step in the whole moving process: a job. I will take her job hunting while we are there, even though it will be a short time. It's all falling into place. In the immortal words of my dear friend, Bill McCready, "God is good. The rest are just details." Plus, I have had friends coming out of the woodwork offering to be Aunties and Uncles, getting her a home cooked meal, a ride in an emergency, or just a hug when she misses her mommy.

In other news, I have suddenly become emotional over this move. It hit me today at church. The only reason I can come up with is that it's the 10th anniversary of 9/11, and in general an emotional day. I just started thinking that it was her last Sunday at church here. And then it happened. I teared up. Over and over. I would stop and then start up again. Not a good thing. I know it sounds weird, but I feel like I have to be the strong one. I know, I'm the mom, and it's okay to cry. But, if I cry, everyone will cry. I'm crying just thinking about it. If I keep strong, then Tori will have an easier transition. If I break down, she will. I know that this is what is best for her and her future career, but my baby is moving so far away.

So enough of the boo-hoo mommy stuff. She is grown and she will come home to visit. She can fend for herself and, guess what? I did it. Moved 1000 miles away from my family. Went to college in Missouri. Then moved to Denver. Yes, I ended up back in Pocatello, but I will go elsewhere to pursue my career in a few years. After Kat graduates. But, that will be a different crying post.

I will keep you posted on our travels this week. Pray for safe travels, and a smooth transition for all of us.

SEPTEMBER!

So I thought my life couldn't get any busier. Summer was a whirlwind of birthdays, Mom and Dad popping in and out of town, Sammee popping in and out of town, girls moving, Driver's Ed, Sammee turning 21. So much stuff in 3 short months. Now, here's September. Sammee started her senior year of college. Kat started her sophomore year of high school. My job got extended until February-ish. And, now, in 9 short days, I will take Tori to Portland to start college. Back in May when she got accepted to Marylhurst, September seemed like it was so far away. Now, it's here. She quit her job at the Popcorn Shop, which she has had since she was 14. She is packing her stuff and apartment hunting in Portland.She had her final exhibit at the local Art Walk last Friday. I have a lunch date with the head of payroll for JH Kelly while we are in Portland. THIS IS REAL, PEOPLE! My baby girl is moving away. My oldest girl will move to NYC in a year.

Now, I can look at this a number of ways. My children are leaving me all alone (well, except for Kat). My babies don't need me anymore (totally false). Or, Wow! Look what I did! I have created 2 adults who are going out in the world to do something and be somebody! It's not about if they become famous (but that would be nice), it's about how many lives they touch in the process. And, my girls (all 3 of them) touch lives each and every day.

Just tonight, I was having coffee with my friend Bobi, and this guy came in. He said hi to me, with this look on his face like "I think I know her." Later, he came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, but how do I know you?" I said, "I'm Sammee's mom." "Oh, my Gosh! I just love Sammee! She makes me smile all the time!" What does that do to a mom? Makes my heart swell with pride!

So, if you forget my name, and only remember me as "Sammee, Tori, or Kat's Mom," that's okay. That's pretty much who I am. And that means that I have done something right as a parent. If you remember my girls and associate me with them (in a good way, I hope), that's all right with me.

Weekly update time! (I think)

So I think it's been about a week since I updated my life. So here we go.

Tori turned 19 on Monday. I am still amazed every day how grown up my girls are. I still remember taking them all to first grade and tearing up at what big girls they were then. Then I remember that in only 2 1/2 years, I will have 3 adult children! Am I really that old? Wow!

Along with Tori's birthday, we had a "Tori's going to college" party yesterday. Turn out was good, and everyone gave her well wishes and happy thoughts. Plus, our friends have lots of Portland connections. When they found out that Tori didn't have an apartment yet, relatives of friends started pouring out of the woodwork. Phone calls are being made, emails are being sent, and these relatives of friends will probably find her somewhere to live before we leave next month.

Kat is preparing for her sophomore year of high school. We will register her on Thursday and pay all of the fees associated with her "free public education." I did the math, and it will be close to $150 just for activity card, yearbook, and class fees. Right now I don't know if she will be taking any classes that will require the participation fee, starting at $95. I just hope this year is better for her than last year was. But, since she did so well in Driver's Ed (97% average grade), she is motivated to do well in school. Here's hoping. Also, signed her up for bowling yesterday. We start on September 10, and then she will miss the next week, because we will be in Portland crying.

Sammee will start her final year of college tomorrow. Really? She will graduate from college in 9 months? Really? Do all parents go through this? The "where did the time go" moments?

And, just so you all know, Tori's last day working at the Popcorn Shop is August 31. So, if you absolutely need amazing popcorn and want to see her, get over there before the end of the month.

I Found It!!

I have been searching for the past 2 weeks for that one piece of evidence that will potentially make this lawsuit go away. I gave up for a bit out of frustration, but was bored tonight so I Binged it. Found a link to the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare's site to the exact information I needed! Gonna print it tomorrow, and find a way to send it to my ex's lawyer. Hopefully this will put an end to my troubles. We will see. I have the feeling that I will have to wait until next month when we have the pre-trial hearing to find out. And, just in case you were wondering, I'm not disclosing my evidence...yet.

So I will keep you updated on that progress, how I do with Tori moving to Portland, and if Kat's driving has made me crazy yet. No, not yet, but we still have 5 months to go.

Party for Tori next Saturday! We are kind of having a "going to college" shower for her. I am so excited for this. And I hate doing stuff on Saturday! So if you want to send her something let me know. Also we are putting together a book for her to take with her with pictures and little notes from friends and family. Let me know if anyone wants to contribute to that too.

Court Update

So my hearing was today at 10:00 am. First of all, my ex's attorney was almost an hour late because he was at a hearing at Juvenile court. People watching becomes a whole new sport at the court house in front of the court rooms. The attorney finally shows up, after some nice conversations with my mom and Kathy Nelson, a good friend and Children's Ministry Director at my church. They were my moral support.

The hearing was pretty short. I didn't understand that it was only held to schedule a trial date. Yes, a trial. Now I have to gather evidence, witnesses, create a defense. What am I, on Law & Order? I only have one defense right now, and I have to find documented proof of this defense. But, I have 2 months to find it.

I was fretting about him coming to town for today's hearing? I'm thinking that he will definitely come to town for the trial. And I'm not looking forward to that. But, I am a strong woman, and I will win this thing!

So I must log off for now. I have to surf the World Wide Web for this one piece of evidence. Now you are updated.

I Hate Missing Work

So tomorrow is my hearing to see if the Child Support will be canceled. I am nervous. Not because of the outcome. Either way I am okay with it. I just don't want to see my ex after 15+ years. I am fretting because I am convinced that he will fly in for the hearing. I am hoping that he will continue with his tradition and not show, but I won't know until I get to court. I also hate the fact that I have to miss work to take care of this nonsense. I know, I am a workaholic. Not really, I am just a loyal employee who tries my best to be at work at all times. If I was a workaholic, I would be at work all the time. I do enjoy my time off.

But I digress. Feel free to pray for me tomorrow at 10:00 am MDT that I will stay calm whatever the circumstance, and accept the judge's decision, whichever way it goes. I will be fine. Sometime after 10:00 tomorrow morning.

Disappointed in Pocatello

Today in my local paper, the Idaho State Journal, a letter to the editor was published. The author ranted about the downfall of our fair city due to the population of gay people and their refusal to hide. I am paraphrasing here. She actually encouraged the citizens to boycott any business who allowed gay people in, and proposed banning all gay people from Poky. Normally, I do not voice my political views (unless it involves education, see previous rants), but this particular letter really frosted my cookies! And, one of my friends was approached at a local grocery store to sign a petition to "ban" any activity that promotes an alternative lifestyle.

The main reason I am disappointed is that one of my co-workers, a construction worker, commented to me last week, " Pocatello has such a large gay community, and it is so well tolerated here. Especially with how conservative this town is." I agreed with him. Now I look like an idiot to him after this hateful letter.

I studied Theatre in college. I have worked in Theatre. There are lots of gay people in Theatre. I have been around them most of my adult life. I am proud to say that some of my best friends are gay! My daughters have gay friends, and they are some of the best kids I know. And, they all call me "Mom."

Before you throw the Bible at me, I understand the morality of it. But, Jesus said, "Hate the sin, love the sinner." We are to care for everyone, regardless of lifestyle or sins. We are not to judge. We are not to hate. We are not to "run people out of town" to protect our children.

I am not trying to offend ANYONE with this, I just have to speak out to the insanity that the far right is trying to force everyone else to believe. I love my friends, regardless of their religion, race, or sexual orientation! I love my kids' friends, regardless of their religion, race, or sexual orientation.

The Great Commandment: "Love each other, the way your Father, in Heaven, Loves you."

This One Is a Bit Of A Rant

I am going to preface this by saying that I don't intend to intentionally offend any of my friends, but I have to get this off my chest.

So today was a celebration of sorts in my town. Tomorrow is Pioneer Day. For those who don't know, Pioneer Day celebrates the day that the Mormons landed in the Salt Lake valley in Utah. Monday is a State holiday in Utah, and it's a pretty big deal here in Pocatello. Not surprising because our population is about 50% LDS. There is a parade and activities all over town today.

My problem is with the parade that took place 3 weeks ago. The Pioneer Day parade lasted about an hour (I didn't go, just timed it as it went past my house). Our Independence Day parade lasted all of 14 minutes (taped it, so had it timed). No one participated in the 4th parade, and everyone participated in the Pioneer Day parade. At least we have an Independence Day parade. There were a lot of years that there was nothing on July 4th because everyone was gearing up for Pioneer Day.

So why is it that we have such a small attendance for the birthday of our country's freedom, but such large attendance for a small group of people who moved from New York to Utah in the 1800's? Before anyone gets real ticked off, I am all for freedom of religion. But, is this one religious holiday, for only one religion, really more important than the holiday that gave these people their freedom to worship the way they want?

I am not the only person in Pocatello that feels this way. The local paper's website blew up with comments about how lame the July 4th parade was. Lots of comments were made that citizens need to step up and organize next years parade. I'm in if it actually happens. This town has too many people who are defending this country, or have come home with debilitating injuries and trauma from serving our country to treat Independence Day like just a day for fireworks.

I am offering a challenge to the citizens of Pocatello, ID. If you were disgusted with the content of this year's 4th of July parade, email me at wortandr@gmail.com (I know, that's kind of dangerous, but I'm serious). I have friends who want to make next year's parade last half the day if we can. We have to remember why we have the freedoms that we do, and not take them for granted. Like the freedom of speech, which I am using right now.

Again, this is not an LDS bashing post. Just a post stating my disappointment in Pocatello's pride in our country.

Update Time!

So here we go.

Lawsuit: I go to Court in a little more than a week. Surprisingly, the only worry I have right now is whether the ex will actually fly down for the hearing. I am going on the basis that he will, so I won't be so shaken up if I walk into the courtroom and there he is. And, if he doesn't show, a pleasant surprise. I am certain that an update will happen on August 1.

Money: I have finally dug myself out of my financial hole. I even have money in savings! And I am still working 50+ hours a week.

Tori: Tori is getting excited about college. She is meeting other students online, looking for a place to live, and talking to her advisor about classes and such. She wants to go up next month to apply for work study jobs, which she has to do in person, and before school starts.

Sammee: Sammee loves her job at Starbucks. And mom likes the free coffee. She leaves on Sunday for Billings. She is going to teach at the Venture Theatre's Drama School for 2 weeks. Last year Theatre School was her favorite part of the summer. Her favorite age group are the "itty bitties." Kindergarten to 3rd grade. Hope she gets to teach them again.

Kat: Kat graduated from Driver's Ed with a 97% average. Now we have 6 months of her on a learner's permit. I think I am getting a grey hair every time she drives. But she is not bad, I'm just nervous. If she dents my Jeep, I'll kill her.

So summer is going well so far. My sister, Jennifer was in town last week from LA. And she brought my almost 2 year old niece, Ava. First off, Ava loves her cousins. We heard all week, "Hi Sammee, Hi Towi, Hi Kat!" She really liked to say hi at dinner time when she didn't want to eat. Oh, she's a character. One night at dinner Dad made peas. Jenn put some in Ava's bowl and she exclaimed, "Oh boy! Green balls!" So, from this point forward, peas will be known as Green Balls. And green beans are now Green bars. I forgot how fun, and tiring, kids are at that age. There is nothing like a hug and sloppy kiss from a 2 year old. And, she can almost say my name. It comes out more like Anna, but it's progress. And Mom is Amma (that's close to gramma) and Dad is Papa. That's what all 3 girls called him at that age.

So that's my story for now. I will post an update in 10 days. In the mean time, pray that God's will be done at this hearing. If I should get child support for the next 3 years, so be it. If my ex gets his way, so be it. But Like I said, God knows what should happen on August 1. Part of the prayer should be for me to be calm and think before I speak.

Thanks.

Ya'll Probably Want an Update

Okay, so here's a recap of my last post. Money troubles, yada, yada. Lawsuit, had to answer by June 17, yada yada. Anxiety about Tori moving, yada yada. Sammee's looking for a job, yada yada. Kat in Driver's Ed, yada yada. Yep, time for an update.

So the money issue has gotten better. I have money in savings, and am less stressed. I have a plan so we can afford a laptop for Tori for college, and get her to Portland in September.

I filed a response with the court on June 15. Last Saturday i received notice of a hearing on Monday, August 1. So, here we go. Not sure what to expect at this hearing, but I won't give up without a fight. Since it will be a month before I know anything, I will post then.

I am getting better about Tori going to college in Portland. This is an ongoing thing, so I will keep the anxiety posts coming.

Sammee got a job! She is working at Starbucks. I know, we patronize local coffee shops, but it's a job, and Sammee has been a barista before. The "perk?" (pun intended) She gets a pound of whole bean or ground coffee each week. Momma's gonna be rollin' in Starbucks!

Kat is doing great in Driver's Ed! Yesterday she rocked parallel parking! That is good, because I flunked parallel parking in Driver's Ed. She currently has an 85% average! And, she loves it!

So, that's my update for now. Hopefully more soon.

Down to Only a Drizzle

So I survived Sunday's tire changing shenanigans. It only took 3 1/2 hours and Sammee's friend Justin, but I have a spare on. I did loosen all of the lug nuts by myself, but I just couldn't get the car jacked up. And, I almost fixed Justin's laptop, so he owed me one.

On the legal front, I picked up the paper work to file my answer yesterday. Now I just need someone to help me fill it out. There is an assistance program at the court house, and I have received numerous names of lawyers to consult. I will have help by the beginning of next week, and will file on time. By next Friday the 17th.

The company I work for was awarded the bid that we were waiting on, so I will be working at least until the end of September YAY!!!!!!! What a weight lifted. Just don't ask my chiropractor if I'm more relaxed.

And, I have overcome the income thing I have relaxed and quit stressing over money.

One last thing. I have been treasurer at my church for 4 years, and as of July 1, I will no longer have that position. It has become more of a burden than a joy in the recent past, so it is time to move to a new ministry. I have been approached to lead a video ministry. Skits, video announcements, promos, etc. Finally, a chance to use my Drama stuff again! WOOT! Love it! So excited!

Time to sign off. Gotta budget so I can start saving so I will feel less tense about my money.

When it Rains, it Pours!

So let's recap this last week. I'm getting sued by my ex, my expenses outdid my income, and I now have a flat tire. Took Kat driving one last time before driver's ed starts, and while we were in the empty parking lot, she ran over this giant, sharp, piece of plastic, which lodged in my back left tire. It was okay until it flew off. Now I have a gaping, hissing hole in my tire. So I have changed my plans for tomorrow. Instead of going to church and doing laundry, I will be cleaning out the car and changing a tire. Plus, Mom is out of town next week. Kat starts Driver's Ed next week. Tori can take her, but she will be at work when Kat gets out at 1:30. So, that's another thing I have to fit into my week.

I really hope next week is better. Monday I will take the tire to Les Schwab to be repaired (I hope. No money for a new tire). I will also go to the court house to get the papers to answer the lawsuit. I will also be calling attorneys to help me with this nonsense. More money. I also have a bill to pay on Monday, with no money. So, I'm cranky. Oh, yeah, and go to the chiropractor on Monday. And, I'm out of coffee at the house.

I know it will get better, but I think I have had enough of the "It Sucks To Be Me" week. I want happiness, harmony, money (not a lot), and a tire that has air in it.

Week Started Bad. Can It Get Better?

So I mentioned this lawsuit that my ex has thrown at me. Went to Health and Welfare today to see what Child Support could do. In a word.....nothing. Valid lawsuit. I now have 3 choices.

1. Sit back, do nothing, and see what happens.

2. File a response on my own at the courthouse.

3. Hire a lawyer and try to fight it.

Right now, the one choice that I can afford is #1. But, not an option. I will not sit back and not let my side of the story be told. I really don't care about the money. I just don't want it to appear that I was some money grubbing witch (with a capital B) who didn't care about anyone but me. For those who know me, that's laughable. For those who don't, I tend to think of everyone else before myself. It is actually a character flaw of mine. I will get in a tizzy and overwhelmed trying to do for others, especially my kids and other family. That is where I am right now.

So, if you are so inclined, pray for me to be calm, to think clearly, and to make the right decisions regarding this wonderful lawsuit. And everything else in my life.

Beyond that, I still love my job, and Kat is done with school tomorrow. Until she starts Driver's Ed on Monday. Fair warning my friends.

When It Rains, It Pours

So, I had an interesting week. Dealt with personal issues, work issues, feeling overwhelmed and overly emotional. I really earned my 3 day weekend. Today was pretty relaxing, at least until 5:00, when I was awakened from my nap by a knock at the door. I was served papers. My ex-husband is suing me over his child support order. For those who don't know the story, a short (hopefully) history.

I have 3 wonderful daughters. Sammee, Tori, and Kat. My ex is Sammee and Tori's dad, but not Kat's. So, after the divorce was finalized, the State of Idaho started proceedings for a child support order. Since the state couldn't find Kat's father, they listed my ex as the legal father, since we were married during the pregnancy. So he was ordered to pay a monthly amount for 3 children.

Fast forward to last May. He realizes that Tori will be turning 18, so he decides that he is going to have the order modified and have Kat removed. It was March before the process was completed. He was ordered to pay the same amount for one child that he was paying for 3. Needless to say, he's not amused.

Quick info bit on the State of Idaho child support laws. If 2 people were married during any part of the pregnancy and the biological father cannot be found, then the other spouse is considered the legal parent and subject to support. the non-custodial parent has 6 months to contest paternity. So, he couldn't get the DNA tests to prove that Kat was not his child, and had to roll with the ruling handed down. But, instead of taking it like a man, he has chosen to sue me directly to get the support order dismissed.

So, I have talked to a couple of people who know a little about civil law (which is a lot more than I do), and he is suing the wrong entity. I had no control over what the state did with my case. On Tuesday I will go to Child Support and show them the papers and see what my next step should be. I am not going to just sit back and let this happen. He has been bitter for 15 years over this stuff, and is just trying to take it out on me. I am a strong person, and won't stand for being dragged through this crap! A friend told me that Legal Aid should help me because it's a family issue, so hopefully I won't have to pay thousands of dollars in legal fees to fight this ridiculous suit.

I am not worried about this frivolity. I am just annoyed that my ex won't let it go away. I know where I stand in this. I have never deceived anyone into thinking Kat was my ex's child. There is a notarized document on file with the state that my ex is not her father. I am also annoyed that his wife has involved herself in this, sending me nasty emails accusing me of basically being a money grubber. Nothing is further from the truth. I don't care about the money. I even offered to send the money back to them.

I will keep you posted on the progress of this lunacy. Hopefully it will all go away one way or the other in a month or so. I really don't have the energy for a long, drawn out process. But, other than that, life is pretty good.

Someday I Will Blog More Often

So here we are, almost the end of May. Kat only has one full week of school left. I am hoping that she will pass all of her classes. She has had a very rough freshman year. And I think the fact that I have been working an average of 50 hours a week doesn't help. I am a very tired mom. Plus, Tori and Sammee will be moving out of their apartment this weekend. No relaxing 3 day holiday weekend for me.

On another note, right now I am not sure how much longer I will be working. The project is almost finished and should be completely done by the end of June. But, we are waiting to hear on two bids on other areas of the plant. If we are awarded the bids, it could be another 6 months I think. But there will be even more change. Kat wants to transfer to Century High School from Pocatello High School next year. We are signing her up for Driver's Ed next week. That's right, folks, if you live in Poky, stay off the sidewalks this summer. My kid will be driving. Sammee will be starting her senior year of college, and will turn 21 in July. And the biggest change is that Tori will move to Portland, OR to attend college. Very proud of her perseverance in getting into her dream college, but the Mommy heart strings get pulled whenever I think about her being so far away. I think that I will treasure the lunches, shopping trips, and meetings for coffee just to chat, because that will end for a time very soon. I will stop now, because I am getting verklempt.

But, before all of the change in the fall, Tori, Kat and I will take a long weekend trip to Kansas City in August. I know, why the heck would anyone voluntarily go to the Midwest in August? No, it's not some sort of weird sweating diet. The former Department head of the Theatre Department of my college will be in town for some reason, and we have scheduled a mini reunion. I haven't seen these people in over 20 years, and am so excited to go! Right now I don't have money for plane tickets, but I still have 3 months until we fly. I can save it up!

So, I will try to post more often, as long as I have time. I think you all will know when I am unemployed because I will suddenly have time to post more often.

A Good Cause

I just got home from an amazing fundraiser. My daughter, Tori, and a bunch of her friends set up an afternoon/evening of music, art, and raffle prizes to raise money for Invisible Children. For those of you who don't know, Invisible Children is an organization founded in 2003 by a group of people who went to Uganda on a mission trip. They learned about a man named Joseph Kony who led the Lord's Resistance Army, intended to overthrow the Ugandan government. To man his army, he would invade villages and abduct the children to become soldiers. The group of missionaries were outraged and created a documentary called "Invisible Children The Rough Cut."

The cause has grown immensely over the past 8 years, due mostly in part by "roadies" who are volunteers who travel the country telling the stories of the Invisible Children and the horrors of Uganda. Tori has a passion for this organization, and will probably end up doing a tour as a roadie someday soon.

Next Monday, April 25, Tori will be participating in 25. This is a fundraising effort in which participants will remain silent for 25 hours. Now, I love my daughter, but Tori even talks in her sleep, so this will be a huge challenge for her.

So back to the fundraiser. Tori worked her hiney off (not that there was much there to begin with) getting donations for the raffle. And, today, for 5 hours, at Co Ho coffee house, these kids sang, drew names, told jokes, and sold cookies, caricatures, and hand made crafty stuff to help these people across the world from them. Tori is a fundraising animal. By about 8 pm she was completely drained, but kept pushing for donations. There were actually more raffle prizes than people. Tori started selling prizes for a dollar each. By 7:30 these kids raised $568.00. Really? I am so proud of all the college age kids who have a passion for this cause!

As a mom, I have tried to teach my girls to give back, regardless of income level. And my girls surprise me all the time with their generosity and selfless giving to others.

To find out more and contribute to Tori or Sammee for the 25 fundraiser, go to http://www2.invisiblechildren.com/. Thanks for your support, and thanks to Tori and her friends for having a passion for this cause.